Will it ever get any better?

I thought I was doing o.k but these past few days have been awful and I can’t stop the tears.I lost my beloved big brother in August 2016 and my lovely Mum in October 2017.We all lived together in the same house and I miss them so much.I am living in the house on my own now and I hate it.I cannot afford to stay in the house and it is way too big for me so I am having to move.It has been left to my sister and other brother as well as me.My brother had cancer and passed away within 7 weeks of his diagnosis.I not only lost my brother but he was my best mate as well.I was my Mum’s carer as well as working myself.Mum’s death was really sudden.She went into hospital on the Saturday and passed away the following Thursday.
To say I am sad is an understatement.I am on anti depressants,sleeping tablets and have had counselling which help.I was still having counselling to cope with my brothers death when Mum passed away so it has all got very confusing.I am surprised I am still standing but I just have to take each day as it comes.Some days it is as much as I can do to put one foot in front of the other.
My heart goes out to everyone on this site.At least we understand what we are all going through unlike some people who think we should be “getting over it”.

Hi Murielmupp

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum and Brother and the fact that you are now having to move. Life seems to hit us with everything all at once. My Life imploded in October when my husband and best friend both died unexpectedly on the same day. I also had to shut down my business on that day and a week later I was officially diagnosed with Cancer.

LIke you I am a mess. I made a complete fool of myself again today in a coffee shop - had a panic attack and tears were streaming down my face. The pain in my chest was awful. I have been given a prescription for anti depressants but up until now have been scared to take them. Do they calm you down emotionally?

I also considered counselling but I don’t want to keep going over everything with a stranger - they can’t change the situation so I thought what’s the point.

Every day I wake up and am hit with a paralizing fear. I can’t seem to get on with anything. I am from a large family but they have all resumed their lives and like you said “want me to get over it” They actually say on the rare occasion that they text "“Are you feeling better?” Well I’m still breathing so I guess I must be ok.

Sorry for the rant. I hope someone can offer us some suggestions on how we can cope with this crippling painful existence.

Sending you a hug - it’s the only comforting thing we can do for each other.

YVonne x

Hi Scorpio.Thank you for your reply.You have certainly been through a lot and are still going through it?I understand completely about the panic attacks.They are awful.I have never had one before until just before Christmas.I ended up in A&E with mine and it was very scary as I was on my own.I thought I was having a heart attack but at least now I know the signs.
I find the anti depressants help although finding the right one is the key.I have managed to half the dosage of the sleeping tablets.I was put on those even before Mum died due to months of hardly any sleep because of losing my brother.I was actually sent home from my therapy session by my counsellor as he was shocked by how exhausted I looked.
I find it helped to talk with someone who was totally detached from me.I also felt I was able to vent my feelings and not be judged.I was very much against going as I thought it would not bring my brother back but my Mum pleaded with me to go as she could see how it was affecting me both mentally and physically.
I went to Talking Therapies who my Dr recommended and you can refer yourself.Its not for everybody but it is worth a try.I did go to Cruse but I didn’t gel with the lady I saw so it didn’t help me.
Thinking of you and big hugs back xx

I feel such empathy for you and everyone who is trying to cope with normality when our lives have become so un-normal. I lost two close family members two years ago and I couldn’t work out why I have a continual feeling of sadness, every day. I wake up with it, I go to sleep with it and I dream it too. Then I lost a friend very recently and I am so sad. A friend said I was depressed and I poo-poo’d it but today at work someone said something negative and it has completely knocked me! I think I have been putting up a protective barrier for 2 years - not listening to music, not talking about how low I feel, just trying to cope. It’s not working, I cry at random and yet I thought I I was coping and to everyone else I seem perfectly ‘normal’.

Hi I lost my son to cancer in December and it’s is absolutely unbearable I wake up crying every day and do so through out the day I am on Meds for anxiety and depression but I can’t say if they work or not as I just feel so anxious all the time
When my husband goes to work in just sit here with my memories. I am still seeing the do and a councillor but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better and no way am I ready to go back to work. .but I hate being in the house alone I just don’t know what to do or if it will ever get any easier .I am so sorry for your loss x

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