A few months ago I lost my best friend Keenan through leukaemia, i was shocked to start with that I never thought I’d ever loose him, although many people keep saying it was likely anyway i still didn’t think that he would go. We spoke every single day and I’d go to see him often in hospital. He helped me through so much with my mum when she had breast cancer and my brother through mental illnesses. I’d known him so long and still I go to ring or text him and I start crying because I’ll just need to speak to him, at least to say goodbye. We would laugh and joke about things all the time. We knew that if we were upset we always had each other to speak too. I miss him every single minute and it’s hard to think or even speak about him this out this awful pain in my chest wanting to see and laugh with him again. I still don’t think I’ve properly said good bye to him, and I know I’m not coping but I don’t know what to do.
Hello Evlou,
I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your best friend, Keenan, a few months ago. It sounds like you had a really close, supportive, friendship and it must be very difficult for you to come to terms with your loss. Everything you’ve described is a completely normal reaction to grief and you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing.
We have some information on our support pages about how to cope with bereavement - perhaps there’s something in this article that helps: https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
We also have an online bereavement counselling service available for community members. This is a free service and you’d be more than welcome to register for an assessment if you feel that it might be helpful for you: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling
Take care,
Eleanor