Hi jules, it is so raw for you at the moment. The usual words that well meaning people will say will just fuel your anger as they have no idea of your absolute pain unless they too have lost. I m a year in and all I can say is that the fog somehow does lift but by bit. For me I set goals - the first being getting my health back on track as this is what helps with your strength to deal with emotions. I ve had a year of ticked off goals, the most recent being the windsor half marathon (I m not a natural runner)
You will find your own way, you ll surprise yourself. I couldn’t accept that I would be distraught for the rest of my life, which could be another 30 years!
Where do you live jules
Hugs to you