Will things get better ?

It has been 6 months since dad passed away. The loss seems to have increased as I find myself thinking more of how I will never hear dads voice again, be able to see him and speak to him. That he is gone forever. I desperately wish that life could go back to a time when dad was here and we were all happier. Mum is struggling with the loss of dad, she finds the loneliness so painful and time difficult to fill. Mum didn’t have friends as her world revolved around dad, two peas in a pod. I want to support mum but am feeling totally overwhelmed and anxious. Each day starts with a feeling of dread and worry, fuelling my anxiety. Negative thoughts consume me as I can’t see a way forward and a better happier future. I am sad, overwhelmed and hoping someone can tell me it gets easier.


Hi, I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your dear dad, I lost my mum in July this year and I am totally heartbroken, I can’t imagine how I will ever be the person I was before, I know a part of me died when mum passed away, I feel so lost, guilty shes not here and angry she went so quickly, they say it gets better but I can’t see how it can, I miss her so much & the thoughts of not seeing her again & hearing her voice just kill me inside, this site does help to chat to people that understand the pain we are all going through, it’s a long journey ahead for all of us, I just hope we can get through it, keep messaging on here & we can help each other, take care

1 Like

Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear about your mums passing. It is indeed good to talk as grief can feel so very lonely. People are there at the start but then it almost seems that life moves on but you the grieved doesn’t . I am here for you.

Hi, yes it seems all around that life just goes on, people just getting on with things where I feel I’m frozen in time, everything is like fog, I try to get on with things & at first I’m ok then something just comes over you, its just like waves of the ocean ,grief is a tortress thing, no matter how you try to deal with things it makes everything so much harder, it’s such a weary road we on, very tiring & most of the time very overwhelming, taking one day at a time is all I can cope with, hope your doing ok, it’s nice to share thoughts

It is helpful to share thoughts. I don’t know about you but I find the mornings hardest as the reality of everything hits again.

Definitely the mornings are hard, I go to bed hoping after a few hours sleep & to feel better than the day before , I’m waking on & off after a few hours then wake early and get up feeling drained, I’m waiting for counselling with cruse, on a waiting list, I have family to talk to but still feel lost & alone, have you had any counselling? I’m not sure if it will help but others have said to give it a go

Hi Lynn, How are you ? yes I have had some counselling and it was really good. I just wish it could have continued. Cruse and Sue Ryder were brilliant, so understanding and knowledgeable. They don’t judge, but listen. I am hoping to get more counselling through the nhs as I also have anxiety and low mood. Hopefully you will hear from Cruse real soon.
I am on school holidays at the moment so I have lost the distraction of work which isn’t helping me. The mornings are so hard.

Hi bear1, I’m getting by day by day, I find the morning is the hardest, even though I think I’ve slept enough I feel so drained when I get up, I wish I could hear something from my mum, a few on here that have lost their mum around the same time as me have had dreams about their mum, I’ve had nothing :pensive: I just feel so lost & wonder if shes ok, that all I’d like to know, I can’t focus going back to work just yet, feel so drained all the time, hope your days are ok

Hi Lynn,

I actually found going back to work helpful as my colleagues and the children were a good distraction. Now it’s the summer holidays I am struggling with out the familiar routine and company. Everyone is different though I know.

I wish someone could tell us how to manage mornings. Hope you have managed to do something nice for yourself today ?

Hi bear 1, oh my the mornings are so dreary, even though I think I’ve slept ( apart from waking up numerous times) I feel so weary when I get up, I was always a 'get up out of bed & crack on with the day kinda person but now I hate them, went to the cemetery today & checked on mums flowers & had a tidy round & a chat was a lovely sunny day, just taking it day by day, hope your ok

Hi Lynn, I know how you feel about being an up and ready type of morning person. I to was one of them and also have lost the get up and go. We have to keep trying. I find setting myself little tasks to do each day helps focus me a bit. Even though I struggle with enthusiasm I do usually achieve some of them.
I am pleased you found a little comfort from visiting your mum in the cemetery. A new special place where you can still be together a little. Hope I haven’t poorly explained that.
I have plodded through the day. Had moments of feeling quite overwhelmed but survived .

Hi bear 1, thank you for your kind words, you explained it really well, it will give me comfort knowing I have that place to go & sit with her, it will be lovely once we have a headstone sorted ( hopefully early next year) so we can get it all looking nice & tidy, & lots of nice flowers on for her, at least it won’t be too long before your back at work & something to focus on , at the moment the thought of going back to work fills me with dread, hopefully in time my feelings will change, hopefully this dark road we are on will soon become lighter, I just focus on one day at a time, do a task each day to keep me busy & my brain from overthinking, hope you sleep ok, & don’t feel to exhausted in the morning, take care :relieved:

I can understand your feeling as for me the same emotions applied
When I eventually wanted to move forwards and do new things , being among married people hurt as they wanted to talk a out their loved one, and families and plans.
but for me my kids had simply moved away and didnt bother about me they just acted like I didnt exist until they needed me and my money?

I went through a patch where I felt like I was in a hole trying to escape and every time l poked my head above the rim, someone put their foot on it and pushed me back down
Now things are easier I’m more positive emotionally personally and ; but the loneliness is still around me
Lockdown affected me and I felt as though I wanted my wife to call me to be by her side
But my therapies helped me become stronger

Best wishes sad and lonely people, I’m here to chat if I can help anyone
Keith the singing poet xx