Does anyone feel as though at last they are coming to terms with the loss of their loved one only to plunge back into despair and depression? It’s 7 months since I lost my beloved brother and last week my mood started to lift and I finally felt a spark of hope that I could move forward. But today I sank into a depression and cried endless tears, wishing, wishing, wishing he was still here.
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Hi Tabia, My condolences on your loss of a sibling. There is really no way to monitor our grief. It comes in waves, and we never know when one will knock us down & pull us under. I am 3 years on in the loss of my beloved younger Sister. I have days when I am distracted at work, or talking to someone who does not know the pain I am carrying, and for those brief intervals I can almost convince myself I am dealing with it. But then the grief, pain & loneliness wells up, and I am back to square one. Like you, crying, and wishing she was still here to share my day with, to hear about hers, to plan our weekends together, or just to laugh and chat as we used to. You are early on in your grief journey, and you will be experiencing a swirl of emotions. I compare it to an emotional roller coaster, that can be confusing and exhausting. Take your time and and try not to put pressure on yourself to “move forward.” Moving forward does not mean moving “away” from the grief. The best we can do is learn to somehow go on living beside it. Take care. Xxxx Another Sad Sister
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Thank you Sister2 for your kind and compassionate reply. My heart goes out to you for your loss. So many of us are struggling. Sending hugs 
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Ah Tabia, yes that is how I feel too. My husband died 8 months ago, my mum just over a year. I was feeling quite positive last week, holding the sadness within but seemingly coming to terms with living with it as part of me. Then a couple of days ago I felt like I had been knocked sideways by a train. It took my breath away and all my negative emotions - regret, guilt, despair and the sadness has just overwhelmed me. When I am alone I can acknowledged my pain and let it out in sobs and tears. I think it is fair to say that everyone here has felt that one way or another. I know it comes in waves so rather than just pretend it’s not happening I think it is important to feel those emotions rather than push them away. I know they will pass eventually but to deny or pretend to ignore them will not help in the long run. Do what you feel is right for you. Only you experience your individual grief journey. I wish you courage as you travel that path and hope you find peace and comfort on the way. Take care and be gentle with yourself.
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Thank you JJBee for your lovely reply. How sad I feel for you losing both your mum and husband in such a short space of time. I too wish you courage and strength. Hopefully we can find peace in time and remember our loved ones with happy memories rather than despair.
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