My life changed completely on the 10th July. On that day I lost my love, best friend and soul mate. My darling husband had been fighting Cholangiocarcinoma, which is cancer of the bile duct since early in 2023. He was so strong and stoical about his situation even when told after major surgery that the cancer had wrapped around main blood vessels near the duct and liver. He had two cycles of chemotherapy, but unfortunately it didn’t work. I cannot stop thinking about how unfair life is. My husband was a kind, honest, humble and caring man that went out of his way to help others with a strong faith in his god. I will always be in love with him, I miss his dry sense of humour, the way he made me laugh and teased me, his voice and the huge hugs he gave me. He was my gentleman, protector and rock. I know he won’t come back, but the days are so hard I just wish I could be with him again.
Dear Cariad, Your writing has so much resonance for me. Almost identical in so many ways. My darling husband had a much later diagnosis but the same devastating end. Just want our old life back. Crying for us both. 
Dear Cariad, your post is so similar to me. My husband was my absolute EVERYTHING my whole world. He was the most compassionate person I have ever met, he cared for every animal and person. He saw no bad in anyone, never mentioned his own suffering. Just asking after others. I will never see that in a person again, his love for me was like a big comfort blanket around me wherever I was. I don’t know how to carry on.
@cariad i am so sorry for you . It is such a difficult and different world now without our supportive and loving husbands . I hope you have support from family and friends . It is so unfair we are on this road
Mine changed on the 18th July seven weeks after my husband was diagnosed with the same cancer. He had no symptoms until he turned yellow. We were told surgery was a possibility but he had metastasis in his abdomen which we found out about in a letter. He had stents put in then I brought him home. His wish was to die at home.
Dear Rajay, My husband had the same diagnosis and died without treatment on July 20th. He too was diagnosed when he developed jaundice but too late . This is such a brutal cancer taking so many of our loved ones but hardly talked about.
So very sad for us all. Xx
It is awful, I have tormented myself thinking had I missed something but deep down I know he would have said if he hadn’t been feeling well. The only time he complained of pain was shortly before he died, the worst part was the sickness. It was a blessing that he died peacefully in his sleep we had our 52 wedding anniversary ten days prior.
N was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma in January 2021. He had a Whipples procedure followed by chemo. There followed 2 years of tests, scans, hospital appointments. He stayed cheerful all through.
In early 2023 he was given the 2 year all clear. We really thought we’d beaten it. He was so young and so fit. Life was was good and we made the most of it.
On my birthday last year, we had to call an ambulance for the first time. He was admitted to hospital, where he spent most of the next four months on intravenous antibiotics for infections in his liver, having drips, bags and stents inserted, removed and inserted again.
The cancer had returned and we fought it with every fibre of our being.
He came home for the last time 2 weeks before Christmas for palliative care. N didn’t quite make it to Christmas… we thought we had more time…
My heart breaks a bit more every day at the unfairness of it all, for anyone who goes through this, for the battle our loved ones went through, for the ache and the guilt we feel…
It really is sh!t, I feel your pain, your words really do resonate.
Like you, I understand the reality, but it still hurts so much
Hugs x