I find it amazing that I wake up each day and even though I feel a gut wrenching pain when the new reality hits me, I still get up and go through the motions. I cry so much and beg him to let me be with him and not be left behind to face this life without him by my side. It feels like a life sentence of heartache. I don’t want it!
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Dear,
Seasurge,
I have just read your post,so sorry for your loss. After losing my Mum in August 2017,and my Dad in August 2019,i have thoughts like i don’t want to go on,but i have to for my 14 year old son. I just can’t see me recovering from what has happened,as well as battling a severe anxiety illness since 2012. I am only 37. If you ever would like to talk,Take Care,Lucy,xxx
Johnswife. Thank you. No I am in a new level of rock bottom. A couple of days after burying Gill’s ashes I picked up a tummy bug, this coupled with 4 sleepless nights and having to care for Flora have floored me completely.
Living alone with no family to care a jot about me my only ambition is to die frankly. I haven’t spoken to anybody for three days, except Gill of course and I have to imagine her half of any conversation. The loneliness is a very heavy burden. Thank you for asking after me lass, I hope you are in a more comfortable place than I am. Peter.
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@PeterL I am so sorry to hear you are unwell. I think our bodies are so low it is easy to pick up an illnesses. If you need to talk to someone Cruise have a phone service and will arrange for someone to call you. Silverline I understand have a befriending service. I hate to think of you all alone with Flora. Is there a local Facebook group in your area? On our Penzance one somebody who is unwell asked people to walk their dog and got a very positive response. Dear Peter do take care. I am okay. Still breathing as they say 
PeterL I don’t have words left right now but I have really good family and it still isn’t enough to make me want to continue so I feel for you. hope you can be stronger than I am but don’t know anything useful, just want to say I read your post and I am sorry… this really is horrendous
Hi Peter
I’m so sorry that you’ve been unwell. I really hope you feel better soon. Sending love and light to you.
Hi. TFJ and Welcome. How kind of you to reach out when you may be in great distress yourself. This site is all about that. Helping as best we can when we are all suffering this awful pain of loss. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself. You will not find a more understanding lot of folk than on here.
Blessings. John.
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Hello TFJ , thank you very much for your kind wishes. May I welcome you to this unhappy band and express my sympathy to you that for the loss of your husband. We are assured that it will get easier in time but the opposite seems to be happening to me, my Gill died in July and the pain is as raw as ever. I am feeling better physically, In retrospect I seem to have learned the hard way not to reheat roast pork - it was an unpleasant experience.
Thank you for your sign-off “Love and Light” -it has a pleasant warmth to it and has been used before on this site.
Take care of yourself, love Peter x
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Hello Peter,
I am so glad you are feeling better. Your pork story reminded me that I did the same thing once with chicken ! It was not a pleasant experience.
I lost my husband in June and I don’t feel any better now than I did then. It is going to take time. I thought to myself the other day, if I was with the person I love most for 57 years, how can I expect to feel better in 5 months? It is so, so hard. Look after yourself and Flora. Hugs, Ann x
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