So it’s been 6 mths now since I lost my dad still finding it hard without him, I drove to work the other morning and it just hit me again ending up crying most of the way then dried my eyes and walked into work and nobody new some days I can be quite and not want to talk find it hard to express myself to my family but truth known I don’t want to burden them with it see my mum every 2 weeks take her shopping spend time with her making sure she ok, im rhe only child she has here my brother lives aboard so he doesn’t have the worry making sure she ok so I don’t have a sibling to support me and lean on I know grief can take time I know my dad wouldn’t want me to be unhappy but it’s hard you feel this over whelming love but it has no place to go but build up in side
I am the roughly the same length of time……some days the pain is all consuming and I just burst into tears. Hearing a certain song or something on the tv. I know he’d want me to be happy but it’s still so so difficult at times.
@Akeogh My wife of almost fifty years died ten months ago, at the same time our son and daughter lost their mother. Our son lives in Scotland, so we really only communicate via the Internet, I see him about twice a year. I’m sure he grieves but shows no evidence of it. He has a family and his own life to live.
Our daughter lives rather more locally and was very close to her mother and like you grieves her loss acutely. Admitting to often spontaneously crying, sometimes in the car, often to or from work. She talks to her mother when in the car and sometimes when in bed,
She too has a family and a life of her own to lead
However, neither of them talk to me about their mother; the woman who was my wife, my childhood sweetheart and best friend. I’d wish they did.
Do you talk to you mum about your dad?
I wish my children would share their memories of their mum with me, do you think your mum would appreciate you sharing your memories of your dad with her?
Memories only really come to life when you can share them.
Might it help you both?
I fairly regularly ‘What’s App’ my wife, I know she gets the texts because her phone is a few feet away from me. In my head I know she can’t read them but it eases my pain to tell her how I feel. Feelings that perhaps I should have made more of when she was alive?
Would it help you to keep a journal, write to your dad of how you feel?
My dad died sixty six years ago, so long now, that it seems as if he never existed but i still miss him and regret that his death was in many ways more his loss than mine. I lost my dad, he lost his wife and family, watching them grow up, marry and have children of their own. Those that remain behind still have a lot to live for.
I wish the best for your future.
Yes I do talk to my mum only about my memories of my dad but I don’t tell her how I feel because I don’t want her to worry I know my brother probably grieves but I never see it ,I always imagine as a child your parents would live forever