Without You (Poem)

To my darling Alan.

Without you I’m lost in all I do
I feel so alone and miss you
Without you by my side
My grief I cannot hide
Without you to see
Life holds no meaning for me
Without you to talk to
The silence is deafening in all I do
Without you to hold
I feel I cannot be consoled
Without you to touch
Life doesn’t mean very much
Without you to listen
I feel like I’m in prison
Without you to care
Is the heartache I just can’t bear
Without you to echo your voice
No sound makes me rejoice
Without you to share my life
My world is in total strife
Without you nothing makes sense
I so miss your physical presence
Without you I am only half here, so I don’t feel alive
Carrying this pain it’s so hard to survive
Without you every day is a living nightmare
Your memories and love are now only in the air


@Alone1 beautiful and apt!

The depth of loss can seem bottomless. Your poem plumbs the depth of your despair, but also shows a hint of you rising again, towards a surface where there is grief, memory, but acceptance that your life goes on and he has a special place in it and always will. The best medicine is to talk about your feelings. You will only hear the truth. I will always listen, and like many, `I am sure, I love you too. Hope for tomorrow and fight through today. It will get easier.

Thank you for your kind words.
It’s will be two and a half years next week that I lost the love of my life. I thought my loss would get easier with time, but the tears still fall for the slightest reason. A song, going to places we used to go to, even simple little things like shopping and thinking “Alan would like that.” Seeing couples holding hands and wishing I could still hold Alan’s hand.
Sitting here now looking at his photos, talking to him and crying. How I wish he could hold me in his arms again.


@Alone1, your poem was beautiful and meaningful. I am sorry that your life appears to be no easier after two and half years since you lost your dear husband.
After 28 weeks since losing my husband, my tears fall at times, I don’t like the radio on and only watch old quiz games on the tv. I have had to go to some places we went together but not from choice, I hate shopping and seeing his favourites , the list goes on.
The way I feel now and remember our wonderful life together, I cannot believe that I will feel any different however long I live. I do go out and try and live some sort of existence but it is very difficult,

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Hi Rome18 i fully understand that that you can’t go to the same places or watch tv programmes i have been exactly the same since my wife died 9 months ago it seems as though life has ended one day i will pickup the courage but it may take me several months yet remember you are not alone if we didn’t think like that then we wouldn’t be human take your time and do thing’s when you are ready don’t let anyone tell you any different wish you all the best xx

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Hi Bill2, you’re right, it’s courage we need. I was determined to listen to ClassicFM the other night and everything was ok until they played music from our wedding. So, now I am back to square one. It really is heartbreaking the many ways our brains can be affected by grief.
I really need to try again and watch more than old quiz game programmes, especially when we have the darker evenings approaching,
Best wishes to you,