It’s really odd but I have slept well from the day he passed away. I was always constantly on edge before, always took my mobile to bed in case he rang. It makes me feel guilty that the anxiety and stress is disappearing since I lost him. For 14 years I never knew what was coming next but I would put the clock back to have it all again xx
Of course you would
xx
I feel like you. For many years I worried about my girl constantly and kept my phone on 24/7. There were many crises with her mental health and periods when she seemed to be coping better, followed by another crisis. I’ve been waiting nearly 2 years for the inquest and meantime I’ve had good counselling and excellent support from Compassionate Friends. After talking to others, through compassionate friends I’ve decided that I’m not going to the inquest. A close friend has read all the statements for me and is keeping them safe, in case I decide to read them sometime in the future. The coroners office say they try and send the notes of the inquest on the day to next of kin and, failing that they will phone me in the day with the cause of death. I just wanted to say that going to the inquest helps some people and not others. It’s a personal decision and I feel that putting myself through all the details of attempts to save her life won’t help my girl and they won’t help me. I’ve had a barrage of brutal facts about her death and already enough to break me several times over. I suppose what I’m saying is it’s ok not to go to the inquest if your gut feeling says don’t go. It’s ok to go if that’s what your emotions tell you is right for you. For a long time I thought it was my ‘duty’ to attend, now I think differently. So I would say to anybody facing an inquest that it’s ok to go with your heart and what feels right for you. Xxxxx