World turned upside down

My father died on 29th December 2018. He was out for dinner with family and choked on some ham. Mammoth efforts were made to revive him but did not succeed. He was 84 and had Parkinsons. He was struggling and low in mood and was deteriorating, but was managing so this came as a such a shock. I lived nearly 200 miles away from hom but visited him regularly and spoke to him everyday.
Although I was not terribly close with him it has totally turned my world upside down and opened old wounds of my mother passing away on Christmas eve 16 years ago.
It has left me feeling unsettled as to where i want to be and if I still want to be in the relationship that I have been in for the past 10 years. I have not been back to work since it happened and have just been signed off for a further 2 weeks. I have always loved my job before this happened and now i can’t get any motivation for this either.
My partner keeps telling me not to live in the past and be sentimental and to look to the future and make plans but I just can’t do that at the moment. I feel in such a muddle about what to do and so worried about hurting anyone but all I want at present is to be back “home” and on my own. I am so worried about how to move forward.

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad, he was 66 , suddenly on 2nd Jan. I feel so lost. I, like you, haven’t returned to work yet. I feel I want to make big changes in my life and my career is one of them.
It’s such a horrendously difficult time with emotions running riot. I have decided not to rush into making changes right now as I feel I’m probably not in the right frame of mind and may regret it. Why not lock your thoughts of the future in a box until things have settled a little ? Xxx

Hi, thsnks for your reply. I uprooted snd moved 200 miles to live with my partner 10 years ago, all I feel now is that I want to go back home. The ramifications of that sort of move scares me and I know I need some time to settle down but the pull to ho home is like a physical pain. I like your idea of putting it into a box for the moment.