I find myself stuck in a cycle of worry and don’t know how to stop. I have always been an anxious person but since my husband died it has become much worse to the point where I feel paralysed with fear. I worry about loved ones dying. Being alone having to have an operation panicking and never being able to stop choking never feeling any better and the list goes on. As soon as I wake it is there. I feel I will never get out of this cycle I have fallen into Does anyone else feel this way x


Anxiety and worry is fear based on what has NOT happened (future ). The only way to break this cycle is to live day by day. Wake up and only concentrate on the day ahead, focusing on that only and banish any thoughts of tomorrow or thereafter. That’s why all the experts tell you when you are bereaved to take things hour by hour, day by day. We can’t solve what is yet to happen.
As we all know now through losing our loved one’s, tomorrow may not come. It’s easier said than done but practice retraining your mind to only think about the next hour and so on. This has helped me enormously.
Big hug

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@Nel Morning Nel, sorry to hear that you are feeling stuck in this cycle. Are you able to speak with your GP about this? - hopefully they can refer you for some professional help eg counselling. I suppose there’s always the option of finding someone privately. Whilst that’s more expensive you might get the support you need a lot quicker. Keep talking to us on here in the meantime though - we’re not experts but we’re living through a lot of emotional change and grief so hopefully we know where you’re coming from and can offer some support. Best wishes.

@Nel sorry you are feeling this way. Anxiety and fear do seem to be a very common part of grieving. Have you tried any podcasts on anxiety or grief? I listen to one called Headspace. It has a whole section in grief and gives you ways to slow your mind down. X

@Nel I am sorry you feel stuck in this circle of worry and anxiety. I have felt the same and understand this is quite common in grief, and it can relate to feeling not in control, especially if your partner died suddenly and it was a traumatic and terrifying experience. I don’t know if this happened to you, but certainly in my case I was told I maybe suffering with PTSD. I sought the support of my GP and counselling which has helped with my panic attacks and to manage the anxiety. As a suggestion you may want to chat with your GP to see if there is any support they can give. Sending hugs xx

@sandi thank you Sandi. I have tried everything to help with the anxiety. I read an article tonight suggesting paying less attention to the anxiety which is easier said than done. It has been almost two years since my husband died. He had a cardiac arrest in front of me. OnMonday 24th is the day he passed away. I held his hand until he took his last breath. I died with him that day. That is at the moment how it feels. I feel I’ve lost the safer and control in life that having my husband gave me. We did everything together. My life has been blown apart and I’m struggling with it. A few weeks ago I felt I was doing well but it all seems to have gone pear shaped. I have started taking Propranolol again to try and help with the symptoms of anxiety. I am hoping I can get it under control. Thank you for your reply x


@Nel I hope the tablets bring you some relief, anxiety is so exhausting and can just come on out of the blue. I am so sorry you also experienced your husband passing in such a traumatic way, nothing can prepare you for that. For me when the anxiety hits again I just go back to taking one step at a time, and try something to distract myself. As you say its not easy, we are in recovery. Sending you healing thoughts xxx