My beautiful mother died 4 weeks ago. My heart broke at that moment and despite the grief and tears I was able to ‘function’ and support others around me. I found the funeral awful and I absolutely hated everyone saying, “oh what a lovely send off” and “weren’t the flowers beautiful”. At the funeral I didn’t cry, as I was comforting my dad, wife and daughter. At the gathering afterwards I felt so upset and broken, and I only wanted to talk about my mother but found everyone was only talking about themselves and their experiences. I feel awful for feeling this way because I truly wanted to celebrate her life that day but it was worse than I ever imagined. Has anyone else felt this way? Thank you in advance for your support.
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Hi @Paul049
Welcome to this forum. I think when someone passes, it’s a shock, & sorting out the funeral stuff gives you something to focus on, it’s after the funeral we tend to feel it more. I understand wanting to talk about your mom & remember her, I’m guessing people didn’t mean to upset you talking about their own experiences, I know after a bereavement people don’t always know what to say. If it helps, maybe you can do something personal to remember your mom, like putting together a scrapbook, or box of special memories, maybe talk to your family about her if that’s what you want to do, it’s not too late to have that conversation if you want to. Sending hugs of support.
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@Paul049 - I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum and completely understand all your feelings before, during and since the funeral. Losing a parent is such a traumatic experience and it hits us all differently. Regarding the actual day, people find it so hard to know what to say to bring comfort to the family. After my Dad passed away in November, my adult daughter had a beautiful photo book made up of so many family photos and my Mum looks at it often and it really brings her comfort. We talk about my Dad a lot and remember all the happy times but as a family we still have bad days.
I hope you manage to find some comfort over the coming days and weeks - would it help to maybe have some grief counselling?
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Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I think counselling may help at some point but I’m going to leave it for a little while to see if these feelings subsided in their own time.
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Thank you so much for kind words.
Your experiencing normal feelings. You have lost your mum a huge part of your life.
Its only been 4 weeks.
Mines been 8 weeks and i still am in auto mode.
I have 8 siblings and they have made me feel like they feel the loss worse than me.
I find looking at pictures and listening to music she liked is helpful.
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Thank you for your message. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss and I hope your feelings aren’t lost in those of your siblings.
I hear you. Its hard but you take it one day at a time. There is no rush x
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