Worse than ever

It’s been nearly three years since I lost my dad very suddenly and far too young and I feel like I’ve been on autopilot. Now, I feel like I’m drowning in sadness all the time and I don’t want to do anything and I have no excitement for anything.
Three years in I feel like I can’t talk to people as I feel like time should’ve healed in some way and I don’t want to bring the vibe down but I feel worse than ever.
I’m trying to do everything right, exercising, eating better and socialising when I can.
I’m not sure if I’m depressed or if it’s still grief. Maybe it’s the fact it feels like no time has passed but nothing will ever be the same. I feel like life around me has carried on moving and I have stood still. I haven’t achieved anything when everyone around me has and I’ve not moved forward and I don’t know how to.

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Hi McDuck. I’m so sorry your Dad passed so suddenly, and so young. It doesnt make it any easier, but when a parent is that little bit older, it can be a bit less painful knowing they’ve done all they can.

I lost my Mum almost a month ago and I keep wanting to scream at people who arent aware, “MY MUM HAS DIED!”

You want me to have a normal conversation and make out like everything is normal when my most beautiful important person is no longer here?

I can imagine that 3 years down the line, you are expected to be ok… but I’m sure that is not always the case.

Do you have any support from friends or someone you know who you can talk to? I’m finding my own feet with this also and wondering if therapy or counselling will help?

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normal. everyday after 8 years losing both mother and father, I wake up so saddened by their loss. I am still on this board. I was an only child. my relationship with them is as strong as if they were still here - but I cannot repair or fix or do anymore, things to make things better. they are gone and it all ended and I am still in disbelief. many of us who had loving parents, hurt everyday.

but your life is also at play. if you are otherwise happy or fulfilled, it should be easier. losing loving parents is the final, horrible, adult passage.

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Hi, That is exactly it the just wondering how the world is carrying on when yours is stood still. Absolutely want to scream in everyone’s faces I totally get that!

I do have support but I don’t always want to put it on them. I haven’t tried counselling I’m not even too sure where to start. I’ve signed up to the Sue Ryder text messages and it’s always really interesting to hear everyone else’s experiences on here and know that I’m not alone.

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Hi berit,
Just wanted to say that you have written such lovely true words in that we hurt every day when we had such loving parents. Its a privilege to have had such a wonderfiul person as my mum and I too miss her terribly.
I hope in time I can find some happiness to live like she would want for me but right now its still raw after 15 months.
MDuck I feel the same too. You are not alone thinking teh way you do. Nothing prepares us for teh huge loss that I cant even start to explain.
Thinking of you
Deborah x

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