I am so lonely my heart feels like it is going to explode with the pain of losing him ,I cry constantly every morning when I wake and realise he isn’t here anymore, I walk round our home endlessly shouting for him to come back….I went from caring for him round the clock to so much time on my hands, I feel like I don’t fit in this world without him what is my purpose now? where will I go from here? why am I scared? On christmas eve 2025 at our home I held my loves hand as he took his last breathe, I screamed and shouted for him not to leave me … but he was gone!! Before he died I said what am I going to do without you ? His answer was you will be ok your a strong woman and all that you have gone through in your life you came back from, but last year was a very hard one on 23rd december 2024 my good friend died of a heart attack I had to get the police to break down her door when she never answered her phone to me ,in september 2025 another friend of mine albeit he was in his 80s died he lost his fight to cancer then on dec 24th 2025 I lost my partner my love of my life, how do you come back strong from all the grief I have for all those people I loved and lost? I talk to people friends,family his family but nothing helps although we are all grieving some are handling it better than others where do they get their strength from I wish I could find mine.
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I’m so sorry for your loss @Ona and that you’ve had such a rough year. You’re very early into this terrible journey so please try not to be too hard on yourself for not coping. I’m a year on from the death of my true love and I am still overwhelmed by it all.
I wish I could tell you I have answers for your questions but I don’t and, I honestly believe, no one does. The best advice I got in those first few months was just to take each day at a time, allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you want, and don’t feel obliged to do anything that you don’t want to do. Given the pain we’re suffering just getting through the day is strength.
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