Since my last message I am loosing my battle as I am starting to question everything and anger, my mental health is giving up on me. Did my my partner no about the cancer. She was in pain and in her eyes you could se the fear because she said I’m not ready to die yet not to me directly but loud enough. Questions that’s all I keep asking myself and I’m looking for things she said and I did not hear her properly. What I would give to tell her to her face I love you so deeply, why I say did she no it’s because in a text she said I love you more than life believe me. I’m crucifying myself in every thought. I am trying I really am but this grief is far to strong for me I really need one to one but I cannot pay to much.
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Hello @David13,
Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the loss of your partner
Sue Ryder has just launched our Grief Kind Spaces.
Our Grief Kind Spaces are weekly, in-person drop-in sessions held in the local community and run by trained volunteers. The sessions provide a safe, informal and supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences of grief, helping attendees to feel heard and less alone.
If you’re not in an area with a Grief Kind space, or are looking for a different kind of support, you might want to check out the AtALoss website. It is a directory of bereavement support, including support groups. If you click this link then select your region, you can see what bereavement support is available in your area.
Your council’s website should also have information on local bereavement support. If you search for “your council name + bereavement”, you can find your council bereavement support page.
I hope this is helpful - take good care,
Alex
David
I am so sorry for your loss and with this community you are not alone. I am caring for my wife of 34 years but partner for 36 who has lost her battle with cancer . I have watched her being reduced from a very fit woman 3 weeks ago Walking in Norfolk to being totally helpless, no longer eating or drinking and we expect to loose her in the next day or two. I have had real wobbles even today when I questioned the point of everything and got so mad at the suffering she is going through. She spent her life doing charity work raising £1m for cancer research during her life , always putting everyone else first and now here she is suffering. Why. So I am with you totally I feel everything you feel but I have found this community a life saver because it allows me to rant and the community support . For what it is worth all I can say is keep sharing on this forum even if you repeat yourself like I do. The community only give positive support which is so so helpful. A big hug from me to you. Nedh
Thank you so very much. I cannot imagine what you are going through so that hug is returned to your self. Seeing your beautiful partner fading away in front of you must be the cruelest of all things to ever se. Puts my worries into perspective. You sound a strong person and you’re preparing for whatever happens, you are some person and I feel honoured getting a message from you. Bless you and your partner.
Thank you David , we are all suffering and it hurts . I don’t see myself as strong especially when I cry my eyes out at the slightest loving memory Stuff we took for granted now carries an enormous weight but having people like you and this community to share our burdens helps.
Well she is still with me today , not saying a great deal but sleeping deeply
Thanks again
I think she knew you loved her, most people even if they are not told know.
My son had special needs ,he died aged 47 of cancer. He died within 3 months, one doctor said would you like me to tell him about the cancer. I said no , as I knew my son ,and I knew he needed to live the time he had left without worry . Which he did right to the end.
It’s always a pleasure. Keep strong.