Honestly, I am bloody speechless!
The joke that is “Tell Us Once” system informed the Civil Service Pensions Department who then sent me a claim form. I filled it in, they asked about children under 16, children over 16 in full time education, and adult children unable to work because of disability. I explained about my daughter on a separate piece of paper, detailing that he was not her biological partner and as she was an adult when we got married he could not adopt her. I asked them if I should include her on the form or not. They wrote back asking for her birth certificate. I sent it. They wrote again saying that as they now had all the necessary documentation my claim would be processed in the next 19 working days.
I have just received another letter saying that the information they have received from me is incomplete and please send the Adoption Certificate or other legal documentation detailing that he had taken on parental responsibility for her.
Without this they cannot process my claim. I have no proof or legal documents. I don’t even want a dependent’s pension for my daughter. It will be more hassle than it is worth, but I took legal advice and was told to fill in all the boxes about who lived with my husband during our marriage as it could be taken as fraud if I left anything out.
I do, however, need to claim my ‘spouse pension’, and as it was all on the same form they will not process it without documents that do not exist.
Oh @Willow112
What a horrible situation you now find yourself
Surely there must me someone who can help.
Have you tried Citizens Advice. Maybe they could help
Big hugs
X x
So sorry to hear this. I remember stumbling over much the same questions on the Civil Service Pensions form. As I recall I had to declare my two adult sons even tho I wasn’t trying to claim a pension for them. You’d think if any organisation could manage to devise a sensible form it would be the civil service, but I guess pensions are contracted out.
I never got responses to emails I sent CSPS so I’d advise trying to telephone if you can.
The only comfort I can offer is that in my case the widows pension did get paid even if my questions went unanswered. Fingers crossed they do the same for you.
BTW they may have lost the separate piece of paper you sent with the full explanation. Don’t be surprised if you have to say it all over again in order to make them understand you aren’t trying to claim a dependents pension.
Thank you. I have written to them again explaining the situation. The daft thing is, they have my daughter’s birth certificate, our marriage certificate and his death certificate. They can see how old she is, and how old she was when we married. They must be aware that nobody can adopt an adult. I ticked all the boxes in the forms confirming which documents I was sending.
In the meantime, they still have all the certificates. Whilst I paid for several death certificates (the cost of which is outrageous), I only have one marriage and one birth certificate and other organisations also need to see them.
As you say, one would expect the Civil Service to be able to put together a form that is fit for purpose.
It is reassuring to know that you had similar problems and that it had an almost satisfactory outcome.
I will put in an official complaint once a decision has been made. But I want my documents safely back first!
I really empathise about having to send away the only copies you have of birth and marriage certificates and the anxiety you feel until they are returned. I had to send mine to DVLA to get a new driving licence. I’ve had the licence back but still waiting for the documents. Even though you can order replacements (for a fee!) that’s never the same as the originals. My birth certificate has my father’s handwriting on the back. That’s irreplaceable!
Fingers crossed for both of us!
you tell them the basics and anything else you keep to yourself. its only for closing banks accounts and anything else you might need to do, like driving licences etc… you dont tell them about family etc.
Have you actually filled in the civil service widows pension claim form? It really does ask questions you really wouldn’t expect to have to answer.
Hi Annie! It got to the point where I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had asked about our sex life! 
i am not a civil servant, hubby wasnt insured, had any pensions
Yes indeed! And they take away your widows pension if you remarry. So there’s a disincentive for us!