I lost my mum to a 6 month cancer battle, she died January 14th 2014, Xmas has never been the same, the last Xmas we had together she was very ill putting on a brave face for the family now every time Xmas build up starts I find myself upset, crying daily over silly things and feeling so lonely, I have a lot of amazing sisters, 2 of which have their own families and my younger sister I just want to enjoy life, it’s so hard trying to pretend to be happy, I can’t actually remember the last time I genuinely was! I have an amazing partner but just don’t feel he understand (he also has x2 children, so his own family) it’s so hard having so many emotions when Xmas is supposed to be happy
I’m so very sorry to hear that you lost your mum in January 2014. Christmas is often a difficult time for people who are grieving. There are so many expectations to be happy and have a good time, which can be really tricky to deal with. It’s also so hard to escape at this time of year - I’ve already heard Christmas music in some shops.
If you are interested in reading about how other members of this community cope with Christmas, there are a number of older conversations from last year. I just did a search for ‘christmas’ and came up with these results: https://support.sueryder.org/community/search?search_api_views_fulltext=christmas
I hope there’s something in these conversations that helps.
Take care of yourself,