Scarl34. Well done today, you are doing really well, thinking of you especially today. Sending lots of love x
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Keep going and take your little wins, well done on keep moving one foot in front of the other.
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thank you @Kathy6 i suppose it’s an improvement to yesterday as i was still led in bed torturing myself about the day ahead. sending you all my love too xx
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thank you @Sun 
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Well done x
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Its like that @Nori many ups and downs - one minute your ok the next youre a wreck … those memories and sadness so hard some days … take care - at least you have your boys with you ! Mine are grown up with partners of their own and i can tell you they don’t get easier with age - so enjoy it while you can even though its a sad time for you xxx
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I really can and do feel with you all, can relate and understand. Still, most of you are so lucky to have children, family and friends to help you carry on through this hell. If it weren’t for our cats that need me l think l would end this misery called life, the loneliness, the silent weekends, can’t share with mostly strangers what l’m going through.
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Matisse, you can share with us on this site, we might be strangers but we all share the same overwhelming grief of loosing our loved ones. There is always someone giving their story and showing how they are coping and moving forward(even just making baby steps).
Sending lots of love x
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Just as @Kathy6 has said, you can absolutely share whatever you’re feeling on this forum,it’s why we’re all here. You will find non judgmental, warm, lovely people on here.
You’re not alone in this awful journey x
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Everyone on here is in the same situation, I lost my fiancée in October after she had the all clear in May from Cancer. It was such a shock to here it had gone to ger brain. I spent 24/7 at her bedside for a week. It was horrific to watch my soulmate die in such away. I sometimes wonder why im still here, but have no choice but to carry her memory forwards if i can. Love to all on here xx
I was thinking about going away, we used to go abroad for new year. But i chickened out going alone didn’t sit well.
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I don’t know you and im proud of you. Your doing what is right for you. Thats all any of us can do. Stay safe
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Youre so brave ! I couldnt do it myself ! Only just managing to go away with daughter and granddaughter ! At times its been hard tbh - but i wish you well and if you can do it - good on you 
xxx
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Hi Steve59, it’s an awful time & firsts are the worst. I hope you have support & manage to get through it somehow. All you can do is take it a day at a time & hang on in there. Take care.
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hi new here i lost my daughter suddenly 10 months ago the only way through this is to keep busy we dont have a choice im lucky i get to help look after my grandchildren her husband is doing his best he even taking them over night stay for santa as they always done we had birthdays which the run up ate worse than the day but it like u b come two peole u pretent in front of kids but i found i made time for myself to cry scream round my daughter birthday were i didt have to pretend it help to let that pain go dont b frightened of it which i was doing and holding back it make me sad and angry too when i see families out and about it so unfair wast going to do Christmas but relised kids need to try keep routine things they always done i no it going b hard never in a million years did i think this could happen and i would b able to carry on went counselling wast realy for me but best bit of advice i got was dont hold it in so thats what i do cry when it builds up let it out i do feel life just exists u do what u need to do get trough the day and you will have numb weeks and that make you feel guilty too but mayb it your body way of pretackting you so as you can cope i do worry about children as they dont mention her but i thi k it will come if we still can believe it how do they process it so when it does come we will b that bit stronger to deal with it when they happy it make me happy and i no in my heart thats what my daughter would of wanted to b there for them as we were so close it not me im devastated for it what my daughter not around for her children and them but il give them all the love and cuddles as she was very loving person alwas hugging them i find not good to my own to much yes need it sometimes best advice my sister done in early days rang me in morning made me get up wash dreesed and go out walking thats what i do every day get get dreesed if i sit about in jammies i have no energy we still all in shock just one day at a time
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Hi SHAZ1, so sorry for your loss & you sound like you are doing all the right things. It is best to just sit/ go with your feelings. Yes keeping busy helps but also having you time. I’m pleased you have the grandchildren to help keep you going & i’m sure over time they will talk about their mum. When they do, they’ll have a loving grandmother & dad to talk too. The “firsts” are the worst, i hope you can enjoy Christmas to some degree with your grandchildren & son-in-law. Make time for yourself, take care & know all that you are feeling is normal. Just take it, day by day. That’s any of us can do. Wishing you all the best & sending a huge hug 
x
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thankyou just like you my daughter only 37 her and her husband togeather 20 years but i most say he doing brilliant best thing for him went back to work only part time and he took up football again he has b dispointed in there friends as they all went out as couples feel like a lepard not bothering as much but he has told them off i just think they dont no how to handel it that the worse thing people can do we need to talk about them to keep there memory alive yes we will have bad days were u back to the start we just have to keep going i try not to plan a head to much my husband has been brilliant i no i dont thank him much but u just feel dead inside everyone says first are the hardest i think it all ways b the same you are a differnt person and people move on they think you have too just u find it hard to except but u have to do what right for you untill people walk in ur shoes they dont no they try so u are two different people it true u put on that mask u still early days i found keeping busy helps but it draining too but what else can we do we have to keep going we dont have a choice
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Yes, everyone is different & i really do hope that in time you also see that firsts, were the worst, yes, you may not. I’ll never get over my l9ss or truelly accept it but i get on with life. Friends don’t get it & in all things, unless someone has walked a mile in your shoes, they don’t know. They’re fine if they ask, how are you & you say you’re ok but if you start telling them how you really feel, then that’s when they struggle. I find they change the subject or just say, they would want you to carry on & be happy. Like we don’t know that already. All of it is draining, trying to support others while grieving yoursrlf & all that, that entails for you, personally. Your own journey through this grief will be different from others but also have similar, if not the same feelings in there too. I had plans before my loss & don’t really plan now, whether that changes, who knows. I still expect to come home & see her, forget & go to ask if she wants a cuppa. Just the way it is at the mo.
Thank you both Kathy6 and Sun.
l keep trying everyday anew. Waking up mornings and making it through the day is horrible. Best for you all🙏🪻🦉
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@Matisse i agree, every morning we wake up to a new nightmare day, does that ever get less sad?
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