I am just shy of 13 months in, indeed it’s a year since the funeral today. I am out of my initial shock so reality is really biting now.
Writing to them seems like a good idea.
I send my husband whats app messages but writing more might feel helpful.
Xx
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It does seem to help me a little, although I sometimes cry a great deal while writing.
Me too. I think that for me reality is setting in. I can remember the last 3 months he was in intensive care and our early years together but I’m finding it hard to imagine him in our house before he was ill. Does anybody else feel like this, I find it quite upsetting xxx
My husband died very suddenly at work. I keep thinking about our last weekend together. Even though i I wasn’t with him when he died i keep imaging what happened. I make an effort to think of happier times, sometimes it works for a while.
I try to think of happier times, but sometimes it makes me feel even worse. My husband was in hospital for 7 weeks before he died and he so wanted to come home, but it wasn’t to be. x
That must have been very hard. Xx
My husband was in intensive care for 3 months in Madeira (we were on holiday) and UK. Cause he had a tracheotomy he couldn’t speak but I knew he desperately wanted to come home, I understand how bad you feel xxx
21 months for me and have talked to him every day and written to him in a diary since week one. What I do find helps, is looking back at what i wrote. It allows me to see how far I’ve come. Which is a long way. There’s also a lot I’ve forgotten and it’s good to be reminded, again to realise how well I’m doing.
Year 2 has been hard, mostly because of how much I miss him. The realisation that nothing helps, nothing I do changes the situation. Clarity in my memories, no longer blocked by shock. These can make me laugh or cry or both. The thing with memories, they are triggered and usually at the most inappropriate times.
The realisation that i still get hit by really bad days, after a period of getting on, it hits hard, out of the blue. And it’s here forever. Realising it’s not going away, we have to find a way to live with it. But year 2 has many more good days than bad.
This is it, this is my life and lots of thoughts about how to move forward but it’s getting easier, more manageable.
And from people further on than me, I’m still in the early days 
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Thank you Ali for your reflection that things will get easier as time moves on
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Yes, I’ve heard several times now that you can experience early grief for 2 years…much longer than society expects. My husband died suddenly 6 months ago. I actualĺy had quite a good day yesterday but then the reality it hit me again and I was very sad and lonely in the evening. Nearly every morning I wake up feeling anxious and full of fear.
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19 months and I agree. The first year was a fog but now the fogs lifting and it’s dawning on me he’s not coming back . The future is me not us anymore and it hurts like hell.
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I’m experiencing so many of the same feelings. I find early mornings the worst time. I lie in bed thinking about him and wishing life was back to the way it was. I find i can get through the day if I’m busy but then evenings are hard again. For me the best thing i can do is go out and see people.
I miss my husband so much. As we all miss the one we’ve lost. Xx
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Those are the worst times of the day for me too, Fliss.
I keep waking up at 4am and all I can do is think about my wife. I still can’t believe she has gone.
I’m scared of the day ahead and terrified of the future. I’m trying to go out as much as I can as I need to be with people but it’s really hard. It’s just over five weeks now and I want to talk about my wife but as soon as I start I just burst into tears.
I love her so much and always will.
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Sudden unexpected death is so hard to come to terms with. I’m the same. I can get through the daytime when there are things to do but the evenings and early mornings are so difficult. It seems that those are the times we have the most heartache, longing, and need for our spouses. Only a few months ago I had no idea my life was going to be totally devastated in the space of a few minutes.
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