It is now 19 months since my husband died very suddenly while at work. I felt that i was doing not to badly but recently i feel much worse again. I thing the real realisation that he’s not coming back is sinking in and i hate it. I want him back so much.
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It’s just over a year for me. I thought I was doing ok too, but went food shopping today. Christmas stuff everywhere, and I was in tears by the time I left. This coming Christmas already feels much worse, as last year I was still in shock.
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I know what you mean, we spend a long time in shock and i think I’m coming out of that. I hate thinking about the future at all. I can only cope with getting through a day at a time.
Sending love xx
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And to you. xx
It’s just over a year since my husband died and I also think things are getting worse. I’ve gone through the last year in a bit of haze but now reality has set in that he’s not coming back xx
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Hi @Fliss - l’m at the 19 month stage as well.
I said elsewhere that at 18 months the grief had settled into a deep quiet sadness and that’s still the case. However, l had the second wedding anniversary without him at the weekend and it was far worse than last year. I guess that’s because last year l was still so numb, whereas now l am fully aware of the reality of the situation l’m in. His birthday is next month, so fully expecting another downward lurch before things settle down again. No rhyme or reason to a lot of this, is there? I miss him very much.
Sending you a hug x
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Thanks, all. Strangely it helps a bit to know I am not alone going through this. I only hope life will get easier again.
Xx
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I lost my husband Sept 23 and I feel the pain of losing him is getting worse. For months I have been trying to keep busy, but now I am just tired and can’t wait for each day to be over.
I’m so sorry, its a horrible feelinģ and there is so little anyone can do to help. I found just talking helped me early on when life was so hard. I still sometimes need to just talk to a friend, i hope you have people around you to listen and support you.
Sending hugs x
Xx
Thank you for your reply. Family have been very good, but I put on a brave face and they think i’m doing ok. I know I not alone by reading others posts. x
I’ve really tried hard today, put some bulbs in and did some cutting back. But as soon as I came in and cried again. I just can’t see any future without my husband who I adored for 55 years. I know everyone on this site is in the same situation otherwise I would feel I was going mad. I hate Sundays, he died on a Sunday and it’s always such a long day. With hugs and love to everyone suffering xxx
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21 months for me and I concur…feeling worse than ever and have no idea which direction to take…or what to do…
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I hate Sundays too. It was the one day we had together as my husband was still working. Today seems even longer than usual because of the time change.
Well done Nala for getting out. You can take comfort in achieving something today. Perhaps by the time the bulbs flower you will be feeling a little better.
Stay strong. X
Thank you Fliss. I keep hoping I will feel better soon but it’s been year now and not much progress. I’m sorry that you hate Sundays too and it’s awful that it’s getting dark already xxx
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Yes, I am feeling much worse also, almost 15 months. I’m barely keeping it together and feel like I might have a mental breakdown. I’m sorry you are feeling worse. No, they’re not coming back… it’s a dreadful thing to confront.
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It truly is. It’s early days for me, my dear wife of thirty-one years died in August. She died at home after two years of Stage 4 cancer, I was there when she died but, the more time passes, the harder it seems to face that I’ll never be able to sit with her and talk, and hug, and laugh and cry and generally go through life with her at my side again.
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I just feel so sorry for us all to be in this position. I’ve had an awful couple of days when I couldn’t see any point in carrying on. This afternoon my neighbour came round who has also lost her husband. We had a good chat and a laugh so feeling slightly more up beat this evening. The trouble is I know I could fall apart again at anytime. Lots of hugs to everyone xxx
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I want to talk to my husband so badly. Nothing profound really just tell him what I’ve been doing. It’s so hard to accept that I’ll never see him again.
How will we ever be able to accept they are gone.
Love to all. Xx
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I read something online about somebody writing to her husband after he died. I think she still does after several years. I decided to write to my wife in a notebook, sometimes several times a day, about how I’m feeling, our life together and day-to-day events now. Logically, it seems a bit potty but it has helped a little. The pages are rather crinkly in places with dried tears, but it does feel like a line of communication to my darling wife, illogical though it seems.
I have too been writing to my husband everyday for last 5 months. I’m not sure whether it helps but I have read it’s a positive thing to do xxx
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