Although I accept my husband is not coming back, I just cannot accept this is now my life. We worked so hard - taking two jobs at one point - to give our kids a good life and look forward to a comfortable retirement. Pointless, I just wish I had spent the time with my husband and kids, we would not have been able to afford for him to buy a motorbike and he would be with me now.
Have cried so much over the past few days have made myself poorly. Just do not want this life.
The days are certainly gettng worse rather than better. Every day it’s more tears than the day before and my time now is spent re-living our short time together. People tell you to think of the happy days, but they are just so sad to think back on and smile. I hope I can one day.
Like you, I hate this life now.
So true, I feel that I am going backwards. It really doesn’t help that people keep telling me what I ‘need to do’ to get through it while they stand their with their husbands. I did have to stop someone the other day who told me I needed to get myself a ‘hobby’, telling them that what I needed was my husband and what hobby did they suggest. That night I just sat and wept and decided that the best thing is not to circulate wider than what I am doing now and avoid stopping to speak to ‘well-wishers’. I do know they are well intended but as others have highlighted on this site it would be better if they said nothing.
I have 42 years of happy days( ignoring the ups and downs in any relationship) but at the moment they bring me no comfort. I want my husband not memories.
Preparing the paperwork as I need to sell my husband’s car - just not financially viable to run two cars. Its just a normal everyday car but even this is breaking my heart as I feel it is another part of him that I am letting go of.
I don’t know if I’m lucky or unlucky, but my friends don’t even mention Alan any more. Not heard from a few of them lately either. Are they fed up listening to me cry?
I think I’m beter off crying on my own when I need toand want to.
A lovely quote from Helen Keller.
“What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us.”
Yes, I can now only rely on one friend to stay in touch and my husband’s best friend does call weekly. The others (including family) have fallen by the way-side with perhaps the random text asking how I am and when I say struggling I get the ‘oh dear…’ response back. It does upset me that they seem to have forgotten about my husband. He did so much for so many and no one seems to care he is no longer here. One of his former bosses (who my husband had known for 20+ years) looked me up on Linked-in but never got in touch at all let alone send condolences. Like so many, my husband was a good man taken far too soon.