Just before Christmas we heard the dreadful news that a friend had lost her 32 year old daughter with no warning. She was also a colleague of my husband’s and her office was next door to his. We were sad and sympathetic that such a thing could happen and tried our best to be supportive, knowing only one thing could make a difference but knowing it was beyond human power to bring her daughter back.
A month in to the new year, and we lost our own lovely daughter, also without warning. There are no words for our devastation.
Now, other friends are waiting to find out what is wrong with their daughter, a new Mum, who has been having serious and unexplained symptoms for the last couple of months. They have been among the best of our friends since the loss of Helen.
My rational mind knows that such terrible coincidences happen but it just seems that there’s no end to this. Our anxiety levels are off the scale, waiting for the next bombshell, and we can’t get through a day without tears of sorrow, anger and disbelief. Any of this would be hard to deal with but there seems to be no relief. If it was in a novel, I’d scoff at the nerve of the author in making up something so preposterous…
Hi Jeannie sorry you have found yourself on here having lost your daughter, Helen. Someone said exactly the same to me last year when I was half way through cancer treatment. If they made a film of your life they would have to take a few things out as it would be too implausible and no one would believe it. Unfortunately the worst was still to come when my beautiful boy died just before Christmas with absolutely no warning. He was my comfort and joy and the nicest person I knew with so much to look forward to. I had been told 2 years ago ‘at least things can’t get any worse’. They could and they did. Sorry this is not very cheerful but I empathise with you and understand it when you say you’re waiting for the next bombshell. The thing is non of us know what is round the corner and I thank god as there is no way I would think I could cope with a quarter of what has happened but I am still here and trying to navigate through this journey. I understand the crippling grief and feelings of disbelief. Your anxiety is to be expected following the things you are going through. It is very early days and as many people have advised you just have to take one minute at a time etc and not look too far ahead just concentrate on the here and now and let those tears come. Please tell us about your daughter if you can/want. I am so sorry for your devastating loss. Thank god for this community as i feel the support from others going through similar situations is priceless. Life isn’t always sunny and we often can’t look on the bright side or be positive it is exhausting but we can just try and put one foot in front of the other and see how far we can go and if all you can do today is feel the pain and let the tears fall that is ok. There is no time limit on grief and I send you warm wishes and strength in these testing times and hope for better days to come in the future. 
Dear Lauley,
My heart goes out to you. There is no rhyme or reason in these things and we can only go on by hoping that eventually something good will come along to help relieve the misery.
I wish you well and hope that you find some light in your life after the trials you’ve suffered.
Jeannie xxx
Ps I can’t talk about Helen very much yet but maybe soon x