My 13 year old nephew died suddenly early last night - he collapsed in the bathroom and his dad found him lifeless and blue not breathing and they tried to resuscitate him for an hour but he was gone . He was always fit /healthy /a straight a student. Just the nicest human. I’m struggling to process any of it . I’m not sure how to help my brother and his wife through this as they are both destraught . His little sister is only 11 and has not stopped crying since it’s happened . I’m in the U.K. and they are in South Africa . I’ve done a covid test that I’ll get the results of early tomorrow and flying home immediately after that to be with them. Just very sad but want to be strong and help them just no idea how:(
Hi Jeanne,
I’m so sorry to read your post. I have a 13 year old daughter and the thought of losing her fills me with such fear. I am still struggling terribly following the sudden loss of my mum 19 months ago.
I dont think that you can do anything for your brother and his wife other than be there for them. Help comfort them and perhaps look after their daughter while they try and process what has happened and just listen to them.
It’s an awful situation and I hope that they get answers to what has happened to their son. Although answers wont bring him back, they may help to understand why he died.
Cheryl
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Thank you Cheryl, I’m so sorry about your mum x
I think you are right , we are all just in complete shock at this stage . It’s just unthinkable
I will be thinking about you and your family. Thankyou about my mum but she was 74 and the death of a child doesnt compare.
I cant imagine what your family will be going through over the coming days and weeks. Try and take things one hour at a time to deal with everything.
Other people on this website who have lost children will be more helpful than I can be and should be able to give some advice tomorrow.
Cheryl
Thank you Cheryl ,
I am genuinely sorry about your mom, it’s one of the most important relationships in life and incredibly hard to deal with loosing a parent. I lost my dad 10 years ago .
It really helped getting some advice , I really appreciate it!
Best wishes,
Jeanne
My thoughts will be with you Jeanne x
Dear Jeanne
I’m so sorry for the loss of your nephew- what a terrible shock for everyone. Your support will be invaluable- just being there and helping with practical things. You’ve lost a nephew so you will also have a raft of emotions to deal with. Be kind to yourself.
I lost my 30 year old son in October 2019 - it’s still crippling at times but generally I cope well now. You never get over it but you learn to live a different life with your child elsewhere.
You will all survive this and the journey is lifelong but you will all find a way to live. I’m so sorry for the pain and wish I could take it away.
I’m sending love and the warmest hugs to you all.
Purple x
So sad to hear about the death of your nephew he was so young and should have had so many years ahead of him…Just to be with there with your brother and his wife will mean so much to them and at the moment that is all you can do…
Bless you…Marina. xxx
Thank you x
Thank you , it’s still so fresh I think the next few weeks will be incredibly hard .
Jeanne hi I lost my son a month ago he was 25 I miss him every day. Other than this site where I’ve found the understanding that I desperately need the best thing for me has been just quiet support. Someone there to help but without pushing. If you are there for your brother and his wife just to help with everyday things or more of course if needed they will be grateful. You can be there for your niece who will need someone because her parents will be consumed in their own grief and may not be able to be as focused on her right now. The loss of a child even when you have others is unnatural and crippling. I’m not saying they won’t notice because of course they will but your help with her will be invaluable and let them deal with the shock. I hope I’ve helped at least a little. I’m sorry for your loss and theirs. Steer them to this site having people who understand what they’re feeling would be a relief to them eventually when they’re ready. 
Donna