I lost my husband 3 weeks ago tomorrow. He did have an illness and had got progressively worse over the last year, he was waiting for lung transplant assessment but there were so many delays and hoops to jump through. He went into hospital and I fully believed I’d be bringing him home the next day, we’d had so many A&E visits before for chest infections, but he died a few hours later at hospital. I’m devastated and feel so sad/angry/exhausted and still struggling to believe it’s happened, I thought we had longer left together. I always believed he’d get a transplant but think that was me trying to be positive for us all, I couldn’t think of any other outcome. There’s so many things I wanted to tell him, and it’s torture thinking it over in my head. He had only turned 44 the day before he passed, and I’m only 36 and we have 2 children aged 4 and 6. Are there any other younger families on here going through the same?
@Beckie87 Hi hun, im so very sorry for your loss.
My husband was 35 and he died suddenly last Friday 22 December. I am 37, we have 2 boys slightly older then your little ones at 5 and 12 years old.
Its so very hard to know rhe best way to support them by 12 year old is angry and withdrawn, my 5 year old asking constantly where daddy is and why hes not coming back (i have explained several times as best i can, i just worry im failing them)
Not to mention the fact im devastated myself i tried to do CPR to help him but it didnt work.
Its all so very hard we didnt get to say good bye and theres so many things we didnt get to do or say. Im very angry too at him for leaving us at the sitation and myself for feeling this way.
Sending u a massive hug xxx
Hi @Brightest.star thank you for reaching out, I’m so sorry you find yourself in a similar position as me.
I can imagine it’s a lot harder on your older child, as younger children don’t understand in the same way. My 2 asked for a few days afterwards if daddy was coming back and now they are just very clingy (understandably) and talk about it in a really matter of fact way that ‘daddy has died’ which is also really hard for me to hear over and over.
I feel like I’m passing my days starring into space, reliving everything and wonder if I’ll ever stop thinking about it, I’m so mad at myself that I didn’t say goodbye to him properly before he went for his CT scan as I expected him to return.
I know it’s hard when it’s happens at anytime of year but I just feel it’s so much crueller when it’s happened at Christmas.
Sending hugs your way and if you want to talk further, I’m here xx
Hi I’m sadly new here and my situation is very similar to both of yours. It’s helped me to read on here that others are going through the same thing and doesn’t make me feel so alone. My husband died on Thursday almost 5 weeks after a cardiac arrest at home. I too did CPR until the paramedics arrived my 22 year old daughter and 11 year old son tragically had to watch whilst I tried to save their dad. My other son aged 12 was on his way back from a school trip. My husband had just come out of hospital after a quadruple heart bypass it seems so unfair that he should go through all that from him to then have a cardiac arrest. My heart is broken and I’m just trying to help my children who seem to find the night times the worst. Thinking of you all who find yourselves in this awful situation xx
And im here too if u ever feel u need to talk to someone my inbox is open 
My eldest is taking it hard it doesnt help that hubby eas right outside of his bedroom door and he was trapped in there alone and heard everything, he heard them saying there eas no pulse but didnt know who the paramedics were talking about. I am struggling with this also as i feel like i let him down not getting to him sooner and leaving him on his own.
I can also relate to the comments about daddys died- my 5 year old is much the same and before bed tonight was asking me all sorts of questions again. End result was me going downstairs after putting him to bed and crying again.
I agree with it being a difficult time of year to. He loved Christmas which also made it worse, i dont think ill ever look forward to christmas again now its never going to be the same again. xx
Hi @Suzyq75 I’m so sorry you’re in a similar position. I understand what you mean, for them to go through so much with their illnesses already and then for it to end like this, it’s something I find really hard to take. Night times really are hard and lonely, and it the time when thoughts begin to spiral. I’m a night owl anyway but most nights I’ve not managed to sleep before 2am. Sending hugs to you xx
@Brightest.star thank you
I have said the same, I don’t think Christmas will ever be the same again.
That sounds really traumatic and I’m so sorry you and your son had to experience that, you are being really strong for both of them.
I manage to hold it together for the kids, but the moment I walk down the stairs after they’ve gone to bed I can’t help but cry. Xx
Thankyou.
I’m exactly the same, i cried that much last night i made myself sick. I guess its the price to pay for loving them so much, i never knew grief could cause physical pain like this, im struggling hard with the idea of our car going back as its all in his name along with his works van which is still sat outside where he left it last monday after work…
Its all just so wrong and so sad. Each time i talk to anyone they tell me to look for a positive from each day. All i can think of is how devastated i feel.
Xxxxx
It’s heart breaking that we should be going through this. I find it not only distressing that I’ve lost the love of my life but that my children have lost their dad and my 2 boys at such a young age. I just wish I could take their pain away. Sending love to you both xxx
hi @Beckie87 i lost my husband shaun who turned 40 in july, on the 6th september after a very short cruel battle with cancer. from diagnosis he had 6 weeks, he was the fittest healthiest man i knew.
we have 3 children 9,16,19 and i turned 35 in november a widow! i still can’t understand how this has happened and that he is never coming back?
the pain is horrendous and im actually finding the new year a lot harder than xmas? the thought of entering a new year without him with us is excruciating and i wish so much we could completely avoid it and all this was a bad dream.
joining this group has been like a therapy to me and i have met some really lovely people who unfortunately are feeling the same as me, i naively thought there was no one else out there who would be going through this?
we had the rest of our lives planned and he was my best friend. there is the biggest hole in our lives now, i have no desire to do anything, go anywhere or go anyway forward in life, but the cruellest thing is we literally have no choice?
sending you and your children lots of love!
anytime you want to talk, im always here
Hi to you all who are sadly reading this. I can see a positive in that you have all found each other and can truly empathise with each others’ pain and issues to be sorted all while you really don’t want to. Keep talking, as in doing so, you will be helping yourselves too. My heart hurts for you all and I’ve no magic words, just know that you’re all not alone in your feelings and you have somewhere to vent and share. Blessings to everyone here and healing being sent 