Young & widowed

I’m 32 and lost my husband 2 months ago. We’ve been together for 6 years and only got married last year. We were trying for a baby and just bought a house in Feb. Never I thought something like this will happen to us. He was fit & healthy 29 years old. One Saturday changed everything. He spent one month in a hospital where he died of multiple organ failure after heart valve replacement operation… Since then I live a nightmare. Miss him so much as we did most of the things together. I’m jealous of other people happiness. Barely leave the house so I don’t have to see anyone. I’m so angry that our future was taken from us. I can’t even describe my feelings as they’re changing few times a day. One day I think I have to keep our house but the other day I can’t stand being there as it’s too painful. I know there is nothing that can help me as only having him back would make me happy. I know I should start doing something as it’s the only way to keep sane. I just have no strength inside me as everything seems to be pointless…

I feel for u so much and I know exactly how u feel … I’m only 36 and lost my husband 6 weeks ago … I too feel like asking the world why us and not u I can’t bare seeing happy couples . To be so young and have our husbands taken away is cruel … it makes me so angry when people say ur young u will meet someone else … I don’t bloody want to I want my husband back and the future I was supposed to have with him … I have decided to move out of the house it feels haunted without him there … every space has a memory and there to difficult to bare … to painful … I couldn’t sleep in our bed I had to get rid of everything… u need to do what feels right for u …

Thank you for your reply. I’ve heard it few times already that I’m still young and I will find someone else but I don’t want anyone else other than my husband. What’s the point of him dying so I can be with someone else that’s rubbish… I’m staying at my parents at the minute but I know it can’t last forever I have to face coming back to our house and decide what’s next but I feel so empty inside I can’t be bothered about anything. I feel like a robot doing same things everyday to stay sane… hate this life without him and hate the person I became… take care x

I feel the same. I am 48 and my husband died in our own bed from a short illness of Leukaemia. I am so glad he managed to stay at home in our own bed and I was with him when he died. However, it definitely does not make it any easier when you think of it. I am still sleeping in our bed and have a photo of him on my bedside cabinet. Everyone advises life goes on and it will get worse before it starts feeling any better. Right now I cannot see this and feel all sorts of emotions. Why him, why has this happened to us. Can I continue life without him. It has only been 3 weeks since his death and I am hating every minute of this life

Right there with you. Lost my wife two weeks ago after a hellish cancer journey. Finding being at home incredibly difficult and although lots of people offering love and support, they have their own lives. I did once.

Hello to all of you. Although I was over 70 when my husband died in 2016 I highly recommend you read the Book “Confessions of a Mediocre Widow” by Catherine Tidd. She was young when her husband died and they had three small children. I have to say that this book helped me more than all the others because she writes with a light touch yet is so moving. I kept recognizing things she did and feelings she felt in myself.

Hi everyone, I am new to this site but thought I would join after trying most things since losing my wife 2 years ago next week. To say it’s been a struggle is an understatement and, I sometimes think to myself “is it all worth it”. I fight a daily struggle to get out of bed and go to work and do all the things normal people do without a thought. All the joy and happiness I had in my life has been sucked from me and now there seems nothing to look forward to and I think to myself, will I ever smile and laugh again ?
I am trying to do the right things but because I am, I don’t think anyone sees the struggles I face daily and everyone just carries in regardless while inside I am breaking.
Has anyone any tips or ideas how I can start getting my life back on track and to start enjoying life again. I know my late wife would hate to see me like this !

Hi Andy I’m so sorry for your loss … my husband died just 10 weeks ago at 36 and I’m the same as you… trying to do what I think is right and worried about what people will think so I put on a brave face and struggle and cry at home … the future really scares me I have two little ones and feel like we are going to be alone to cope …I really have no advice but do agree that ur wife would want u to take everyday u have and be as happy as u can … I know it’s hard when people tell us that they would want us to be happy but deep down I really think they would take care x

Hi Michelle, and again so sorry for your loss. The future scares me so much too. We never had a family but sometimes I do wish we had of, as it would have been nice to have a part of my wife live on in someone else and to have the feeling of having her close to me. My life seems so empty now, as my wife was the one who planned everything and we loved our holidays etc. I worry about losing my mam now as she is the only one I really have left and worry about been on my own (selfish as that may sound). I’m sure in time we will find happiness again, it just worries me it took me so long to find the one I truly loved and now I don’t have her, will she ever be replaced and will I ever be happy again. It’s still very raw for you Michelle, it’s only been ten weeks. Your doing amazing to be where you are now looking after the kids and coping even if at times it feels your not x

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