I’m 32 and lost my husband 2 months ago. We’ve been together for 6 years and only got married last year. We were trying for a baby and just bought a house in Feb. Never I thought something like this will happen to us. He was fit & healthy 29 years old. One Saturday changed everything. He spent one month in a hospital where he died of multiple organ failure after heart valve replacement operation… Since then I live a nightmare. Miss him so much as we did most of the things together. I’m jealous of other people happiness. Barely leave the house so I don’t have to see anyone. I’m so angry that our future was taken from us. I can’t even describe my feelings as they’re changing few times a day. One day I think I have to keep our house but the other day I can’t stand being there as it’s too painful. I know there is nothing that can help me as only having him back would make me happy. I know I should start doing something as it’s the only way to keep sane. I just have no strength inside me as everything seems to be pointless…
Hi Ania
I lost my lovely husband Carl 8 weeks ago tomorrow and I’m going through the same emotions. Although I’m older than you, 58, we were together for 41 years, 37 of those married. We were best friends, soul mates and did everything together. Carl was fit. He died of a massive heart attack in the gym whilst I was swimming next door. He was fine that morning. There were no symptoms, no health issues, nothing. We live in Cornwall where I’m surrounded by happy holiday makers. It’s awful. Also, all my family and friends are in the Midlands as we had only moved here to retire. I’m going through the should I stay or should I go constantly. I think eventually I’ll go back but I can’t make any quick decisions when my emotions are so raw. Give yourself time to grieve. 2 months is very early. I’m not ready at all. There are no time limits. This path is horrible there is no doubt, but we try and support each other on here so please don’t feel like you’re alone. I have received a lot of support already. Sending you a big hug. Xx
Thank you LinF for your reply. The support of family is very important so having them close is helpful but they can’t understand what we’re going through…I know I need more time but I feel it’s getting worse and worse everyday as I miss him more and more. I feel so empty inside I have no future no nothing… I wish you strength as I know we need it. xx
Hi Ania
I have days where I feel like I have no future and no meaning to my life too, a lot of them, but then I have to think about what Carl would have wanted me to be like. It doesn’t change the emptiness and longing but I believe he would want me to carry on and try and build a new life. Your husband would want that too I’m sure. However, it scares me so much. Yesterday, I went out with a group my doctor had recommended and they were really understanding and a comfort, but today I’m back to feeling anxious, shaky and missing him like crazy. But then again, that’s the price of loving someone so much. I feel empty when I’m out as I just want to be talking to him. We are in such a dreadful journey but hopefully we can get through with support. Take care and hugs to you. X
Hi just having the most horrendous evening. I just want my Peter here to talk to .Why do we suddenly get into such a state for no obvious reason
Hi toria… how age u managing was 6 weeks for me Sunday just gone that I left she him and I was also our wedding anniversary… I know how your feeling yesterday I was ok laughed smiled gotbon with my day … felt strong for sake of my kids then today … feel empty lost … thinking horrible thoughts of how he died … it just hits u like a bolt
Sorry lost him … terrible typing
few days ago I went out for a coffee with friends we used to go out with. after 30 mins I had to leave as I couldn’t cope being there. I felt like crying. My only thought was that my husband should be there with us. I have nothing to talk about. They’ve got plans. They’ve got holidays to go to. They’ve got future. I have nothing left… I lost someone I could trust with everything. We only had a chance to celebrate one wedding anniversary. I feel like I want to lock myself in a house and never go out…