Your first after husband death

I’m going on 4 months without my darling John. Lost my love Nov 19 2023. So far I have experienced my first alone in those 4 months…Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s, Anniversary, and around the corner is my husband’s birthday. It’s a lot to deal with in 4 months. How do you handle it?

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It was my partner’s birthday today - first since I lost her.

I lost my partner in June and have found the last couple of months, since Xmas, very difficult with so many occasion firsts all at once
No real advice, as I feel I’ve regressed since Xmas on this dreadful journey

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So sorry for your loss. I wish I would wake up and this nightmare would be over. Hopefully we will both find strength to get through this.

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I hope your day yesterday wasnt too painful ? On my husbands first birthday without him i took my kids and grandchildren out for a meal and it was lovely but sad too because he wasnt there … did my best and we toasted him. Cant believe that was 6 months ago and so much yet so little has changed in a way … x

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Thanks @Deb5 - it was a tough day.
Took day off work and spent time with her at the grave in morning, and then went through old photos and made a montage.

Was torn between putting head in sand or trying to embrace it - went with the latter

These occasions that were, once upon a time, celebratory are going to be heartbreaking no matter what you do :disappointed_relieved::broken_heart:

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Yeh they are youre right … any significant occasion is hard to deal with and brings up a lots of emotions … its a tough road for sure with so many ups and downs …

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Found that since Xmas - was managing better last year before Xmas than this year

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Yeh i found xmas really hard too ! Made me so sad not having him here … he passed xmas before but think i was in that much shock i cant even remember a flipping thing about xmas year before :frowning: and i think winter has been really tough this year too …

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Hi there is no one way to handle it unfortunately. I lost my Alex in September two weeks later it was our 18th wedding anniversary but we had been together since 1985 then the month after that my niece gave birth and it was a tramuatic birth then the next month was his daughters wedding then my birthday then christmas new year his birthday and now this sunday mothers day. We did not have a family of our own but Alex always made a fuss of me with our two dogs being our furry girls so dreading this weekend. You like me have probably not have time to start the grieving process. I thought I was being strong and putting a face on things thinking I was doing Ok but speaking to family realise I am being like a robot as had no time to grieve , like you are. I have no answers I wish I did know how to handle this. The feeling of being alone is totally awful totally soul destroying. Im sorry I cant give you any advice I can just say I know exactly how you feel and maybe think handling things is too much the now to ask for just getting through each day is an achievement. My thoughts are with you being the one left is beyond awful.

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My partner loved Xmas - always spent hours putting up decorations and then would force me to wear stupid elf hat or the like if we went out anywhere, no matter how much I moaned

Was never one for Xmas decorations, but house felt like a barren wasteland without her Xmas touch this year, as do most things really

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Aw … i know its so hard. But youre doing really well and its still early days for you … be kind to yourself and day at a time … :slight_smile:

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