I used to have bad anxiety over death.i couldn’t talk about it without having a panic attack especially at night I’d else up and be panting because of the thought of being stuck under ground or burning. So when my family members died I expected them to get worse or atleast more frequent. But actually I haven’t had any episodes. Until tonight. A week after my grandads funeral. Nana was cremated and grandad was buried. I still can’t even begin to think about what happens to me but death seemed not a big deal to me anymore you know like i was accepting it happens but it’s come back tonight. Found myself thinking of the weight of the soil crushing my grandad because he chose a wicker coffin and I just think of the soil going in between the weaves and it suffocating him and crushing him and then suddenly it’s happening to me. This isn’t even in a dream it’s happening in my thoughts. Anyone else experiencing or experienced " fears of death"
Yes I do understand in a sense what you mean. I never let my mind go far enough to think of them being cremated. I did once and I started panicking. . So I just refuse to think of it. As thinking about it causes immense fear and pain. And we don’t need to do that to ourselves. I used to really fear death and cancer but watching my mum die suddenly from a mis diagnosed cancer. I suppose my brain is now more pragmatic. We live we die. We can’t worry about death. We have to close those thoughts down. We can’t live like that. We have to live in the moment. Otherwise the life that you do have will be tormented and you will still die anyway. So enjoy it whilst
We are here. Do it for your grandad. I also saw that after my mum took her last breath. That it was no longer her. She couldn’t feel. She couldn’t hear. She was not there which is why we cremate and bury bodies. Because they are just bodies. That is no longer your grandad. He lives in your heart. And if you believe in the after life. His soul is now flying free. He is not scared. He is not in pain or ill. He is with you.
I would also suggest the next time you have those images in your head you replace them of a nice image of your grandad. Alive happy and well. Remember him as he was, not dead in the ground. No one wants to be remembered like that. Or you could imagine his spirit setting next to you and you could talk out loud to him. Depending on what you believe or what brings you comfort.
I know what you mean as I sometimes have the same anxieties myself, more for other people I have lost and especially if I think of my Mum. After she died I worried about her alone in the coffin and then being cremated. I can’t really get my head around it and do try to push the thoughts away as it’s too much. Jooles has given you some really good advice, I really hope it helps and you can work through it. I think we need to remember that when someone dies their body is no longer them, it is very hard to get your head around though.
Can I just say we don’t fear being born. We don’t know we’ve been dreaming untill we wake. No one knows what happens at and after death. Maybe we wake up and realise life was the dream.
Since my partner has passed away itbgas really hit me that we are all going to die and it scares the hell out me its the unknown i think x
In my opinion our bodies are just the “clothes” which we wear for our souls, when we die, I do believe that our body is discarded like we would discard old clothes.
I do not fear death, at 81 years old, I have “lost” so many people, I welcome the thought of being re-united with my loved ones.
I so wish to have this look on it. I just don’t. I can’t help it
I understand Rhi3, I realise that I am fortunate in my beliefs.
Can you imagine eternal life. It would be horrible. Condemned to make an arse of it over and over. The finiteness of life, is what makes it the beautiful if sometimes painful experience it is. There is an eternity, the thoughts experiences we have had cannot be undone. There lies the eternity in the moment.
On we go.
Sorry, George, we shall agree to differ.
It’s a free country. That’s what’s good about we’re allowed to differ
Thats is very interesting thought and cannot stop thinking about it x
Weird init, but it is true. I don’t understand either.
You may find that this is a strange thing for me to say but why fear death, it’s coming and we can’t stop it. Death is just another door in life through which we have to pass. Concentrate on the life you are living at present, how you can enrich it and how you can live it better, death isn’t the end, but rather a new beginning. As a Wiccan I don’t have any reason to fear death, and I feel connected to those who have moved to the afterlife. What was will be again.
Walk in peace
Its the unkown for me that scares me and leaving my daughter i just dont want to go yet not at 37 bur life is so unpredictable i have loads of family that have passed and i just hope i will see them again i really do x
I don’t obviously know if you have lost anyone to whom you were close, but your words are not words of a grieving person. We all know that death is coming, but I lost my husband when he was just 46 and then my daughter died just 3 years ago yesterday. In January my brother died of cancer. It is so easy to be philosophical about death if you haven’t lost loved ones.
I am experiencing this every minute of everyday and I don’t no what to do. This started after my grandads funeral on Friday I am really struggling.
I apologise if what I said upset you but I have lost loved ones, one being my husband of 50 years, my brother, my sister and my grandson so I do know grief. What I also know is death is not an ending but the beginning of the next stage of existence. As a Wiccan the thought that my loved ones are with me every day and we will meet again sustains me.
Look not where I was for I am not there
My spirit is free, I am everywhere
In the air that you breathe, in the sounds that you hear
Don’t cry for me now, my spirit is near
I’ll watch for you from the other side
Smile at my memory, remember in your heart
This isn’t the end, it’s a brand new start.