Hi Melodies mum,
I blamed myself at first and still sometimes think i did not do enough. But there really is no more that you could have done, you loved her you took care of her and she knew this. As hard as it is for me to accept i think that my son is where he wants to be and nothing that i could of done would of kept him here.
You will have brighter days, you will laugh again, but you will never and should never forget her. What a lovely photo. People with mental illness are very good at hiding how they really feel. What must their poor brains be going through, it must be awful for them.
Always here to listen even of you just want to scream and shout. Please know that none of it was your fault.
Sending you big hugs xxxxxxx
I feel guilt as well itās the what ifs we will never now what was going around there heads when they did it you are a good mom Iām sure of it we could not have seen or know what they were going to do memories please do carry on sharing them itās all we have itās good to talk this site is about supporting each other and that what we will do sending love to you all
āToday was a Difficult Day,ā said Pooh.
There was a pause.
āDo you want to talk about it?ā asked Piglet.
āNo,ā said Pooh after a bit. āNo, I donāt think I do.ā
āThatās okay,ā said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.
āWhat are you doing?ā asked Pooh.
āNothing, really,ā said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often donāt feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.
āBut goodness,ā continued Piglet, āDifficult Days are so much easier when you know youāve got someone there for you. And Iāll always be here for you, Pooh.ā
And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legsā¦he thought that his best friend had never been more right."
Sending our thoughts to those having a Difficult Day today and hope you have your own Piglet to sit beside you 
2 Likes
Just something someone sent me
when we first lost Adrian
Thank you for your post Denise. I lost my 14 year old son five and a half months ago. I feel as if the sense of despair and hopelessness is getting worse and not better - if thatās possible. He was just a regular teenager, funny, kind, handsome, popular and his leaving is still unbelievable. Nobody who knew him saw anything amiss. I struggle to see that I will ever feel different and if I do, will I feel guilty about that? I will never stop loving him, I will never stop missing him but I hope that I will, one day, find some sort of peace and acceptance. xx
Alic1. Things will never be the same, but you will find peace. You having nothing to feel guilty about, but we all do. You must allow yourself to feel how to feel. People are very good at hiding how they really feel, i know that Adrian was. We will always ferl guilty and helpless Why did i not know, i should of done this, why could i not help. The reality is we all did the best that we could. I still miss Adrian everyday, but now when we talk about him or i think about him we remember him with a smile and remember all the funny things that he did. You will get there i promise,
Hi Melodies Mum
I hadnāt seen this picture of Melodie before, sheās lovely and very like you. I feel exactly like you, our beautiful children were babies and I feel so much like I let Ed down. I will never understand how children so young could have such dark thoughts or why they didnāt talk to us, the people who loved them most.
Hope you are holding up. Iām struggling a lot at the moment. Sending you hugs. xxx
I am so sorry for all your loses, I lost my son 6 months ago am so heartbroken, donāt no how to cope without him, this is hell we are living in hugs to you all x
Hi Helen2,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so heartbreaking when we lose a child. You will never get over it, but you will learn how to cope. One day soon you will think of your son and smile. It is complete hell, but you will ncomeco
I am trying but I truest believe if it wasnāt for my husband I wouldnāt be here anymore, still feel at times I donāt want to go on, I just feel so empty inside xx
We must live on to live the life our child can no longer live itās so hard I feel your pain your son was taken my daughter choose to leave us I have to keep telling my self sheās at peace and we must find peace to enable us to go on the virus donāt help as we canāt see love ones all we can do is 1 day at a time keep talking to each other
Yeah I know but I find talking is so hard, when I talk about Daniel I just start crying canāt even look at photos of Daniel, and memories just make it harder, knowing I canāt see and have him anymore, must be so hard for you, that she made that decision , I was ment to go before Daniel itās just not right Daniel is went first , hi to you x
Big hug and kisses to everyone xx
Nothing is right about any off this you are right no mother should have to lose a child I talk when Iām ready or I ither time keep my feeling to my self 1 day Iām so angry the other Iām num
Hi everyone
Itās now seven months since Henry died. Overall Iām managing life better than at the beginning- letās face it - it couldnāt be any worse than those first days. I keep busy in the garden- walking at least an hour a day - baking- playing scrabble online and meditating.
My grief feels a bit like a monster that sleeps inside meā¦it wakes at the most unexpected timesā¦and itās agony all over again. I cry uncontrollably for a few minutes and then Iām calmer and the monster is asleep again.
I miss Henry so muchā¦itās just awful but I still have his son, (my grandson) and my other son George. Iāve a husband and family and friends. Weāve had three shocking bereavements in six months but somehow we keep on living. My Dad is in careā¦ at the end of his life and I havenāt seen him for 11 weeks. Iāve an uncle in care too and Iāve been permitted to visit him today , in the care home garden, both wearing masks and gloves.
Iām 60 years old and my life is almost unrecognisable from what it was this time last year. I still have a desire to live though- I want to see my grandson grow into a man and be there to remind him of how much his Daddy loves him. I take heart and inspiration from my Mum. 86, losing the life she had, with the husband she has loved for 64 years, to dementia and Parkinsonās and now canāt see him in his care home. Lost two grandsons and a beloved daughter in lawā¦not even able to attend the funeral of Sheela due to Covid19. If my mum can keep going then so can I- one way or another.
Hi Helen2,
Iām so sorry to hear that sometimes you feel like you donāt want to go on. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.
I think you could really do with some support and Iām glad that youāve been able to talk about how youāre feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything thatās bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. Thereās more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. Please be aware that GPs and support services are not currently offering face-to-face appointments, but will usually be offering telephone or online alternatives.
You deserve care and support so please, Helen, get in touch with one of these services.
If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
Take care,
Hazel
Online Community Team
Iāve been to doctors, they said about seeing someone but thatās not me, Iām happy on here as there are so many people going though what Iām going though, and hopefully can help each other though this terrible time, Iām back at work which seems to help, but once I leave work thatās when it all starts again, sometimes I drive to work and just feel like driving and driving just to get away from everything love and hugs to everyone x
Hi Helen2,
We are aÄŗl here and we all know exactly what you are going through. I have found a little bit of extra help eg councelling never goes a miss. It is hard talking to people that you donot know and donot know you, but on some ways that is helpful. You can say what you really feel .We all put on this face in front of our families, because we donot want to upset them. We are all here.
Hi Helen
I have counselling but to be honest, donāt feel that I get anything from it. It just isnāt me and losing a child is so huge that I donāt feel that there is anything they can do that can really help. Nothing against my counsellor who is lovely. I feel exactly like you. The pain is unbearable and I stay for my other two children, I couldnāt inflict more misery on them after the loss of their adored little brother. So I guess we just carry onā¦Sending hugs x
I donāt go to counselling as I wouldnāt feel they would understand the pain I am in and anyone else are in, as only people that are going though what we are , understands the pain and hurt we are all going though, canāt even look at pictures, he died November , Christmas I usually have all my children round, I just didnāt want it ,would have been heās birthday January , it was just awful, yeah people may think Iām ok on outside, but inside itās killing me, itās so good to talk to people that are going though the same I am, and understand the pain all and each of us are going thought, love and hugs to all Helen x