14 weeks in

Thank you Abdullah for letting me know that . Yes its Sertraline . Let’s face it though , no amount of drugs can take our pain away . Everyone on this group are so nice and kind .I. so pleased I have found you all . Xxx

You’re absolutely correct, no amount of medications will ever cure our grief. That will always be with us. We can only hope that things like anti-depressants, if given to us, can help us manage to cope in our day to day lives, and I really hope you are soon able to feel a bit better within a few months.

I’m sorry if I keep repeating myself. I’m just in a broken mess.

No one should ever have to be sorry for repeating themselves about their grief, you have to do what you have to do, if it means repeating yourself daily, then that’s what you should do and no one has the right to think you’re going on about it because you’re not at all.

Well said . . Spot on x

Thanks. I just noticed I had repeated myself. Can’t even think properly. Just a day being heartbroken and feeling I’m in a very deep dark hole

We all are Jay . It’s a nightmare pet . I’d quite gladly go to bed and never wake up . At least I would be out of this heinous pain . I’m encouraged on a daily basis that I have reason to keep going . Everyone except myself can see that apparently. Xxx

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Hi Lesley, know how you feel about going to sleep and not waking up. On bad days I feel the same, so lonely and hopeless… I recognise that desperate stage you mentioned, it’s 12 weeks since Malcolm died and it seems to be getting worse. Yes we have reasons to be here but our most important reason isn’t here. You need to hold and hug your Gary and I need to do the same, feel Malcolm’s arms around me. Went out for the first time last night, to a restaurant as it was Malcolm’s birthday. Surrounded by family and tried to be happy and enjoy it but so drained afterwards. And then coming home to an empty house and not having him to snuggle up to in bed and talk about our evening. It’s hell isn’t it but we must keep struggling on. Good for us to share these feelings, hope it helps you. Big hugtx

Thank you Jane for your kind words . I can feel your pain terribly . You were with Malcolm for a long time . He is with you in spirit at home . Talk to him all day long. Your correct about the hugs . I would give anything for Gary’s strong arms around me . I dont know if this would help you Jane and all readers but my sister took a couple of photos of Gary and had a scatter cushion made for me .I cuddle that cushion . It’s the best present I’ve ever had . I take it to bed with me , in the car and when I’m sitting trying to watch tv I hold my Gary . His face looking at me is invaluable . Xxxxx

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Absolutely Abdullah. We should never try and suppress emotions. It’s about the worse thing we can do. Emotions are safety valves for stress. They may not make us feel better, they they do relieve tension. And of course there is no cure for grief. Medication can be helpful in the short term. It helps us calm down a little and maybe take stock of what is going on. SSRI’s do take time to work and it can be some weeks. Many give up after a week or two because they see no results, but your GP has probably explained that, or should have done.
And we are all glad you are here Lesley. There is nowhere else you will find such kind and understanding people. We are all in this boat that none of us want to be in, but the comfort and support we give each other is so important. Take care everyone. John.

What a lovely idea! I have his shirt and sweater all bundled up in a ball that I’ve been taking to bed, can’t bear to wash them!! Will look into the cushion though, would really like that. Hope you are ok today xxxx

Bjane, I had two cushions and a teddy bear made with some of my husband’s clothes. They are lovely to cuddle and give me nice memories of when he wore the items :heart: A friend also had a cushion made for me the same as Lesley has with a photo of us both on it, I can’t move for cushions but I love them :heart_eyes: x


hi Vic
sorry your thread appears to be drifting ,well i say drifting ,why its gone off road.
hope you are getting a few bits of comfort between the differing topics.got say Mrscolts
idea of getting a bear made out of your husbands clothes may give you a little comfort.
any way hope you are finding your own ways of coping.

Thank you Mrs Colt, I used to love sewing, knitting, making things but sort of lost interest really, brevet seemed to have time,Malcolm was type one diabetic and I now realise how little time I had to my self when I wasn’t worrying or sorting things out one way or another. Will try and get back into that and make something lovely with some clothes.Thank you for inspiring me! Sending love x

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Hi Mrscolt, that sounds a great idea , making cushions and teddy bears from our loved ones clothes . Im going to be knee deep in cushions etc .:heart::heart:


Hi Lesley I hope your okay as can be Mrs Colt sent ne a link yesterday to have teddy’s or cushions made in out of loved ones shirts etc and we can have a voice recording of there voice in if you have one im sure she will send the link im not sure how to I already been in contact with the lady who makes them she’s lovely and you will see the bears and cushions on her page beautiful very bittersweet look after yourself x

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Ah thanks pet . That sound great . I would love to hear my loves voice . I’m gona look right into this Ade xxxxxx

No bother hun ask Mrs Colt to send you the link I spoke to the lady today she’s so kind and when you see the page you will see the bears and cushions so professional and personal very bittersweet look after yourself xx

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I’ve messaged Mrs.Colt to send you the link hun xx