It is 14 weeks since my husband suddenly and unexpectedly passed.
No signs or symptoms, just suddenly gone.
I find it hard to believe it has been that amount of time as it seems not that long ago but also a lifetime.
We had been together for nearly 50 years.
I think my mind is in protective mode at the moment. It may well change during the day.
I know Sundays are bad for many people anyway but as you can understand they are sad days for me.
At the beginning many people would send me messages or visit on a Sunday. I think many of you will understand how few do so now. However, I remember him not just on Sundays but every day.
May I tell you just a little bit about him.
He was a very kind man.
A very patient and totally laid back person.
He was funny and enjoyed a good laugh with others.
He was intelligent but did not brag about it as he was very modest.
He loved our garden and animals.
He hated modern technology.
He was very disorganised and untidy.
He was forgetful, always was.
He was wonderful.
Thank you for letting me share my husband with you.
He sounds a lovely man Rose.I hope your day goes okay. I go full weekends without seeing anyone it feels lonely sometimes but other times I quite enjoy it,people do message me through the day though which keep me going .
I actually cried at the words “let me tell you something about him “ my husband died 8 weeks ago suddenly heart attack I was there . I had two previous failed marriages and my second husband who was the father of my son was abusive to me , he was found dead in his flat age 56 on the 20th January , (not that it was a loss for me , still my sons Father ) then 3 months later my lovely husband died , he was 9 years older than me age 65, adopted at birth we found out he was the youngest child of 7! Only one to be given up! He worked as a stone mason , then job coaching adults with learning difficulties into paid employment, he was working right until he died , he was going to retire next year ! He didn’t like fuss or attention , but loved to shop and spend , loved plants and gardening we went to Chelsea flower show last year, he use to buy me flowers all the time , we had a 20years engagement then in lockdown spending 24 hours together we loved it , and we decided to elope to Gretna Green , we got married on 27/9/22 he was my 3rd time my lucky , mr perfect he taught me the meaning of unconditional love
It seems to me that we are all missing such wonderful partners.
Mine was a quiet private man who liked a pint and a bet. But also liked to make things, grow things and help people. He liked walking. And he loved our holidays in Cornwall or Devon
He liked a good wind up and even after 42 years I couldnt be sure if he was joking or not.
He could be grumpy but he would do anything for me.
We weren’t perfect we used to row, especially in the early days, but we always made up.
I’m 10 weeks on. My husband has been ill since November and he was in hospital and died in hospital. But we truly believe that he was coming home and it was a terrible shock the morning that he died.
Today would’ve been his 60th birthday. He wouldn’t have wanted to us but we would’ve made one anyway. He loved being a host but didn’t like it when it was in his own stead.
He had been in an abusive relationship before we met. And we only had seven years together, but his friends said they had never seen him so happy and I cling to that.
He was the first person I met who truly enjoyed all types of music the same as I did. It didn’t matter whether it was rock, folk or classical he loved it all.
He was a workaholic which drove me crazy. He left coins and astronomy And historical things.
We travel the world together in our short time and walked miles and miles and Miles round cities.
He had this special laugh, which was a sort of chuckle.
I hope your day has been okay.I have a lot of roses flowering in my garden they are beautiful old fashioned ones very fragrant.However a couple of weeks ago I felt like ripping them all out which would have been very silly.His funeral was last June after a very sudden death in the garden.I had his coffin covered with the roses from my garden they looked absolutely stunning and very poignant considering the circumstances of his death.When they started blooming this year they really upset me but now after a few weeks I’m loving them and cutting some for the house I tell him they are for him.
Rosegarden im so sorry to hear of your loss. I also am 14 weeks fown the line now for my mum dying suddendly and unexpectedly. Its so hard, and like you i find weekends particularly difficult as when i have down time i would visit her, now i just feel sad that i cant
Old fashioned roses are lovely. We have put old fashioned roses in a border and some in pots.
I have been looking at them and thinking how he loved seeing them in blossom. It sounds like your partner was a fan As well
It is so sad that they aren’t here to see how lovely they look…
Lovely to hear about all the good things we remember about our lost one.
Almost 13 weeks for me - getting harder each day as the numbness seems to have melted away - leaving me completely lost and overwhelmed.
Thank you, I wanted to share the lovely traits he had.
I had a really, really bad dip and I think my mind went into protective or even survival mode. I think that is the reason for a few times of feeling numb.
I won’t lie whilst I feel a bit out of it at ‘numb’ times it is good to have a break from the pain from time to time. They are not happening so often now.
So reality is slapping me in the face especially at weekends. I think that is part of the reason I wrote about him.
Although it certainly does not feel like it, I think we are all doing the best we can!
That is all we can do. So I say well done everyone on here!!!
I hope that doesn’t sound patronising.
I am trying to be very positive today!!!
I agree, just when you seem to be coping it jumps up and slaps you in the face.
Then come the dips.
I had a lot of big dips last week and I’m going to try my hardest to get up this week.
But who knows, this grief journey is so unpredictable
At the moment I feel qiute positive, I just hope it will last.
Those ups and downs ertaimkynkeep coming don’t they.
I feel like I’m much more down at the moment and the tears come at the drop of a hat where as few weeks ago I could hold it all together much easier.
I don’t like the numb times but you’re right Rose it does give you a bit of a break from the heart wrenching pain.
Could do with a bit of that today but I seem to have no control over my emotions from day to day and that can make life very difficult.
Thanks for the well done - you’re right we are all doing as good as we can - it’s nice for someone to say it to us though as I don’t get much of that.
Love and strength to all.
Xxx
x
