14 weeks


My sister in law sent me this.
I believe it was written by Margaret Mead

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@RoseGarden

Love this :heart:

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It’s beautiful isn’t it :heart::heart:xx

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Its one of the most beautiful verses I’ve read.
I’m going to type it out and frame it and keep it by Rogers photo in our bedroom.

Thankyou for sharing it Rose x x

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I think I will put it somewhere in the house.

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What a beautiful poem.
Just sums it up really doesn’t it.

One of my favourites is Afterparty by Becky Hemsley. When I was feeling particularly lost this poem made me realise why I was feeling so bad, and reminded me of the love me and my husband shared. Some things just really resonate. Xx

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I’ve just read that poem. Its lovely
Then I read a lot more by her.
They are all lovely

So poignant so true

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Glad you like her work. It usually makes me cry but in a positive way - if that makes any sense ? Xx

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I lost my husband last August on the 17 June it will be a year since he was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. He survived 47 days.

He was a high school teacher, a wonderful father and my soul mate.
He was quiet, calm and unorganised he was such a great big presence in our family.
I also miss him Sundays as it was our day! He also cooked dinner.
I’m numb waiting for the reality he isn’t coming home to actually sink in.
I’ve cried however I don’t understand how I still get through the days. I stepped in as the support for my family and don’t feel it’s my time to crumble.
As night turns to day from yet another sleepless night, I wonder no worry is it my turn to crumble.
I used to think grief hit you once the person you loved died. Oh I cried until I ran out of tears yet still I’m waiting for something else, I’m even questioning that I didn’t love him enough as I’m not behaving how I imagined someone should.

It’s so incredibly sad at how many of us are actually in the same position.
Thank you all for being brave & sharing your experiences, it really helps to know I’m not alone in this horrible widow club. My hubby was 61 with lots of future plans now crumbled to dust. Xx

Hi @LadyJ0
It sounds like you have been being really strong for your family and it’s so good to hear they are supporting you.
Everyone’s grief is different and there is no right or wrong way - just what works for you, or what your mind allows you to feel sometimes in order to protect yourself.
At the beginning and all through my husbands short fight with cancer I just went into survival mode and had to keep going. Then I felt nothing for quite some time. I also questioned if I loved him as much as I thought.
But now 3 months in I am finding that my world is crumbling around me and I have no space in my head for anything other than him and my grief.
Make sure you are looking after yourself and keep posting on here - we are all in the same situation and struggling with it all but I find it helps to know you are not alone

Sending hugs xx

Perfect sense :ok_hand: x

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Hi @LadyJ0

I’m so sorry to hear of your struggle
There really is no right or wrong way to grieve.
We are all different but we’re all going through this together and getting through in whatever way seems best for us.
I’m 15 weeks in and now I have good days and bad days. Probably more bad than good but its early days yet. And although I know I’ve really not accepted that he won’t be coming back

Im so sorry, my finger caught the wrong button!!

I just wanted to say, that whatever way you grieve is fine. It doesn’t mean you loved him less. You loved him and you’ve lost him. Now you have to grieve your way.
Please keep posting on here. We’re all in the same boat, we all understand, and you will come to realise we all deal with it differently

Sending big hugs x

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So very sorry.

I agree with @Liro and @roni52 there is no right way to grieve.
There is what works for you, what helps you get through each day.

Feel free to express how you feel on here. Everyone understands and supports each other.

Try to be kind to yourself .

Big hug,

Rose xx

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Tonight a memory came back to me.
I don’t know why.

It was not a memory of an event but a feeling.

I remembered how I felt when I was with my husband, how it felt to be part of a couple.
How loved, how complete, how safe I felt.

I could actually feel how I felt just for a fleeting moment.

How different it was. How I long to be back with him and feel like that once more.

I thought memories of what we did, special moments would come back.

I was not expecting feelings to flood back.
It has really hit home, another loss.
There are so many losses that are part of bereavement and grieving.

Of course I can’t stop crying. This has really brought me down.
I think I am on the downward slide of the rollercoaster.

Thank you for letting me share this.

Take care everyone,

Rose xx

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Please accept my apologies if I have upset anyone.

Rose xx

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Oh rose I don’t think you have upset anyone.
This is a place you can just say what you think and what you are feeling and not be judged.
For many, including me, it’s the only place you can be truly honest about how things are for you in your grief.
Some of my friends try so hard but I know it is hard to listen and see my grief so I don’t overburden them. And they don’t really understand.
I hope your downward slide on the rollercoaster doesn’t last too long. You’re doing great even if you don’t feel it. You are sharing your honest feelings here and supporting all this community with your kind words and your love and hugs.
Keep going - remembering the good things isn’t always a bad thing. And those feelings are just the emotional memories that made us feel safe and secure - something I don’t feel at the moment
Hope you get some sleep and your rollercoaster starts curving up for tomorrow.
Big hug coming your way xx

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Coming up to 9 weeks for me since that sudden loss of my hubby , since I was 16 I have always had a partner , my first two husbands crap marriage both of them but with the ending of each marriage I had someone else straight after , this is different was with Nick nearly 24 years but we only had 17 months of marriage, I thought it would be forever , the thought of anyone else sickened me! If I can not have Nick then it’s no one else ! It’s a strange feeling that for 40 years I have always had a partner , and now for the next 30/40 years I won’t , that being “couple “ feeling I will never have again , I love that couple feeling , but no I won’t have it again because it won’t be the man I love , I could never love anyone like I did Nick and I don’t want I replacement x

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@RoseGarden

Bless you. Hopefully in time when you have such memories and feelings it’ll be more like a warm hug and make you smile.

Hate this for all of us, it’s such a surreal time. :heart:

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So sorry @Jane15 .

This is so very difficult isn’t it.

We were together for nearly 50 years and he will always be the love of my life.
We were meant to be together.
Like you, there will never be anyone else like him, who will love, support and understand me like him.

I don’t know where all that came from yesterday.

Today is a new day, so going to really try to be positive.

Sendings you love and hugs,

Rose xx

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