This is common in the early stages. I understand completely how you feel I am 9 weeks in and it feels like it is getting worse but I keep plodding on in the hope that this unbearable pains eases. Please seek help if you feel you need it. Maybe speak with your GP if you can. Take care of yourself
1 Like
Totally agree. 18 weeks since my partner passed. Baby steps. But itās like an exclusive club which you wish you wasnāt a member. But itās so lonely because everyone thinks you should be over it by now
2 Likes
Yeah they do. I got 8 weeks support from family and friends and now they expect me to be okay. Thatās not even 2 months on a journey I can see taking 2 years at least!
1 Like
So sorry to read that you are going through all this on top of the loss of your dear wife. Please give yourself time ā¦
I donāt know your age, but my son was widowed recently and he has joined an online community called Widowed and Young. It has weekly Zoom sessions and occasional meetups. He has found it useful to connect with people going through similar processes. I believe itās for under 50ās.
Wishing you strength.
2 Likes
Just missed the under 50s. I am 52 my wife was 49 
2 Likes
Ah, I see. I wonder if thereās anything similar you can joinā¦my son has found it helpful. But I know everyone is different.
1 Like
Hi, there is a forum called Way up. Way stands for widowed and young. Way up is primarily for people who have lost spouses in their 50s and 60s
2 Likes
This looks good but it asks for a lot of personal details Iām not comfortable with. Not sure why the level of detail is required. Think Iāll stick with this site.
1 Like
Yes that is true. It is because they are very strict with who joins. I tend to use this site more, but I know of people who do go on there, and they swear by it, go on holidays together, days out etc. . It depends on what you are looking for I guess xxx
2 Likes
Aghhhh having an awful day
1 Like
Sorry to hear that. Iāve had a couple of bad days, so I forced myself to go shopping for some clothes to wear on a holiday to Snowdon in June.
It was costly, but well worth it, I cried driving back home, but not as bad as I have been doing.
Then I did some gardening and just started cooking lasagne for tea. Ok, itās only a ready meal, but I feel as I have achieved something today.
You take care
1 Like
Thank you John
1 Like
@Johnr
Clothes shopping for your holidaysā¦.a few weeks ago you wouldnāt have thought you could possibly go shopping, let alone a holiday shop but youāve been n done itā¦
Thatās a helluva move forward.
Even though there were tears you managed it and thatās brilliantā¦
I have had two tearless days and even though I know there will be tears at some point I seem to feel more positiveā¦
Pat on the back for both of us I think.
2 Likes
Yes we both deserve a pat on the back.
My day started badly as I was going to a Rohan shop I had visited many years ago.
It was in Milton Keynes, but I didnāt check the address. The shop was still in Milton Keynes postcode area, but had moved to the High Street in Stony Stratford.
I started to wonder when the satnav started sending me down some small country roads. I eventually had to stop and ring the shop to ask where they were. As soon as they said the High Street in Stony Stratford, i said oh b*gger!!
I could have easily found it if I had only checked, rather than follow the satnav. I found out from the shop staff that they had relocated a few years back.
So with doing some gardening and cooking lasagne as well, I feel as if Iāve got a lot done.
Mind, I think Jackie would have moaned at me for having a full tin of beans with lasagne. 
I do have to put on weight, the doctor told me, so thatās my excuse
Even though I cried on the way home, they were happy tears.
You look after yourself 
2 Likes
I knew it was too good today.
Just burst into tears when removing my wife from my contacts.
I had left her on but I just accidentally phoned her number and it came back as not recognised.
As she was on a monthly contract we cancelled when it ran out.
Itās the little things that get you
3 Likes
Well after 9 weeks I have caved and got myself a doctors appointment. Hopefully they can give me something before my heart explodes in my chest. For over 2 months I feel like I am having a constant heart attack. The knot in my stomach is unbearable too. I have stopped eating and showering now
2 Likes
Grieving,
I know itās hard on your own and trust me i have done the not eating a few times. Yet someone or something keeps us going. So please look after yourself.
2 Likes
I know how you feel. I have noticed that people no longer contact me asking how i been even though its been over a year. I have my close family to keep me going they are the only people who contact me a
On a daily basis. How i see it is if i donāt hear from them Iām not going out of my way to contact them. They knew what i went through and i havenāt heard from anybody. During the past year.
1 Like
It hurts doesnāt it not hearing from people. Why do they not realise you never get over losing your soulmate. Iām ten weeks in and just I my new life without him
1 Like
Should say I hate my new life without him
1 Like