I’m close to 4 months since my husband unexpectedly passed away. I have found the 3 to 4 month time frame to be the toughest. I seem to cry more and seem to be more depressed. Has anyone else felt this way?
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Marla56
It’s be 5 months soon . Each one of those days have been a slog . I cry a lot . I think the enormity of the reality floods in at this point in time . Life without our husbands . 42 yrs he was 58yrs old
I’m sad inside myself all the time Marla 56
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I’m so sorry you’re loss. I believe you’re right the shock wears off and reality hits us. I wish he would walk through the front door and this nightmare would be over. I guess we have to stay strong. Hugs to you
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I wish that to . They would be there waiting for us and our house becomes a home again.
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I tried to go out lastnight with my girlfriend. What was the hardest thing for me is when I got home. In the past he would be waiting for me and asking me what the new gossip was for the evening. We would both laugh. My heart is broken.
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Marla56
My husband used to always wait up for me and chat after I’d been out with friends.
Now no one . No one would be interested.
We miss so many things don’t we . It twists me up.
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It is so strange that the real thing I miss is the night time when we used to sit together with the dogs and do nothing, doing nothing together was just so nice , now sit with the dogs and feel so low
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Glyn so sorry for your loss. I also miss the evenings with my spouse. It’s a lonely journey we are all on.
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With family today and hard work , struggling with the grandkids and thinking of what Sue will miss out on in the future but trying not to let them see the struggles
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4 month next week for me, I can’t actually believe where these 4 months have gone and how I’ve got this far! Was upset earlier thinking how has it been that long since I seen his face or heard his voice 
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Time just seems to have gone and still in this bubble of not believing not processing and overthinking everything especially today as heard another grandchild on the way , she will not see her new grandchild makes me so sad with the thought of that x
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I still have a hard time believing I will never see my John again. Our dog Stanley still goes to the window at 5 o’clock waiting for John to come home. I tell him daddy isn’t coming home and I start to cry.
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It’s so sad when we think what they’re missing out on, especially grandkids 
I miss having a dog, they’re great company and so intelligent, 
will be wondering where he is the light nights made me cry earlier and the sun shining, they’ll never see it again, I hate this new life were forced to live!
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@Ang5
I also hate the new life I’ve been left with. It’s 5 months for me next week since i lost my Wife of 31 years to Cancer. I completely understand what you mean, i can’t believe that it’s that long since i last heard her voice or we told each other " I Love You ", i have no other Family other than our Son & Daughter who live a fair bit away from me but we try to see each other at weekends & Bank Holiday’s like this weekend, other than that i spend the majority of time alone other than when I’m at work. My life is now one long cycle of sadness and loneliness.
I am finding the loneliness element really difficult to cope with, we spent all our time together even working at the same place for years, we saw each other throughout the day & we especially looked forward to evenings together.
It has taken me a while to process & reluctantly accept that I’ll never see my beloved Anna again or hear her voice, i remember somebody once asking me a few years back was i frightened of dying, back then i think my answer was that i wasn’t sure as I’d never really thought about it, although having given it some thought afterwards i came to the conclusion that i probably was. Since my Anna passed away i have now come to realise that I’m no longer frightened of departing this world as it means we will be able to be together again for all eternity.
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So sorry you lost your wife, I sometimes feel silly cos I was only with my mick for just under 4yr, I’ve known him over 20yr though, and we never lived together, although I stayed at his plenty. I can’t imagine how it must feel losing someone you’ve lived with for over 30hr and more it’s so sad, Saturdays were my favourite day, I loved staying at his, we would get food and drinks and watch films, so was chilled and nice after stressful weeks at work! The loneliness is definitely the worst part! Sometimes I go over our old texts and panic sets in cos we will never text again, I keep looking at his pics thinking why! Only 42! Cancer is a terrible disease, robs far too many people, just don’t know how we’re meant to carry on and people just assume we’re ok but we’re not!! I’ve stopped answering people who ask if I’m ok or I give them a firm NO!! They normally don’t know what to say after that!! I know it’s not their fault but sometimes I’m so angry!!! That I’m alone and they’re out enjoying life with their other half’s and I’ve got nobody!! I’ve got my son who’s 19 but he’s got his own life too, 
Ang5
I miss my husbands face his smile his voice so many things about him. I am 6 months into my loss. To never see or him again destroyes me.
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@Ang5
So sorry for your loss also. It doesn’t matter that you were only with Mick for just under 4 years, the amount of time you were in a relationship is irrelevant, you were still a couple & your grief is the same as the rest of us in this group, raw & painful beyond measure.
Sundays were our chill day, we’d sometimes go over & visit our Son & our Grandchildren in the morning then home for Sunday roast dinner & a good film in the early evening. My Anna was a huge fan of the BBC series Call the Midwife & for years since it began we watched it together of a Sunday evening. There has recently been a new series on the BBC but i can’t bring myself to watch it, not without her, it would break my heart.
42 is no age at all to lose your Loved one, my Anna was 51. We had it all mapped out, what we were going to do & where we were going to go when we’d retired from work, then everything goes in the shitter when that first diagnosis comes. She was adamant right from the start that all her problems started from Covid Vaccinations, she wouldn’t hear any different. She put this theory to her consultant but could never get a reply from him, that spoke volumes.
I don’t really have much in the way of interaction from people now tbh, only when I’m at work. I have been guilty of being out & about & seeing others with their Wives & Girlfriends & having that anger arise within me, " Why my Wife ? " " Why not someone else’s " which might sound bad but it’s just part of the grief process, questioning " Why " it had to be us, something we’ll unfortunately never get the answer to. My Son & Daughter have their own lives to live also but have been absolute rocks to me since their Mom passed, they’re all i have left now along with my Grandchildren & i do my utmost to see them as often as I can.
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@wilderness its vile isn’t it and we only have pics and Memories, I keep looking at micks photos scrutinising his face, looking for signs of things, how did I miss things, @VillaBoy22 a lot of people mention about the vaccines, my mick had long covid, apparently his constant fatigue was that but now looking back, was it this mystery heart problem what caused the fatigue! He had left ventricular hypertrophy which I found out from post mortem, so I’m angry his symptoms were fobbed off as long covid now, looking back, hindsight is a not so wonderful thing!! He has a son who had just turned 11, the day before I found mick, how heartbreaking he won’t see his son grow
Up and his son lost his dad!! All these horrible things and I see people
Who don’t care about their kids and they’re still walking about! I sound so bitter at the minute!!! It’s so upsetting how we can’t watch their programmes or listen to their songs, I’m assuming in time we will be able too, but not yet, mick
Loved the chase, I can’t bare to see it anymore! I purposely turn the tv over into BBC1 if I’m home before 5pm so
I can’t hear the music of the chase starting!
@Ang5
Both of my Anna’s parents & her two brothers basically turned their backs on her when they found out that she was ill, I’ve been left with such immense anger over the way they treated her that it was all i could think of everyday.
I’ve been to some grief counselling sessions over the past couple of months that have helped me a little to deal with my anger but I’ll never forgive them for how they treated her, having to watch the disappointment on her face every time she heard footsteps coming along the hospital ward hoping it was them coming to see her only to be let down, it will be etched in my memory forever. They know how angry i am as they have avoided all contact with me since her Funeral at the end of November last year. Best for them all that they took that decision as i don’t think i could keep a civil tongue if i laid eyes on any of them, the only reason I’ve not said anything to them previously is that my Anna made me promise her that i wouldn’t. All i can hope is that Karma will play a part somewhere in the future.
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