4 Weeks since my Husband suddenly died very unexpectedly

You will feel completely displaced and shocked for sometime. This is shocking. No words will be adequate. You just have to navigate each day as best you can. I am sending lots of love and hugs. x x

4 Likes

Hi. I’m so, so sorry for how you are feeling right now. All of us here have felt/feel the same. It is a shock. At some point acceptance will hopefully kick in for you but it’s very early days. This for me was the hardest part accepting my Kev wasn’t here anymore in body. I’m 18 months on and my life has moved forward slightly to the point I can smile again some days and it’s genuine (I fake smiled for a long time). I had some counselling with Sue Ryder and it was the best things I could have done. I opened up and let it all out, I found it difficult to open up completely to our daughters and close families/friends. We are all here for you. I also had a period where I just wanted to be with my Kev. I talk to him everyday which gives me comfort now. Love never dies but this is the cruel reality of it. Your love will never die and one day I like to believe Kev will be waiting for me. I was lucky to have had my Kev as long as I did. This is the only way I’m getting through this horrible nightmare of grief. You take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself (I didn’t really understand this phrase before but unfortunately I do now) xx

5 Likes

Thanks Joules1950,

I like your phrase that you were lucky to have your Kev for as long as you did. I need to think more like that about my Sally, but I do become envious of our friends who all have their partners still whereas I have lost my beautiful Sally never to return. Selfish I know but I can’t hide that fact to myself.
Thanks again

6 Likes

I was the same. Just wanted to lock my door and be in my own world with the unbearable grief that was a physical pain. Counselling did help me a lot. Giving me coping ideas. One was writing a grief diary. This. gets it out of your head. When I look at it now over 3 years on I realise how far I have come. Now I only write in it in spasms where before it was almost hourly. I’m still nowhere near healed and I dont think I ever will be. But life goes on relentlessly and I try to keep strong for our boys and their families. I don’t want them to think I’m a whinging old crone

2 Likes

Sorry for your loss, I lost my wife at 56, just over a year ago, the nightmare started and I am still in it. But slowly very slowly things start to get a bit better. I still miss here every day and end up in tears at least once a week it was several times per hour at the start.
Look after yourself and keep on hear counceling didn’t do it for me but you can come on here and vent your feelings. And you alway get a response.

Steve

3 Likes

My husband died 4 weeks ago. He had a massive stroke couldn’t speak or swallow but was awake staring. I sat by his bedside for 6 weeks 10 hours a day then they put him on end of life and I watched him die. My life is over. I’m so lonely we spent every minute together for 48 years

2 Likes

@Maz9

I’m so very sorry for your recent loss.
It’s so extremely raw for you at this time.
You are not alone on here. People always respond and try and cheer each other as much as we can because we all understand exactly what you are going through.
Unfortunately we can’t be there in person together to help with the actual loneliness.
I lost my partner in March last year suddenly and the first few months were horrendous but I have good days as well now so hopefully you will too.
Ask your family and friends for help because they won’t fully comprehend what you are going through until unfortunately it happens to them.
Keep posting on here it will help you..
Sending love :heart:

1 Like

I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your husband in this devastating way.

Although grief is different for each of us, everyone here has an understanding of what you are going through and wants to offer any support they can.

Keep posting whenever you feel like and share whatever you want. Although it feels so lonely, you are not alone. Xxx

I’m so sorry, I understand what you’re going through. My partner died suddenly 3 and a half months ago. You’re still very early in your grief. Everyone here understands in a way that friends and family can’t, if they haven’t been down this path. Look after yourself and do what’s right for you. It’s a difficult journey full of sadness.

1 Like

So so sorry for your loss. It’s the worse type of pain imaginable.

1 Like

I can’t stop crying. I don’t want a life without him. He is my everything

2 Likes

It is such a difficult time and feeling like life has no meaning any more is ā€˜normal’ - grief however is different for us all. I don’t know if this will help. The total displacement and sudden change to life is very overwhelming and whilst I would never assume to know how you feel, I can connect to your feeling that life has lost its direction and purpose. You just need to try and navigate one day at a time. There are no rules to how you are meant to feel or what you do. Sending love and hugs x x

Maz9 just wondering how you are at the moment? Sending love x

I know exactly how you must feel.

My husband died in November after 54 years. I am lost cannot stop crying anxiety is awful. Even having a shower takes me all my effort to move. Friends who have been in that same place tell me it will get better on time. Ag the moment I cannot see that. sending you big hugs and love and me sympathy for your lose. :broken_heart:

I understand your feelings and although it’s awful it’s normal to feel like that. Grief is a relentless monster. It’s almost 5 months since my partner died suddenly. We’re both early on in our grief. I have to will myself to shower, wash my hair etc. No interest in clothes, just throw on what’s lying on the chair, can’t be bothered with make-up etc. I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’m still crying most days. Mornings are really bad. We can only take one day at a time. I hope as time passes we can find some peace.

8 weeks today since I lost my man and the pain doesn’t get better. I feel out of control of my life

3 Likes

Hugs. Words are not really adequate. Take it one day at a time and just know you are not alone and what you feel is ā€˜normal’ whatever that is. Lots of love x

1 Like

Nearly 10 weeks now and it feels worse if that’s possible. The loneliness is awful. I’ve never lived alone and even imagine the rest of my life without him. Saw someone today at health and well being and going back next week hopefully she can help me cope

1 Like

Glad you can see someone.

It is Very early days so just have micro goals. You are probably ā€˜coping’ better than you realise. Just being on here is reaching out. Take care and lots of love x

It’s coming up to 4 months since my husband passed away. I was absolutely devastated and still am, my heart is broken.
Now that all paperwork / legal documents sorted I’m finding it even harder that he’s no longer here.
Each day is difficult, my initial positivity and motivation has taken a significant dip.
Just so lost at the moment as reality has hit, I’ve lost the love of my life. No going back :cry:
I’m hoping I will begin to weather this new big wave in this awful grief storm.
Early days I’m told.
I know we are all facing this horrible horrible time guess I was just thinking out loud.
:broken_heart::heart:

2 Likes