I found it really hard to find things for people in their 50s who have lost a partner. There’s a range of other things that we are all coping with at this age and I think maybe we could be very supportive to each other.
Like children away at university and the loneliness that happens after that, like ageing parents who we have to look after, for many dealing with the loss of decades of happy marriage, dealing with the fact that the person we loved died too soon.
Going to work and coping with grief at the same time. Lack of understanding in the workplace or amongst friends of a similar age.
Just thought it might be a nice way to support each other because I was told at 54 I was too old for the young widows! And I didn’t fall into any specific category because of the way that my husband died. Sue Ryder has been a real lifeline for me for the last 2 1/2 years so come and talk!
Please add other people and invite them.
Hi, im 58…lost my husband in march, ive got some of what you described, looking after mom on occasion, she has dementia, ..my grown up kids have their own lives…
I had just turned 57, when Sue died. I goto a bereavement coffee morning, but everyone is older then me, and sometimes I find that hard to connect to them. So I find this thread a good idea.
Take care.
Is that terrible loss of future. All the things you dreamed that you would do together when you retired and now they’re gone.
I’m a terrible reevaluating of yourself. Who are you now? Where do you fit in?
Who are you without your partner?
Hi all, I was 55 when my beautiful husband died - it is a very lonley place and the thought of maybe twenty plus years without him filled me with dread . The chats on the Sue Ryder forum have got me through the last 21 months and advice from others on here as no one i know of my age has had to suffer this hell we are going through.
Yes Katy everything you thought you knew all gone- all the plans for the future gone, left making all the decisions alone and trying to navigate all the jobs that two people did before xx
That’s what I think, what does the next 20 some years look like..??
Yes I’m 59 and the 20 plus years just look so bleak 
It most certainly does..
It’s the loneliness too.
The pain of not having that special person to be with. Imagining how you can do that going forward too.
I think I have just been trying to find myself again hidden under all this pain and grief. To work out what Katy likes and not always Katy and Neal.
But I am 2 1/2 years on and I didn’t even consider this till a few months ago- although I did try to put some activity into my life to keep me going after a few months - like joining a Chior.
I’m a week away from 21 months. Today is my 35th wedding anniversary the second one since Sue went ahead. Tomorrow is her birthday.
At the start I was like everyone, they will be no one else, but recently my mind set is changing. I want to hold someone again, but it has to be the right person. Someone who understands this crap path. Someone who I can share a laugh with ( yes we are allowed to laugh). Then I have days where that thought about finding someone disappears. It’s all part of the crap path we are now on.
Take care.
Sending hugs 
, my 35th was spent in the hospital with my husband back in march…he didn’t even know.…
I’m 55. So hello.
Its been 7 weeks since Mandy passed, she didn’t take her health seriously at all and nothing i could say would make her change her mind, even so i didn’t think she’d die so quickly, so out of the blue. She was gone in less than 18 hours. We were together for 19 years. My life is just worse and more difficult, never mind the lonliness or sadness.
@KatyG am 50 years old and became widow 3 weeks ago. I am dreading my future without my husband. So far everyone around me was supportive but I am yet to go back to work, to face the looks of pity on people’s faces, to listen to conversations about husband’s, boyfriends and to pretend I am back to be living normally again.
I asked my work to put the word around to not mention it - if I want to talk about it i can but I cant stand the way people put their heads to one side with the “sad” face, it makes me want to push their head up straight 
tell them if thats what you want - also dont go back too soon - I was able to dip in and out as and when I felt like it - i can access all systems remotely and mostly wfh. I think listening to others I have been very lucky with my employer I have been able to do whatever I wanted whenever I felt up to it - they said they would be guided by me ‘ I realise not everyone is as lucky . Dont be pushed into anything you arent ready for and dont pretend you are ok unless you are - sending you a huge hug i remember those terrible, horrendous, desperate first few months, eat and rest as much as you can - fill in important paperwork and everything else can wait - grief is exhausting