Hi Michael,your right it’s a massive shock to lose our partners being without them is heartbreaking,painful I never thought this was going to happen,miss Steve so much,hard to believe he’s not coming back memories of him are everywhere,
Take care
Christine x
She was a amazing women Michael you must be so proud of her john was a paramedic for 37year lv annie
I so agree with you Christine,I am missing Judith more each day,I am not coping with this at all.My grief is draining me of everything.My future looks very bleak without her as you will be without Steve Much love Michael x
Hi again David,I had to write again as I am having a bit of a cry thinking about Judith and Xmas which she loved so much,It will never be the same again without her.We are getting nearer and nearer to Xmas Day and all I want is for it to be over.Almost 10 weeks now since I lost my beautiful wife and it has changed my world forever.I know you are missing Peter and for that I am trutly sorry.I do not know how to get through this gloom ,I do not think I will ever be happy again unless I can be with her again., Michael x
Hi Michael I know how you miss Judith just like I miss Peter, I don’t want anything to do with Christmas this year I will spend it on my own my cousin asked me to have Christmas dinner with them but I want to be alone in my house where we have lived for over 35 years and yes Michael our lives have changed forever even if the grief does get easier without our loved ones we will just exist and feel emptiness inside,best wishes David
Good afternoon David, quite lonely here today,hate weekends now,they were so different when Judith was here with me.Not had one call from anybody,seems people are already drifting away.They do not still understand how we the bereaved are still feeling over the loss of our loved ones.My Step Daughter does not call me or come over to her Mothers house to see me yet visited a friend in the next road.I am a little miffed.I just wish I was’nt here sometimes.This is such a lonely existence.I am just watching tv until I can go to bed again and shut myself away.This my friend is not living.You must be thinking about Peter all the time. Much love
Yes Michael I think of Peter all day it drives me to despair I can’t get him out of my head. After 39 years together he will always be in my thoughts I’ll never find anyone like him , he was so good to me he was my other now he’s gone half of me has gone and will never come back,regards David
I am distraught today ,with Xmas coming I am so unhappy that Judith is not here with me to share this happy time,but it will not be happy ever again.Nearly 10 weeks and I am no further on with this,in fact it is worse.Sharing my feelings on here does help.So many people suffering so much ,so much pain,so much grief.Why have we been left like this in a living hell. Michael x
Flantheman I totally understand every word you have said and felt every emotion you have mentioned , I’m 15 months on this journey and still feel the same as I did on day one the only difference is the tears don’t flow as often although they do some days .
The loneliness and lack of company is the worst thing and I find it so hard to cope with at times.
I didn’t want to live in the earlier days and had to have support with that and I have got through those feelings now but I still miss my Rob more than any amount of words could ever say .
When I was dealing with the paperwork I found it helped to make notes on things so I could remember where I was with different pieces of paperwork because at that point my head was a shed as I. Sure yours is .
As I has said before it’s the,lack of companionship and the no having anyone to do things with and go places with that I find the hardest .
Take care Karen xxx
I really feel your pain …ive just got off the phone to my bereavement councillor …its good to talk…but its still so lovely afterwards…my daughters are so good and are always here when ever I need them …but its just not the same …that place where stephen sit on the sofa is so empty…just wish I could close my eyes and Christmas would be over 
Me too,Xmas will be awful without Judith ,10 weeks ago she passed away from evil bladder cancer and I will never forget watching her slip away from me that day ,I have never been so low and unhappy.Being alone is not the way it should be.I want to be with her again ,just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Michael x
agree- it is lack of companionship and the deeper love we held for our loved ones that Im missing . the days and nights are long, and drag when there is no conversation in the house- its agony.
I cant now plan to do anything, no one to do it with. I miss walking holding his hand- the simple things bring me to tears.
My husband died suddenly of a heart attack on 22nd September whilst playing football. He was 67. We have a border collie and I find the memories flood back when I walk him as it was something we used to do together. As my husbands was a sudden death we had to have a post mortem and it was 6 weeks before we could have the funeral. I had a sense of dread beforehand and it was upsetting but we made it a celebration of his life. Big hugs Sandra x
I my husband to have post-mortem his funeral was 25th November got post-mortem results Xmas eve very detailed devastating lv anniE
Hi Sandra,just read your post and my thoughts are with you Michael x
Oh I know it is so painful this endless grief ,day after day ,sleepless nights ,trying to eat but not that hungry,so unhappy and so lonely ,do not know how much longer I can keep this up.Nothing much to live for now as loads of you are saying,life without our loved ones is so empty now.I drift from day to day not really knowing what to or where to go.These long dark winter nights do not help either,I go to bed early just to shut myself away from it all.What an exciting life we lead now. Love to you all Michael x
All I can say is it’s just one step in front of the other. It’s early days for you and you’re bound to feel as you do. I have a good friend who was widowed 12 years ago
and she said to me when Alan died that it does get better - it just takes time. We have to believe that. For myself I find trying to keep busy helps and my son has been working from home at my house so I can go out. To add to things my collie has bad separation anxiety and can’t be left, worsened by my husbands passing. x
I have had two separate sessions of councilling today one face to face the other on the phone , it certainly helps talking to someone even though the pain is still there, hope your day has gone quickly Michael and any one else who is suffering,Regards David
Well done to you David,yes I find that it helps to yalk to someone.My day ok but not great,watching tv now and looking to go to bed around 630pm my safety net.Been to a neighbour this afternoon for a while,passed a few hours. It all helps Michael x
What ever makes the day go better Michael and yes bed is my sanctuary I was saying that to the councillors I can’t wait to turn the light off and get some rest from the grief which is there through the day, regards David