It’s nice to be able to as none of my family are musical and although I’m in touch with a lot of my husband’s musical friends, I haven’t been able to bring myself to go to any gigs as yet! I don’t play but LOVE music. It’s what we shared and loved all types but mostly blues and 60s/70s. My husband loved jazz -me, not so much but was willing to listen and appreciate. He played in mostly covers type bands covering most genres. We were lucky enough to go to Memphis and Nashville a few years back as part of an American Speedway and Music tour. Enjoy the music tonight. I’m sure it will bring you some comfort as it usually does in the end.
Meet your mate. I find it doesn’t get any easier. It’s such a struggle on your own. & unless someone has been in the same place people don’t understand how u feel.
Some 1, once said WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES.
My wife’s funeral was today, I feel the same bitter towards yesterday for some reason but don’t know why, I only feel for my during this time, no-one else.
It is such a difficult time and I feel for you. I felt angry at the time of my husband’s funeral in March- now I feel I should have done more to stop hom going into hospital. I thought I was doing the right thing but who knows? We all feel recriminations when we love someone so dearly and just want them with us.I hope your pain eases soon and you have good friends around you.
Oh JlovesR, you have said everything I feel. I feel lonely at home but I don’t really want company, I just want my husband here. The emptiness without him is truly awful. And I f do not want to leave the house to go anywhere, I feel happier staying home crying. I do know how ridiculous thst sounds. I feel like I’m nobody without him. He was everything to me.
Love to you all x
I’m like that after nearly 5 years, u get Yr good days, then bang u can’t stop crying,
we can’t help it, it just comes over us. It’s very well people saying u need 2 get out more, I get out with friend’s & 1 got a very good niece, but they got their own life’s.
& I don’t want 2 sit in a pub or restaurant on my own.
So we have no choice but 2 sit @ home with our memories.
Yes, life is very difficult at times! I lost my husband in February and find people are now getting on with their lives while mine seems to have frozen from the one I had. I go out, meet friends, meet family but nothing is the same. That special someone who understood me totally is missing. It’s a very lonely life now
I’m so sorry cabin. Its bloody awful for all of us. It’s the anniversary of her passing next month. Can’t believe a year could go so quick. After the initial shock and pain I thought I was coming to terms with it and even advised people on here that it did get a little easier but lately it seems to be hitting me hard all over again. It’s not just the pain of losing her its the loneliness. I’ve never lived on my own before and although I’m very close to her brother and his family, who I see and am in contact with quite regularly, and a close friend who I see once a week most of the time I’m on my own. I’m retired so a lot of time on my hands and nobody really now to share it with. I have joined a local history group and looked at other things to pass the days but most of the time I just watch the tv and of course that leaves a great amount of time to think which probably isn’t the best thing to do. Sorry didn’t mean to go on this long. My thoughts are with you. Peter.
Peterj it was the second time around for us too ! But been together 20 years and lost her a year ago .like you I thought it was getting easier until last week
I think so Peter . It started to build with me a few weeks before .we placed a lovely garlan in her grave olast Friday but I have been so upset ever since.she was only 61 and caught covid, within 2 weeks she was gone ,and was perfectly fine before that .
My Jo was diagnosed with cancer in Nov 2020. She had an horrendous year of treatment and died last Oct. She was 65. Watching her suffer, lose weight and fade away broke my heart and continues to do so. I always thought she’d be cured and recover but she didn’t. God bless us all for what we’re going through.
Peter I think that the months afterwards,we are in "autopilot " doind what needs to be done ,funerals etc.
It’s only a lot later that your brain starts to process the loss .
For me I know it’s illogical but you start to regard her as just gone away !!. And then at some level inside your brain you hope she might return .
Upto a few weeks ago I never ever dreamt of my wife , but recently I have , .I dreamt she just walked in the door smiling at me and saying “,don’t cry …everything is ok.”
Another time we were together at different times and she got younger each time .
I had a very strang e thing happen a week after her funeral .I was driving along the same route her funeral car took , it was a lovely smooth road , yet twice the passenger Hester litbup like the temperature control had been turned up !
It never happened before and didn’t since , so I view it as a sign from her .
