I’m so sorry for your loss and that you couldn’t be with him. I really think that should have been different and people should have got the choice to be with their loved ones passing this took a lot for them. My heart goes out to you. 
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Star 64. I’m so sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you to. Thank you for your kind words. X
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@jen, that must have been awful not being able to go in to the hospital to see your husband, my heart goes out to you. 
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Karen F. Thank you for your kind words yes it was terrible not being able to see Peter when he died and knowing he was alone i think it has caused me to think to much of how he must have felt and still cry most days. X
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@Jen153
I feel so grateful that my husband was complaining of an ‘ache’ in the centre of his chest, was with a football friend who is a Dr and I doubt was fearing for his life when he just passed out in the car his friend was driving. Although he must have known something was seriously wrong to agree to go to hospital, I don’t think he would have realised he was about to die. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.
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My lovely Grahame died on November 3 2022. He went into hospital for an emergency hernia op on October 4. He came out fit and well 3 days later and we had a lovely evening together. The next day he went for a lie down and an hour later I found him delirious and breathing raggedly. The ambulance crew said he had an infection and took him back to hospital. I waved him off, saying I’d see him soon. Later the hospital rang to say they were looking for a bed in a London hospital. When I asked ‘why’ they said ‘has nobody told you he’s had a heart attack.’ I saw him the next day, looking well and awaiting an operation for a stent. Despite the infection, the cardiologist operated successfully but the infection worsened and he went to ICU. The infection overwhelmed him three weeks later.
We were in our 50s when we met on Valentines Day in 1989 and married exactly a year later. He was already retired having been been a trade union official for 28 years but was retired on medical grounds. The union and political work that went with it were his life, and he had a breakdown.
There were people at his funeral from that part of his life whom I had never met. Many of them told me that I had ‘saved him’, ‘made him smile again’, ‘gave him a new life’. I hadn’t realised how much that was true. We had a wonderful life together and I’m so pleased that I made such a difference. His last words were ‘I love you.’
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Hi my name is Leigh.
My husband Martin - I always called him Mart - was my best friend and soul mate.
He passed away on 29/1/22 - I know the dreaded 1st anniversary is approaching.
Mart was 65 - he had retired some years before due to ill health (not related to the cancer) and was a wonderful house husband and supporter of any of my mad cap ideas. He also spent hours looking for things I had lost!
Mart had a major operation in November 2021 - had a stoma bag and was a pragmatist - I never once heard him complain so I never knew what pain he was in even though I asked.
Mart was my protector in all sorts of ways. He collapsed at home and was taken to hospital where he ended up in intensive care. His body could not cope with the ravages of cancer. I was so very fortunate to be able to say goodbye and tell him I loved him. We had 20 wonderful years together.
Mart had such a dry sense of humour and was loyal to all his friends - helping anyone and everyone when he could - I learnt so much from him and one day I will create a memory book.
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I don`t think I did my wonderful husband justice . I met him in 1981 after coming out of a abusive divorce he was one of those men who travelled the world with no intention of settling down as a friend of his said after he died you must have something special. I was a trainee Accountant but gave that up and worked with animals with him. After the Embryo Transfer days we started a practice as it was the one thing he wanted to do. We had to sell as he became ill , it was really hard for him giving up that life. In the last few years of his life his mobility became so bad after all those years standing in cattle sheds and operating . I knew how bad this was for a man so dedicated to his work but I tried to make it as good as I could . I am actually honoured that I met this wonderful man and I miss him so much. What I am really grateful he gave me back my confidence and made me the person I am today and will always love him for that
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That’s so funny! I can see the kidnapped gnomes that you both collaborated is so lovely and then gnome on holiday!
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My husband died in July 2022. We had been married for 54 years and engaged for 2 years prior to that. I met him on holiday in Jersey at a dance 2 days before I flew home to Birmingham where I lived. This tall dark handsome young man walked into my life and I was smitten. He lived in London and for 2 years we saw each other only at weekends (writing to each other in between) . My parents did not have a telephone so we wrote midweek to each other and every Friday I would travel to London by train for the weekend and he did likewise alternate weeks. Our marriage was very happy but with plenty of ups and downs caused by family problems but we were together and solved things together because he was wise and calm and took the crucial decisions. He was my anchor all through our marriage until dementia reared its ugly head 3 years ago which ruined our lives as he had always been the strong one and his illness absolutely threw me into a person who didn’t know how to cope with it. He caught Covid while in hospital for a slight heart problem and suffered delirium from which he never recovered. The last weeks of his life were spent in a nursing home because of his dreadful state. I grieve as if my heart will break. He was the best husband and best father and best friend and I was so fortunate to have him. His memory is a blessing to me but how hard it all is.
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My husband passed away November 2022.
I call him Baldy, Baldone, Baldfella… He used to say he was in trouble if I called him by his name.
He worked in security. When I notified everyone of his passing I spoke with so many people I’ve never met before . He had people travel from Scotland to his funeral, they said nothing was going to stop them attending - my baldy saved their life years ago. They were on the verge of suicide. My baldy stopped that, helped this guy get back on his feet.
Another was a youngster in the YMCA (Baldy was a security officer there) he said how he was heading down a ‘dark path’ but my Baldy talked to him, encouraged him to turn his life around (were still in contact) - he is now a police officer. He was planning on meeting with Baldy in the new year to tell him he passed all his police exams … He was gutted he never got to tell him.
Residents on the Island where he last worked attended his service - many telling stories of the smiles he out on their faces, his stories, jokes and general kindness.
He had people in Canada and the Canaries who he had a positive impact on their lives - they watched his service live online.
A patient he met in the hospital also came.
Even when I’m hospital the day before he passed he was making the hospital staff smile.
Sadly he never knew how much he was loved by others or the impact he had on others lives - I really wish he could see how amazing he was … I always told him he was, but he never saw it himself.
He had battled a deep depression for 2 years, finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel January 2022 - we thought it was the beginning of better things, so many plans.
He became ill April 2022, diagnosed with a lung disease June 2022, passed in November (a week before my birthday, couple weeks before his)
We only had 14 years 11 months together, should have had many more - but he was taken from me far too soon.
I would not swap that time for anything!
He showed me true love, that I was ‘perfect’ (to him) - he loved me for me … Always told me never to change for anyone.
We had a great relationship, always having a laugh with eachother… A great sense of humour and knew how to make me smile. One if his greatest compliments was:
“We may it be the best looking couple but at least we love eachother, I’m your Shrek & you’re my Fiona” 
He truly is/was my soul mate. I’m grateful we got to find eachother.
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Thank you LoobyLoo2 You can imagine how absolutely devastated I am as are most people who join this forum. He was such a lovely man and yes the dark hair changed to grey and then to silver and his dementia took his ability to communicate very much but his love for me never faltered.
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Adding to my Baldy’s story.
He adopted us 3 little boys 8 years ago… ‘children’ were not an option for us, so he got us these when they were a day old (
) … He knew I loved ducks! … They’ve been with us 8 years. The one we call “daddy’s boy” has been so attentive since my Baldy passed. I had Baldy home the night before his funeral so. I could show the boys & explain they wouldn’t be seeing daddy anymore (they had no access to him since the June & had been unsettled) … I know that may sound odd, & think I’m mad saying 'daddys boy ’ has been attentive… but he really has - they come in the house at night & he is constantly by my side, if a little away from me … He’s watching me… Weird I know x
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@Pat8
Thank you, so lovely to hear about your husband and how you met. Dementia is such a cruel illness as you really lose that person twice over.
Keep those precious memories of times when he was well and strong.
Hugs xxx
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@Kel2
How amazing to hear what your Baldie did to help others. Sounds a wonderful man. I love the idea that he thought he was in trouble if you used his name.
Also love hearing about your boys. Keep the stories coming. xxx
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My husband and me had 2 cats a boy and girl the girl one loved my husband so much she used to lay on the bed with him i used to call her daddys girl as we had no children and they were like children to us
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The boys are our children they really are.
I remember telling someone at work I had triplets - she wasn’t impressed when I showed her their photo.
They have been a god send since losing Baldy, they’re my only reason for trying to keep going.
Baldy said we were not getting rid of the boys, they’re our babies and he wasn’t going to leave me without him or them.
I’ve just brought them in for the night… They’re now having a snooze just by my feet … Daddy’s boy has one eye on me. X
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Baldy … honestly. - the rare occasion I used his name would say " what have I done? Honestly I’ve not done anything"
Old work colleagues (my workplace at the time) didn’t know his name until they saw the invites
The boys, they’re little sods but love them and I know Baldy did … He said he wasn’t letting them go anywhere.
Daddy’s boy is our biggest - takes after his dad.
We then have the middle one - he used to be a mummy’s boy, also on my lap for cuddles. He stopped talking to me when we started to adjust their sleeping arrangements, initially isolating from Baldy and then permanently outside in their run (had a bed built for them and I would sit out there with them until I put them to bed) - these were adjustments as Baldy got ill. Now I have brought them back into the house at night he has slowly started to live mummy again.
Then our little one - he is our stealth one, fast on his feet. He never used to like cuddles like the other two and tried to keep to himself … But this past year he really came out of his shell, used to sit with daddy, balancing on daddy’s feet. He will tug at my trousers if he’s not getting the attention he thinks he should be getting. If I pick him up to sit on my lap he jumps straight down, then asks for my hand which he will nibble on and slowly climb up my legs until he is on my lap - he will then settle down. 
X
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