It’s been over 3 years now since I lost my beloved wife. I’m on my own, no kids or pets, or close family around and I’m sleepwalking through my life. I still cry everyday and can’t believe she’s gone. Don’t really care about going on as I want to only to be with her again. No-one can replace her and I’m trying my best to carve out some kind of life in honour of hers but I feel so, so low with no energy. I really wanted to go with her when she died in my arms. No one seems to understand how the pain feels. Time doesn’t heal everything…
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Hi Stehud,
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are struggling with your ongoing grief.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. The community is here for you, everyone here has experienced grief and so will understand a little of what you are going through.
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
- If you have thoughts of suicide, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care, Rhi
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Hi Stehud. I lost my partner of 28 years to cancer 18 months ago. I now live in a very small one bedroom flat. I have a friend who visits and relatives not far away but they have their own lives and problems to cope with without me worrying them. My life revolves round the tv, its on all day. I know I should try and pass my time more fruitfully and there is things I could do to pass the time like volunteering but since losing her I seem to have lost all confidence to deal with anything even driving the car frightens me now so I just don’t drive it.I have to tell you that I too cry several times every day because I miss her so much and although I would never harm myself I go to bed at night and I really don’t care if I wake up again. I’m 71 now so haven’t got so long to wait as some before I finally get some peace. I’m so sorry for your loss I don’t believe there’s necessarily an end to this grief for everyone. Some people cope better than others I’m one of those that doesnt . Best wishes to you.
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Hi, I remember feeling like you do, after reading up a lot on grief it seemed normal that you can lose your self confidence & resilence, I felt better that I was normal in feeling this way.
Firstly I drove around the bloke, then a bit further etc… by taking it slowly I got my confidence back in driving.
I then thought I need to start doing something, so started to get out & about again, it was small baby steps but it was either that or have no life.
I didn’t know before I lost my husband about losing your confidence & not being able to bounce back when things go wrong.
Even if we have loved ones as you say they have there own lives so it’s up to us to get out there, I think you have the strength to be able to do it 
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@Stehud and @peterj I’m so sorry for your losses. @Flower_garden is right grief has no timetable and it’s baby steps. But sometimes taking them we need someone holding our hand. Use any help you have, don’t worry about ‘bothering’ them as I have found people are often willing to help if you let them know what they can do for you. You will find both empathy and encouragement here too. We are all in this alternative life we never chose and are struggling to know how we can live in it in our different ways.
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we do understand how you feel. Everyday going through the motions, trying to live each day because they would want us to
like you i have no kids. i had to move from
the south to the midlands as well as grieving i had that trauma
life will never be the same🥵its lonely and sad.
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Your story sounds like mine😢i lost my husband eightmonth ago
i have lost all confidence my car it’s not used. I live in a small flat the TV on company. I don’t want to go to work I’ve worked all my life I just want my husband
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Hi Stehud,
So sorry for your loss , deepest condolences,
Know how you feel, lost my husband 5 months ago, and i cannot sleep ,everyday is a struggle without him ,
He was my soulmate ,
I walk a lot, and visit his grave, and play his favourite music ,to give me some comfort ,
Take care
Susan
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Aw… you take care … try get out for a walk … fresh air is really good when youre feeling low … remember like we all did in lockdown xxx
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I know the feeling … you would fo anything to get them bsck wouldnt you ? Its so hard ! Xxx
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I lost my darling wife 7 weeks ago and although I have a wonderful family they are not near and I am struggling with my loss. I think about her all the time and I am not sure if I can go on. The one thing that keeps me going is that I am now fostering a rescue dog and that gets me out of the house for walks etc. and I have a responsibility to look after. Maybe getting a pet would help someone grieving
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Geoff211,
So very sorry for your loss , deepest Sympathy
I lost my husband 5months ago and it has been a real struggle , don’t know how I carry on without him
I would love a dog but I look after my elderly mum ,
My son lives a 5 hour drive from me
I walk a lot to clear my mind ,
Take care
Sue
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Yeh geoff i did same thing myself after my husband passed only 3 months ago … i went and got a puppy because i couldnt stand it being alone. They say that dogs can be therapy dont they and i think thats true xxx
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Hi susie - couldnt you grt an older dog from say a rescue centre say that dosnt need training ? Gets you out and a break from looking after your mum - if you can ? X
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sorry for your loss it is truly awful isnt it. You have kids so really lucky. Its good you have a pet. i dont want one always had cats but cant bear it when they die. Its been seven months for me but hes in my heart and yes i cry alone every day cos my heart aches but spring is coming so that helps:cry:
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Deb5
Thank you worth a thought
When my son comes up I walk his dog ,
Take care ,
Sue
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It is truly awful but like you say easier when weather is getting better … I’ve booked a 3 day break next month with my mum … going to a place always went with my husband … i hope its lovely snd i feel close to my husband still 
my daughter told me tonight shes struggling … first time shes told me that 
xx
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im going to back to eastbourne in june. it will be sad walking on seafront without him but going to a lovely wedding where they all loved my hubby.
Glad youre getting away x just keep giving your daughter lots of hugs. She still has you and you have each othet 
wrapping you in my hug xx
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Yeh its nice to know youre going where they were but as you say tinged with sadness cos theyre not with you too … yes me and my daughter not really been talking … i was very angry with everybody after my husband died … i didnt want anybody else only him ! But also people just didnt understand how traumatic it is losing your darling husband either i was absolutely devastated ! Dunno about anybody else on here ? I dunno how i survived but rang a lot of helplines and spoke to my mum … it really is a terrible experience isnt it
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i only wanted Brian i havent any kids or parents but no one knows what it feels like until
it happens to them. when youve been in a wonderful relationship its like half of you is missing i miss him and cuddles and his quirky ways:cry:
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