I know exactly whst you mean !!! People really don’t understand do they ! I cant believe how they dont ! Seems pretty obvious to me ! Yea i miss the cuddles too and yeh like u say half of you feels like its missing 
my mum is fortunately still here otherwuse dunno what i would have done … hard to think your darling husband has gone 
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You slso gotta think how lucky you were to have that too ! Some people never get that much love in there life like we did ! I said to my mum today im so glad i married him mum and i loved him so much - she said i know 
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My partner past away at home 5th May last year .
I was in love for 22yrs and miss her every minute of every day. I will grieve util the day i die ,thats how strong I miss her.
I don’t want to forget her .our home is filled with photos on walls and furniture, i even got 2 of the biggest photo prints possible to hang.
I still cry once or twice a day. I have moments i loose my memory and miss lay personal items so i blame my late partner, playing tricks with me.
Only last night i got a really big shock as i woke on settee.
I have slept on settee for about 4yrs now, around time my partner got diagnosed.
Ive never slept in our bed since.
But ,back to my shock.
We have two big settees, but one french bull dog who likes to spread in middle before i get under sheets.to combat this i go and lie on other,knowing before long my dog gets up andjumps on mine.
Anyway i woke up and jumped out of bed and staired at other settee. I sat back down and began to talk to a bundle of bed covers as the way they were piled looked more like my partner with her white dressing gown with her hood up watching the tv i forget to turn off.
I sat there crying and asking her to turn her head, in the chance it would happen. This went on for over an hour.
I just grip on to any moment i think my partner is there for me.
I sit by myself on night times as my 18yr old son is upstairs in his room or sleeping at his grandparents.
This gives me the space to grieve the way i believe is how i want to.
And if i imagine my partner is here with me,( however it is)
I feel wanted and loved.
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its horrid but thank god for this chat x i also go on different help lines. going to local church next month as they have a support group with people going through the same. When i think of Bri i start crying especially on my own everyone would tell me off if i did it in front of them😞
That sounds a brilliant idea - im not aware of any around here ? For bereavment xx
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gp services sent me a booklet x speak to gp or nurse for wellbeing x
Ha im afraid i dont trust any gp or dr after way my husband was treated - could google it ? X
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Stehud I am so sorry for your terrible loss. It feels sometimes like nobody understands but some do i think, we just have to come to support groups to find them. I could have written your post about myself. It’s not been as long for me since my partner passed, but her energy and vibrancy and compassion are completely irreplaceable and all I want is to have her back. No energy, no joy, life is ashes, constant feelings of loss and pain. It feels like there is no moving on from this. I have nothing to say to make it better, no words of wisdom, just know that others feel this way and we are struggling alongside you. I will be trying to find some in person support groups to get some in person empathy. Who knows, maybe 10 years is what it takes.
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Fasz
So very sorry for your loss ,
Life is a struggle without our loved ones
Lost my husband October 2022 and I don’t know how I have survived without him ,
My friend thinks I need counseling,
I saw my GP and came out with different antidepressants ,which I decided not to take
I walk a lot and visit my husband grave at least twice a week
Take care I am so glad I found this group
Sue
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Counselling better than anti depressants ! Dont take them if you dont want to ! Find somewhere for counselling ! Privately if necessary. Take care xxx
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Hi Susie,
Thank you for your post. My sincere condolences to you for your terrible loss.
The one thing I know I need is other people. Family, friends, online support groups, and counsellors. I know no one can fix this all consuming pain, but maybe by sharing it I can begin to understand how to cope and if there is any way to begin to live again, even though at the moment it does not feel that way. I have also been given some antidepressants but not taken them. Pills are not as good as people for me.
Like you I have been walking a lot, in the outside air, trying to let nature have some healing effect. What else can we do.
Take care of yourself please x
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Fasz Deb5
Thank you both for your kind words,
I do find going for a walk helps clear the mind ,
I probably do need to see a councillor
Untill you have lost a partner no one can understand that pain or grief you suffer ,
Take care big hugs
Sue
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@fasz
I hope your will find that the people on here can support you and supply what you need. It is a very reassuring group in many ways as there are so many people who understand as they are going through so many similar emotions.
We know there is no pattern to grief but we are here to help each with through whichever stage they are at at any given time.
I started a zoom chat on a Friday night if you’d be interested but I cannot put the link on the forum as it can be seen by non members. If you would like me to add you to the zoom private chat please PM me. This goes for anyone who wants to try zoom.
Love
Karen xxx
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Hi fasz. I lost my partner of 28 years eighteen months ago and yet the pain of her loss seems to get worse with time not better as you might expect. I would guess its different for everyone but so far that has been my experience . Ever since she left I have shared my pain and thoughts with people on here because we all have a shared experience . I have much support from family and a great friend but none of them have lost a partner so cannot fully understand like my friends on here. I’m sorry for your loss. Use this group as I have and I hope it will help you through this horrible journey .
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Thank you @KarenF that is very reassuring.
I have found that the rest of the non-grieving world is generally waiting for me to feel better, get over it etc. Not insensitively, but knowledge of the all-encompassing nature of this, how deeply it cuts to the very core, and that I may never really get over this is, understandably, simply not there.
I am so grateful for communities like this one.
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Hi @peterj . I am so sorry for your appalling loss after such a long time spent together. I only knew my partner for 12 years but she was my best friend and my whole world. She was taken from me so suddenly, with no warning, happy and healthy one day and just gone the next, and that shock has absolutely floored me. I am still early in my grief journey, and hearing everyone’s different viewpoints and ways of coping is so valuable thank you.
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I empathise with virtually everything people are expressing/experiencing. But I have children, stepchildren and dogs. I love them all, but I also feel guilty, because all I want is my partner back. Life is empty without her. Each day is as bleak as the last. The emptiness is crushing. Id never do anything to myself, i know the hurt that causes and could never put that on the people who love me, but at the same time, for the first time, I don’t fear death. If my time came tomorrow there would be one of two outcomes, nothing or I’d be with her. Either seems better than my new reality. I’m told these feelings are normal and will pass. However, my glass is half empty in that regard. Maybe I’m wrong! I would like to be wrong
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I feel exactly the same way. I too have children and grandchildren and a pet dog but all I want to do is be with my wife who passed away 10 weeks ago. I was married for 54 years and we were always together. I am at a loss of what to do with my life now I am on my own.
Its hard isnt it peter when people dont understand ? Im so lost really . I hate living alone without him 
he was such fun snd made my life worthwhile … i dunno when it gets better… 4 months on i still feel rubbish 
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@Deb5
Oh I know just what you mean.
It is almost six months for me. I still wait for the car to pull into the drive and my lovely husband to come indoors with his cheerful happy nature. Some days it doesn’t seem real and I still think there has been a mistake but know in my heart it is all too real.
I know I have said this so many times but I want my old life back.
Having a bad couple if hours. It started when I went into what he called his man cave and saw his slippers underneath the bed. So sad to think he will never wear them again.
As you say, all we want in the world is our lovely hubands/wifes back.
Stay strong xx
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