Yeh i found my husbands glasses the other week fallen under a table !! Wow …it hurt xx god bless xx
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Hi Deb5. Thank you for your reply. Its not friends and families fault that they dont truely understand its just that they havent experienced it. I certainly wouldnt wish it on them. Its a tough journey and as I think I said before for me its getting worse not better. I went shopping this morning in Lidl with ever intention of going to Tesco after that. I couldn’t . I sat in the car and cried my eyes out and had to go home. Silly old fool. My best wishes to you.
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PeterJ
Feel the same some days I cannot move out of.the house ,or I will go for walks on my own ,
Untill you have lost your partner no one
Can understand the grief ,
I feel totally exhausted with all the stress ,
I know my husband wouldn’t want me to be
Unhappy
It’s only 6 months this coming Friday that I lost him and I agree it doesn’t get any easier,
Everyone on here is so kind and understanding,
Take care
Sue
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Deb5. I can imagine how painful that must have been. x
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Yeh in a case ( with his headphones ! ) He always carried them with him 
to listen to music / read x
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Im 6 and a half months in, and i think its getting worse too. People seem to expect me to be getting better. Ive been fortunate to not need to be back in work, financially but work are now trying to come up with a plan to get me back. HR lady seemed very unsympathetic, and seemed very surprised when i said im no better than i was 6 weeks ago. Though i suppose if you havent lost your person then you dont get what its like! How is 4 small sessions of counselling going to change anything, i just want my old life back, not a new normal. Love to all xx
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@Skip
Oh Skip, I do feel for you. The company you work for should be more understanding but as you say, the person you spoke to has probably never had such a loss so has no understanding. Hopefully your GP will continue to sign you off until you feel ready to go back. I am almost six months into this journey and I thank God I don’t have to go to work. Would this be an option for you?
I think things are getting harder too. I feel such sadness and wish so much for my old life back. I suppose we all feel the same. I hope one day we will see a light at the end of the tunnel and learn to live a new life.
Sending love and hugs to you xx
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@Deb5
That would have broken my heart too.
Unexpected things like that seem so much harder to cope with .xx
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Yeh cos i know if he was here he be wearing them to read just reinforces him not being here ! Its strange all these things mean so much to our loved one and then when they go they are just left with no use so sad 
@Deb5
That is so true.
All of the possesions we have andwe leave them all behind, we can’t take them with us can we?
We are the ones that have the sadness having to see them everywhere in our homes daily. Xx
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Hi @Alir yes, i dont need or want to go back to work and im thinking about jacking it in, work that is…I do think about the other but cant do that to family, tho Ive spent the last 6 months asking Bri to take me with him.
My gp is very good and im signed off another month and ive got an app with him next month.
These HR people need to have a heart and realise how our worlds have been turned upside not just think ah well it was 6 months ago she should be back in work now, just to keep their managesr happy!!
Sending love and hugs to you too x
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@Skip My husband Alan died of a cardiac arrest 18 months ago whilst playing football at the Sports Centre where I had worked for 26 years. My husband and daughter also worked there. They wanted to give me two weeks off which would have mean’t going back before the funeral. As a special dispensation? they extended it to 6 weeks! My husband had to have a PM. I waited until after the funeral and then resigned. As did my daughter and another colleague. Need to find another job now as too young for my pension.
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@JR124
I, like you, no longer fear death as I believe I will be with my darling Richard again but I know I have many tasks to do here first so I’ll be patient. Whether the desire to go with them will ease or not for each of us may depend on what purpose we find in our lives after this terrible loss. I really do believe that finding some purpose is key to me making a decent life with the time I have left. Mostly purpose is thrust upon me in the shape of a daughter with a learning disability who needs me to help improve her independence rather than her relying completely on her sister.
I hope you can begin to feel less hopeless in what life will hold for you.
Love
Karen xxx
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Thank you Karen
My partner Julie taught me how to be a better version of myself. It will sound like a cliché, but before meeting her, in my forties, I didn’t know what romanric love was.
‘When you meet the one, they become the person who connects you to the world.
The one that makes you better than you could ever imagine possible
The one who’s your everthing.’
Ive never known anyone so selfless and so full of goodness as her. The difficulties she faced and overcome in her life, it wasnt fair for her to lose her life. She gave everything for others and expected so little in return. But I’ve always known the world wasn’t fair, and I would have given anything to have taken her place. I still would.
But she has left me with a purpose. To carry on caring for our children, grandsons etc. I know I won’t let her down, but I know she did it better and everyone would all be better off if she were still here and it was me that had to go. But with life being unfair, we don’t get to make those choices unfortunately.
I believe evolution has a purpose for things, emotions etc but I’m struggling to see any benefits for grief, other than the unfortunate dark reflection of love lost through the death of a loved one, and the price we pay for being fortunate enough to have such love in our life.
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@JR124 . I understood so well. My husband helped anyone he could he had no ego and was the wind beneath my wings. He was there for all our children and grandchildren plus the disabled people he worked with and all loved him. Life’s not fair and i dont understand why he has gone. To honour his memory i have to carry on and do my best.
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@Skip
Hi Skip, that is good to hear that you don’t have to go back to work if you don’t want to. I know everyone says not to do anything hasty or make big decisions at this stage but sometimes I think deep down you know that whatever decision you make will be best for you.
You need to find peace first and adjust to this new life we find ourselves now living. It is so very hard isn’t it?
I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.
Sending love to you xx
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Thanks @Alir. Thats good advice, it is really hard, for us all on here, going through the worst time in our lives. Just going to put work in a box for now, dont want to think\stress about it.
Thank you, sending hugs x
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@JR124
One major thing you have been able to do for Julie is to save her this terrible grief. Your words about making you better than you ever thought you could be resonate so much with me and the song by Josh Groban ‘You Raise Me Up’ is one which has come to mean a lot to me. I had it played at Richard’s funeral and, although I couldn’t actually sing at that point, I was in my head singing at the top of my voice.
@Freefaller I love the notion of your husband being the wind beneath your wings. Keep honouring him xxx 
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@JR124
I’ve been thinking about your comment about not seeing a benefit for grief and whilst I also struggle to find one it has made me think about how it demonstrates the enormous power of love. How many of us on here would not choose to experience that love we shared, even knowing the pain of the grief we are left with? I’ll be very surprised if anyone here says they would rather not have done so.
Karen xxx
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@KarenF
For sure, I would do it all again and wouldn’t have been without what I had x
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