A message to the unbereaved...

Thank you lady for your reply I slept ok so ready to manage a lonely day I will do some gardening that is exciting about the blue tits I have been watching but as yet not had any we have had them nesting in our box most years must be nice seeing them we never out a camera in thought about it
I also say we although his not here I will always be a wee it’s hard not feeling him beside me
Take care xx

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Hi Debbie57
I just lost my husband last week and I am just empty.
I think I am still in shock.
We all take everything for granted and never expect an untimely death. I certainly never thought I would lose my parents and my husband within 5 years. It is much harder losing the love of my life, as he was not very old.
The only comfort I have is that he knew how much I truly loved him.

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Poochy I am so very sorry for your loss it is a tough journey that you will be on so early for you the pain horrific people one here are so good with the right words I’m not great but just feeling sad for your loss you will feel so empty and lost I lost my husband 11 months ago very sudden I wanted to be with him as living h through this is so hard but I can not let my family have to deal with extra pain right now so I have to manage it hope you have support from family and friends this site has helped me not where we wanted to be is it I loved my husband so much like you they say we was lucky to have had true love it’s painful now his not sharing every thing with me sending you a hug take care xx

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Hi Poochy57
I am so sorry for your loss and my love goes out to you. :heart:
You are very early in this unwanted road we find ourselves on and I hope you get love and support from your family and friends.
My parents are both gone too but for me it was a long time ago over twenty years.
You are now part of the Sue Ryder family and we are all here for you and each other.
Take care - Debbie X X

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I got through it, she was very lovely and supportive, I’m going to give it a go but just can’t help but get that voice out of my head that nothing is going to change that my husband has gone and that I’m going to have these feelings for the rest of my life. It makes me feel that I must have been such an awful person in my previous life to have to go through this pain and suffering now :broken_heart:

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I feel the same must have been a terrible person to have to go through this pain it’s so hard
Sending you a hug take care xx

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Hello Rose

I feel exactly as you do. It’s been another lonely and long weekend without my husband by my side. Its not just the weekend that is lonely, weekdays are as well. It’s been 42 weeks since he passed away and yet it seems like only yesterday.
He was the only person who really cared about me and I just miss him so much. I took him too much for granted and how I regret that now. I live far away from family and friends are thin on the ground.
I have two children but they have their lives to lead and one lives in another country.
I’ve been having counselling on and off and at our last session she suggested I might need more in depth help. However, I’ve come to realise that my grief is so intertwined with my loneliness that I’m not sure that would help.
I do wish I could be like a lot of other people on here who seem much more positive than me.
The future just seems so bleak that I do wonder why bother……

Take care x

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Hello Trixie
So sorry for your pain weekends are lonely as you say but every day is I do have family they are local but they have there lives not like mine I feel my life has ended well the one I loved now I have to live this one I don’t like it’s been 11 months worse months of my life I don’t know how long I have to live it’s so lonely with out him I did do some gardening it makes me so sad as he did most of it although I would be out with him doing some people just do not want to listen now I had to phone the Samaritans just because I needed some one to talk to did not really do a lot for me
Unless they have gone through the loss your partner they don’t know how much pain you are dealing with do they if only we could chat over a coffee sure it would make us feel better hope you manage the evening take care sending hug xx

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Hi Martin
My Ron died of pancreatic cancer too. He was fine one minute and dead the next. He had no pain just discomfort. I can’t believe he is gone. I am so sorry your wife passed with this awful disease that you don’t know about until it is too late. I felt helpless. I still do. Please feel free to private message me if you want to talk.

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I understand totally, and I feel the same .
Lost my daughter to cancer in the summer of 2020 , we were strong together, but then very suddenly in November 2021 after an illness of a few weeks my husband passed Away with cancer also. The loss is devastating I feel totally lost , we would have been married 50 years last month.
I am lost , I don’t know how to carry on without him, he was my best friend as well as my soulmate.
My son has been fantastic and his own family but it’s not the same my dogs have been a big comfort and one of them passed away afew weeks ago .
I just don’t know what to do, you carry on with day to day things but inside your broken :broken_heart: everybody else’s life carries on but mine has stopped . I miss him so much :cry:.
Only people who have suffered this loss will understand.

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Jilli21
I am so very sorry for your double loss to loss your daughter was terrible as parents we don’t expect to loss out children and have to deal we the pain then to loss your soul mate is just terrible for you as you say you was strong together I have lost my husband 11 months ago suddenly I am managing day ti day for my family but I for you is double pain hope you get the support from friends and family and people on here are here for you as you say unless they have gone through the loss they will not know what you going through I don’t know how I tick on my own it’s hard going I want to send you a hug our memories will stay with us but not what we wanted is it
Take care xxx

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Thankyou for your reply ,you also suffered a loss and I’m so sorry .
I agree about ticking on your own it’s very hard to carry on at times , I am lost and don’t what to do without him , we were strong together I don’t feel so strong now, I would imagine that you feel the same . Once again I’m so sorry , and understand totally we all need strength that we didn’t know we had . My thoughts are with you :heart:

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Yes we really do need strength to carry on don’t we it’s hard as we do feel weak with out our other half I will never be the same person take care
My thoughts are with you x

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Thankyou and you x

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Hello Jilli,
I certainly understand,I had a very small family.I lost my much loved Uncle in 2017 my Dad in 2018 and my partner in January 2022.
My partner and I had been together for 39years and his loss is the hardest of all.He was so much younger than my other relatives and his death was sudden,unexpected and caused by medical negligence.
We didn’t have children and I feel destroyed.I had a burst water pipe in the kitchen today and managed to get a plumber even though it is Easter bank holiday.
I did a large online shop because I can’t drive,Malcolm would have sorted out the pipe himself and we would have gone out shopping and probably had tea out.
The live we had together was lovely,we were everything to each other.I have just say down and wondering how I will get through the next day let alone the rest of my life.x

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Hi,
Sorry for your losses, it must be heartbreaking for you . I understand totally what you mean , my husband did all repairs ect himself now I have to find others to do things. The loss of a husband who was your soulmate is devastating and I won’t ever come over it , his company his humour his love all of the things that make you a couple. I understand.
Love & strength to you .
J x

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I have often felt it would be a blessing to go to bed and not wake up.Everything seems too much to bear yet three months in I’m still here and each day is as bad as the last.x

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Hi Pushkin28,
I completely sympathise with you, as I lost my husband 2 weeks ago. I still feel that I’m in a dream. It was a total shock. I come into an empty flat and just want him to be here. I just took everything for granted. I seriously wonder how I am going to carry on. I never thought that it would happen to me. We had been together for 47 years. So many memories.

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Hi Poochy57,
All I can say it is the worst pain I could ever have imagined.We were together for 39years.
I also feel I took him for granted and I am suffering guilt.Two weeks is nowhere near enough time to even begin to heal.It’s been just three months for me,sometimes it feels like years other days it feels like yesterday.
If it a sudden and unexpected death you are left in a limbo of disbelief and for me that hasn’t worn off yet.in a way I don’t want it to…I might feel even worse if that is possible.x

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I think that we all feel like that at times , but we seem to get the strength to carry on , I often think I’ll wake up one morning and it will have been a bad dream .
Life goes on around us because we are the only people it affects 24/7. X

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