@Mbg Is there anyone you can ask to come and see when you get home? I wish I’d thought it through beforehand.
I am hoping my son isn’t called into work that day. I rang the dentist after posting and spoke to the receptionist. She is going to speak to the dentist and see what they can do. Thank you posting, it made me try and sort something out.
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Yeah, I am thinking about that caricature of cat lady. I have asked a few to tell me if they think I am becoming a bit odd’, but I don’t think I care. I don’t want this life too and I agree, how can I ever be happy without him. I do hope your dental work brings some relief. I want for a female screening’ today at my GP and ended up talking to the practice nurse about my grief and shelving the examination. Don’t know why I went, just a pretence to be functional
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I don’t think I would be here without my cats. They come and prod me in the morning to make me get up and feed them. When I’m sitting down I’ve usually got one of them next to me. I can’t imagine this house without some other life in it. My husband absolutely adored them and in my lowest moments I think about that and how they now depend on me.
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I know where you are coming from. Christmas I got through ok but new year I was sobbing. The thought of the months stretching ahead without my husband is daunting. He died in February 2024 not quite a year yet, I miss him terribly. Wishing you better days to come
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I know how you feel my beloved passed away 11 months now and i still cry a lot and i wish he would hug me just to say everything would be ok i dread this new year .i miss him so much. I’m sending you hugs.
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Everyone on here is so thoughtful and helpful. It is so comforting to read that others are feeling exactly the same as you and to know that you are not going mad.
The sadness, the loneliness, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at those people who want you ‘to be over it’ when you feel so awful and struggle to put a brave face on .
10 months now since my wonderful, kind and loving husband passed away. I still cannot say that he died, it just sounds so final. Struggled through the first Christmas, New Year and the 8/1 will be Nigel’s birthday.
Thank you to you all for your messages it is so comforting and I hope my comments may help you to feel less alone .
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hello my thoughts are with you i too lost my husband 7 months ago after 47 years of marriage and it will be his birthday his 70th if he had lived it will be on wednesday the 8th of this month so i know like yourself it will be a very hard day but we keep going and i feel that i had Davy in my life so in that sense i was so lucky
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I lost my wonderful husband in Feb’24. Everything I’ve been reading resonates so loudly with me.
I ‘managed’ Christmas but NY is awful. I feel like I’m losing him, leaving him behind somehow and I don’t want to! I’m sobbing just writing that. I know people say you carry them with you as they are a part of you which I kind of understand but I feel devastated. Starting ‘25 without him is just so so sad and scary.
Thank you everyone as I know I’m not the only one. This is tough!
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I feel the same as all previous comments, now 15 months since losing my husband of 51 years. I can’t remember not being with him, it’s impossible and doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. I think about him all the time. I’ve got 3 cats that I talk to all the time, so probably becoming a cat eccentric lady too!! xxx
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I sit and talk to my dog all day too. He’s the only company I can manage at the moment as I find other humans exhausting and noisy. But if anyone could see me I know they’d think I’m losing my marbles, which to be honest I probably am!
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Thinking of you today as I believe you mentioned today should be your husband’s birthday, the same birthday as my husband and Elvis would have been 90 today ! Let’s hope they are all dancing to Jailhouse Rock or Blue Suede Shoes !
It has been a long and lonely day compared to previous Birthdays, but knowing that there are others who really do understand your pain helps a lot.
I hope that you have managed as well as is possible today and always happy to hear how you are getting along. Probably one difficult day at a time I imagine.
Take good care of yourself.
And today was the first anniversary of my dogs death. It hurt badly at the time but it was only a minor ‘practise run’ for my husband who died two months later and then my brother ten days after that. I feel now that I’m on a ‘countdown’. I’ll no longer be able to say it’s been ** weeks since they went but it’ll be over a year and, like Crinkle64, I feel I’m leaving them behind and I don’t want to. If I’m honest, I don’t bellieve I’ve really begun to mourn properly for my brother yet, the loss so close to my husband of 53 years has overwelmed me enough.
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Thank you for your kind words my daughter put on her facebook a lovely poem about her dad and a video of pictures of Davy which was nice even people who he had worked with remembered his birthday so all the family came round for dinner which was nice apart from the dishes but we got their miss him loads but we just keep going i hope your day was okay for you and your feeling as best as can be expected thank you
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So sorry to hear of all your pain. It’s a lot to process. There’s no hurry, even though you sometimes feel that others want you
‘over it’ but it just doesn’t work like that in my experience.I lost my first husband and my father in close succession and like you felt overwhelmed and it felt like split loyalty not knowing who or how to grieve for first. I found that talking to other people who recognise your pain helps a great deal, rather than internalising your feelings because they will be released at some point when you are least expecting.
I remember being told to think of your grief like a big circle in front of you and the quickest way to get to the other side of the circle is to go straight through the middle rather than trying to skirt around the outside of the circle which will take longer. I hope that I have explained that properly. Take care of yourself.
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Our loved ones would want our lives to go on. I believe the spirit lives on and although Geoff took a piece of my heart with him when he left this world he will one day return it to when we meet in spirit. We made some fabulous memories together and I know he would want me to continue to make more memories, whilst it’s not easy at times, life is short and we need to make the most of our time on Earth.
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So true Diane, my partner lived his life as he wanted, and would want me to carry on. And I agree we should be living on, not only in their memory, but we are entitled to some enjoyment in our lives that remain too. I know for many of us we cannot imagine that being there for us anytime soon, but I hope we all find the peace in our own situations in due course x
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All relationships, long or short are different, some good some less so. All people grieve in different ways and there is no right or wrong way. Whichever way is best for you is the right way and that should be your choice regardless of well meaning advice from others.
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10 months in and it seems to keep on getting worse. Miss him so much and the start of a New Year without him is just horrifying, really brings the awful new reality home.
So sorry to read this. Completely understand. My husband passed away last March so I do understand very well how you are feeling. People keep saying to me ‘you are doing so well’ if only they knew.
The only comfort I get is by reaching out to others who are also suffering in the hope that my understanding may help them too. The Hospice where my husband lost his fight offered me bereavement counselling which I have found helpful. It doesn’t change anything but it does help to talk to someone who really listens and I don’t have to worry that my grief may upset them, as you may do with family who are also grieving.
Take good care of yourself.
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