I am lost, no one to talk to not that I trust anyone, Daughter keeps saying “Dad no one understands “ devastated can’t answer her, I don’t understand, I can’t answer her I am in melt down, lost my wife during pandemic to cancer, was so sudden she was admitted and 4 weeks later passed away, what do I do?
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The best advice I was given is take each day at a time. Don’t look too far ahead and be kind to yourself. You are allowed to feel sad and cry. Use this forum we are all here to support. Try to keep busy, I keep repeating tasks just to make sure I am doing something!!
Take care
Jane
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Thanks Janie , crying is hard (big boys don’t cry ) but I will try to keep busy, last night was very bad for me finding this community, how I don’t know, is helping already at least I’m not alone x
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So sorry for your loss. The journey that you and your daughter find yourselves on is one none of us wanted. I lost my husband in a road traffic accident. We have two adult children. Our son’s oldest was only 9 months and they had only broke the news to us a couple of days earlier that they were expecting a second who was born in April 2021. Because of the pandemic our daughter could not visit.
Our son found it extremely difficult to express his emotions but through counselling was eventually able to shed some of the burden that he felt. I know that you will, like all parents, want to shield your daughter from extra pain. I hope that you have friends that you can talk to and share your feelings.
This forum is a great support. Keep posting.
Sheila x
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Hi Eugene
So sorry for your loss. I am 10 months in, my husband died suddenly. It’s a hard journey we are all on. My daughter says exactly the same to me about her Dad, and she is right they don’t understand unless they have been through it. Sometimes we don’t need to say anything a hug is what is needed. You have come to the right place here, I have got a lot from the site. You will get the same, keep reading and posting. Take care x
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You just have to work through each hour of the day best you can, I lost my husband in eight weeks after being together for forty three years and my two sons were with me when he died in horrific circumstances and we floundered hour to hour trying to make some sense of it all, it devastated us all and shook everything we believed in, everything suddenly seemed pointless but somehow we got through those first dreadful days, my sons kept saying nobody understands do they, it was our lives that were turned upside down, take care of yourselves and know that you’re not alone we’re all on the same dark road hugs x
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Dear Eugene I lost my husband of 24 years last November. We are so broken by the fact that the journey in the ambulance from Cornwall to Barnet contributed to his demise. Then covid piled in on top. The French say that you have to ’ empty your sac’ . This means you must let go those tears and keep crying until all has been emptied. Holding back is no good. I think I have cried every day at some point since November but not all the time. Yes the death was unfair but nothing will bring him back. Graduaĺly I feel slightly more settled. People ask me if I’ve been on holiday but I say that there is only one person I want to go away with and he’s not here anymore so I stay at home.
Good thoughts and healing to you.
Tricia
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Hi big boys can cry there is no shame in that better to let the tears flow you certainly are not alone in your journey mine started 16th Jan 2021 when my husband Paul passed away from covid he was taken into hospital also my son on 28th dec we all had covid my son came home after a week Paul deteriorated and was put on a ventilator still can’t believe he has gone expect him to come home every day 
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Dear bobmajor I find it incredible when people say have you got any nice plans or have you booked a holiday I want to scream at them they have no idea what you are going through inside it takes all my effort to even get out of bed in the morning let alone think about going on holiday nothing will ever feel or be the same again x
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Thank you Oceon village608. At last someone understands that I truly loved my husband and now he’s gone, i don’t have any interest in going on holiday with anyone at the moment. My security is at home. I spent four days with my step daughter in August but just felt miserable. I’d rather be at home with my memories and the tv . Don’t get me wrong I enjoy going out to meet people at various events but it’s over after a couple of hours and I’m glad to retire. I can only move on at a snail’s pace. The tears are always close by.
Love to all
Tricia
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Tricia,
Thank you for your reply, 4am can’t sleep I want so much to empty everything out but I feel I can’t because I as a father and I should be able to help, support my Daughter with her grief, and unfortunately I can’t. I’m her Father I am failing, I am devastated I can’t help.
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My husband died a year ago this month from Covid. I was so ill from Covid as well. Just before he died he asked not to go to hospice. When he couldn’t be helped anymore they sent him to hospice. He was heavily sedated and didn’t know what was happening. His two daughters were with him for two days until he died when I couldn’t be. I’m still tortured with guilt because he didn’t die at home. Do you think he forgave me?
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Please please do not feel guilty there was nothing to forgive you were so ill yourself he would completely understand why oo why are we all punishing ourselves for there passing xxx
No way are you failing as her father you know she is grieving but you are also trying to come to terms with your loss I’m sure she realises and understands this grief is so unbearable but we must try to get through the best way we can stay strong x
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Barb,
There is nothing to forgive, stop torturing yourself it was taken out of our hands x
Dear Eugene
I have the same feelings of failing our kids. My husband for not heeding our warnings about the dangers of his motorbike and me now for not being able to support them because I cannot even support myself most days. Loss of our loved one’s and the associated grief cause so much pain in so many ways.
Keep posting and share your thoughts.
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Thank you.
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Easier said than done. But thank you. Validation helps.
I lost my wife to bladder cancer in September,due to covid she was not diagnosed in time,I am very angry,lost the love of my life,my sweetheart ,my everything gone forever.
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. She will always be with you watching over you.
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