I know how you feel sending hugs 
Hi Paula
I understand that feeling appears we were going through the same on Wednesday. The rain was pouring through my dining room ceiling, single storey extension joined to lounge. 24 hours later at midnight whilst watching TV the ceiling completely collapsed. The crash was terrifying, like bereavement no one was available, no one came over, no one invited me for a meal, a bed for the night, I felt so alone and afraid. The house is freezing and having to stay upstairs to eat sleep and generally live…it’s exhausting navigating life alone…I’m thinking of you Paula X
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Rough day today. Recently lost my dad late January, a year and a month after losing my mom. Just wish I could talk to them once more, to keep me going & to feel something warm inside.
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Hello all,
I wanted to share something I watched on you tube, which has helped me to try and understand why my husband died so tragically recently and why there’s suffering in the world from a Christian perspective. Whilst may not be for everyone, it has helped me, so wanted to share. Title “Why did God let it happen?” Life.Church. Posted 4 years ago .i pray it comforts and blesses you 
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Just lost my husband don’t know how to cope
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Hello Bella,
Your message speaks volumes as losing a husband like me is profound and overwhelming on times. Your message speaks volumes, it’s short and to the point so I’m gathering your in the early stage of grief? Not able to speak about it but reaching out for support is a brave step. I lost my husband around 6 months ago tragic accident whilst abroad, married nearly 50 years. There is hope after loss! Keep swimming with your head above water, eat, drink, seek extra help if you need it. After 6 months I’m now reaching out to start a friendship group in my area for those who have lost a spouse or partner. Something I could never face in the early months of grief. I don’t know if it will work out, it’s in Gods hands. It’s so important we try to support one another in such profound loss. I do believe we will find a way forward where there is real purpose in our lives , where we carry our loved ones in our hearts and memories until we are reunited in heaven. Jesus is our real hope and saviour! Know you are loved and God loves you. God bless!
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Thank you for a lovely message i don’t know how I will carry on with out Martin of 53 years bella
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Hello Bella, thinking about our future is difficult with such profound loss . it’s important to keep sharing your feelings and know you’re not alone. We all will experience grief, I know the loss of a spouse is so overwhelming. It’s the one person we chose and had the most intimate and loving relationship with. I’ve suffered loss of both parents and siblings but nothing prepared me for the loss of my husband. The thing is my husband was with me through all trials , now hes not. There are people and organisations out there who can support us through this very distressing time. There are so many layers to the loss of a spouse, affecting our emotions, sense of security, identity. It’s so exhausting and important to allow others to help. Eat, drink, sleep, cry, then get up and have a shower. Doing daily tasks slowly , there’s no rush or timeline but for me I feel I’m turning a corner after 6 months. I try not to dwell on my future rather focus on where my husband is now, in Heaven and imagine he is preparing a place for me. I’ve told my children I will prepare a place for them. It’s the place Jesus has prepared for all of us as believers. It’s not easy and it’s baby steps right now. We need to keep going. I have had intrusive thoughts , not really caring about myself or others. The sadness is crippling on times. I got through those times with support from family and prayer. I don’t have those thoughts any more. God is with us through our sorrows. I don’t know what network of friends or family you have but talk to someone, there is a church near you, and organisations like Cruise to support. But I have to be honest calling and leaning on God is helping me more so. Family have helped with practical day to day support and a listening ear, meals, admin, managing home. It’s not an easy path but there’s light and real hope of reunion with our loved ones. It has helped me not to think about the future here on earth, rather look upon heaven as our ultimate holiday and celebrations. I’m praying to God that He will guide my path and asking how I can serve Him. The answer is to comfort those who need comforting, grieve with those who grieve. I’m still grieving but 6 months on. I’ve done a lot of research on grief mainly from a Christian perspective as Christian’s grieve but not like those who have no hope. Apparently the second year can be worse than the first as the shock wears off, although strictly no timeline as we are all unique. I’m not going to allow that to happen to me. I’ve made a choice to live and follow the Lord as best I can. As each day passes I will choose to have peace and joy in the Lord and his promises. I’m so grateful God has revealed himself to us as a family, sent his only son Jesus to save us. This world is broken but one day will all be made whole. In the meantime, we keep going and know you are loved
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This morning I went along with my daughter for breakfast which was lovely, we went in separate cars as she has work and I needed to do some shopping , my shopping included 2 birthday cards for grandchildren and happy birth card for our expected great granddaughter , I pulled up outside the card shop as I was early my mind started to drift thinking my wife use to do all the cards and presents for family and friends! I felt so alone all of a sudden and cried for 10 minutes or so before wiping my tears and walking to the shop door noticing on the Sue Ryder Charity shop immediately next door only 2 bags or boxes of donations at this time! Instant reminder that I still have the clothes and accessories to sort through, as tears came back I tried to pick read the cards I needed, don’t know what the shop assistant thought when I went to the till ! The world is so full reminders
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@Chad The world is full of reminders, but good for you buying the cards and acknowledging birthdays, some men would not. There is no rush to go through clothing, unless you feel it will be easier on you in the long run. You are in the midst of the rawest stages of grief, but you are carrying on! You will be alright, I wish you as peaceful rest of the day as possible 
Cindy
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I feel I don’t k ow how to go on life is so unbearable without him. The funeral was on Friday and I can’t stop crying. I try to keep busy and my family are very supportive but my life is so different now. I took my life with him for granted and now it’s gone I can see how lovely it was. Nothing special just us living our lives together I didn’t realise how hard just getting through the day could be.
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Hello Marmy
Expressing and sharing your feelings will help to process and slowly adjust to the changes ahead of you. I know it’s not a journey you want neither did I. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 9 months ago and can identify with your pain. I’ve done lots of research around grief and widowhood and there is help out there. This platform allows to share. You’re not alone and there’s no one right way to grieve but the pain will lessen. Don’t view grief as stages, it doesn’t help you. You won’t think it now but you will be able to laugh and feel joy again, when you least expect it. Don’t think too much into future. It won’t help. Just know you can have a fulfilled future carrying the love and great memories of your person along side you. I’m a Christian and find Gods word and promises of heaven has been an enormous comfort for me. Listen to your body, rest when you need to rest, eat regularly and try to get some fresh air daily. It’s very early days and the rawness will take time to recover. When you’re ready, I can recommend a book called The grief recovery handbook by John James and Russell Friedman. God bless!
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Thank you I can’t tell you how much your words have helped me. Hopefully in time I will be able to read the book.
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Dear Marmy I am sorry you are suffering. I found the first two to three months to be the worst. Then bit by bit the pain gave way to emptiness and longing. I’m now over nine months in and I still cry but more often than not the tears are cathartic and I still find it difficult to find pleasure without my love. I live alone which makes it difficult but I believe you have family close which is a blessing. This site has also been a godsend for me as everyone understands the pain of a bereavement and the people are lovely.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
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@Marmy56 Hi Marmy! So sorry for your loss. We do live our lives, as if they are nothing special, but now we realize just how blessed we were. Our loved ones provided structure for our days, if only in our hearts, and now we must fill the gap they leave, with just ourselves.
My husband died 9 years ago. The first year you are a little crazy and odd things will happen.A minor fender bender, the flu etc.
Luckily I found love again, unluckily he died in May. You just never know what will happen, but you must take care of yourself and anything emergent, other than that, give yourself peace and space to grieve. One day at a time! I hope you have friends and family, and we are here 
Cindy
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Today I had nice morning with my understanding youngest cousin and then afternoon with my oldest mate and his wife, came home too 3 letters one was a Freemans flyer , second was a DBS letter clearing me for a post office job and the 3rd was a letter with vouchers congratulating my wife on 25 years service with the NHS , my wife passed on the 17th of August! As if things aren’t hard enough getting letters like this just make my blood boil !after doing tell us one and getting letters regarding survivors pension why can’t they work it she’s no longer us ???
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@Chad Hi Chad! Sorry you keep getting letters. My husband died nine years ago and I still get mail for him. Sometimes I return it with “deceased” clearly written. Glad you had company though. Hope today was better and you rest well Cindy
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Hello All,
New to site and lovely to meet you all. My husband sadly passed away four weeks ago, after a two year battle, which he lost.
I miss him so much, after 20 years of marriage it’s so difficult living here alone without him.
As you all know sorting out the finances is so stressful, I just wish it would magically disappear . My children and family have been very supportive, however I just feel I want to be on my own at the moment.
I am also dealing with step children who never visited their father , ie daughter 9 months ago and his son over 2 years ago.
They are constantly posting on social media of their loss, which I do appreciate he was their father. However they were never here to hold his hand. but have the time to post performative grief on social media platforms, for the likes. I find it so distasteful and my husband hated social media.
Thankyou for your time x
Hi Sue I am sorry to hear about your husband. My wife also had a two year fight with bile duct cancer. She died on Christmas day. This site is full of lovely people suffering but finding comfort posting how they are coping.I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
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Awe bless you Sue ! Thinking of you in these very difficult times, where here for you ! Take care of yourself 
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