@Rosebush21 are you OK? Just checking to see if you’re ok
Steve passed away two years ago. Within 6 months I’d moved a good 5 hours away. I just couldn’t stay in the area where we had walked and the house we built together, the pain was too much I couldn’t breathe. Now I’m wondering what have I done. The renovations in my new house (1850s build) have been a challenge which has kept me going. But now I’m starting to decorate it into a home and I’m really struggling to move on. I can’t make a single decision on colour, furniture, carpets curtains. It just feels so wrong without him.
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I thought I wanted to move at one time but then I don’t.
It is hard being reminded all the time and then it is comforting.
We lived here half our lives. I look at all the things he did when he was alive and feel grateful he did it. Silly even like he decorated a room or mended something.
The old cat prowls around like she did before. So quiet without him. So sad what happened to him. Wherever I go reminds me when he was here.
When letters still come with his name on it makes me cry. He wont see his letters. What a waste sending letters to a dead person.
Told them but take no notice.
Today went to the dentist on my own again and now used to it after he always used to take me and wait. Got used to parking even if it is a challenge.
Used to lugging heavy bag now after he used to wait with the car outside bless him.
I got to be on holiday partly alone and will miss him.
It is 18 days to go before he went into hospital last year never to come home again and died 5 weeks later in hospital.
So less than two months before he died last year
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Good morning I’ve just read yourpost and it won’t be a surprise to say I’m in the same position as you were in in the early stages of grief. Im considering going back to work on reduced hours and although I feel I’ve got a bit more control, my anxiety levels are still through the roof. My question is really did going back to work help with anxiety?
Wishing you all the best 
Can I offer some feedback, @system?
‘Moving on’ seems to be a phrase that mourners dislike. I personally hate it. It just doesn’t apply to anything other than getting over a toxic ex. Can you use ‘carry on’ instead?
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