My husband of 42 years died recently, we knew it was coming, and I have had a wobble most days, but the last 3 days I can’t stop crying. There are no significant anniversaries etc. I just can’t stop crying. He has been gone about 6 weeks so I know it’s early days but why after 6 weeks am I now continously crying.
@MrsM57 Sounds quite normal to me. You were married for 42 years, which is a lifetime so learning to adapt to a new existence is a massive shock to the system. Be kind to yourself. It’s still early days. X
I really believe that we should cry if we want to rather than bottling everything up. I lost my husband just over 6 months ago and I still have many days when I want to cry, even when I’m out, so I’ve just decided it’s normal. I was with my husband almost 44 years and last week would have been our 43rd wedding anniversary so as Cee said it’s a lifetime we’ve spent with them so it’s not surprising if sometimes we get overwhelmed and just need to cry.
Its 6 weeks for me im finding it comes in waves the crying i can be ok one day then the next im back to day 1 its early days the crying helps release the sadness its all so hearbreaking and cruel xx
Thank you Cadge, you are at the same stage as me in your journey. I was, or thought I was dealing with the loss of my hubby quite well, but just recently I am really feeling it. Today I have had to get dressed & go out as my MOT is up, this is the 1st thing I have had to do without hubby’s help. We usually check the car over and he picks me up from garage, which is about 20 mins away. Had to get bus which took an hour so plenty of thinking time, then another hour later to pick the car up. I know we will get there, it’s just all this pain in between. Look after yourself.
Hi, yes crying comes in waves and when you are not expecting them. I’m not a cryer but I have cried so much since I lost my son in March. I will cry about any some days. In the early days I would cry my eyes out in the shower. I find sun glasses are a great asset to have with you incase you need them. Mind you say that I don’t go very far unless walking the coastal path and avoid people like the plague, but that is my choice. My whole outlook on live has changed and so have I. This site is my lifeline to be honest, it’s where people actually understand you. I wish I had known about it when I lost my parents. Take care xx
It’s 3 months today for me and I still find that I suddenly will just start crying. From reading on this site it is very much ebb and flow. It can get better and then come back and hit you like a sledgehammer.
After 6 weeks all I did was cry. At 3 months I have had very few days when I don’t cry sometime during the day. Sundays are the worst. I have to believe it will get better.
Yes Pudding and when that sledge hammer hits it’s awful, I experience it many times and will keep on experiencing it I guess. I was driving yesterday, had to encounter 2 ambulances and Co responders, brought it all back in a flash. The noise of a siren I find horrendous, ambulances, police cars. Feels like I go back 6 months. All we can do is minute by minute. Already walked, been for quick bike ride, washed the windows and my car, that was only washed few days ago, just need to keep busy otherwise my mind goes in overdrive, take care xx
I have emptied dishwasher. Been through 1 freezer trying to move as much as I can to the other one before neighbour comes to take and store remaining food before I try and defrost it. Put away a whole load of washing. Dreading defrosting as I have mobility issues. Trying to work out logistics in my mind before I start.
I have to have it all in my mind before I do anything. That’s kind of your neighbour to store some food whilst you de frost the freezer. On a warm day like this it will keep you cool…. Take care xx
All my neighbours are brilliant. One puts my bins by the kerb every week. Another one is picking a package up from my surgery tomorrow. Someone will put my garden waste bin out tonight. Another fixed my wobbly loo seat for me. We all look out for each other in our cul de sac of 5 houses.
That’s really nice for you having good neighbours, it all helps. I’ve got good neighbours, one of my good friends is next door and I can always talk to her when she is t at work. I was meant to go and do a few days for her this summer but I haven’t been, I’m not up to talking to people, only when I want to, which I know sounds awful but can’t be bothered. Just got lunch ready, even that some days is a task. No one gets it apart from people on this site. Hope you get your freezer done. I may have a potter around in the garden later, I can loose myself out there. Take care xx
Yes we have to do it for them just know that your husband is always with you always watching over you and cry when you need to it really helps release sending you (((hugs))))) xx
Sorry for your loss yes every day is different i find they will always be with us xx
I’m sat crying my eyes out at the moment, usually I can find the trigger point for it, but not at the moment. Heart is pounding and can’t even see how to get through this hell and pain I feel. Sorry being like this. Feeling very lost again and can’t focus xx
@MJG . I have days like that. I just start crying. I then try and remember that not all days are like this. Freezer not being done today. Neighbour doesn’t have enough room so talking to other neighbours to see if we can find enough room between them. If not will have to wait until I have eaten enough food so that I can fit it all in one freezer.
Not sure really why I’ve gone like it to be honest, trying to re group again but like you say it happens. You will have to start eating a lot😀, I hope a neighbour will be able to help out with freezer soon. It’s so warm today, not complaining though. Will be glad when it’s eve and I can get my pjs on. So sad really thinking like this. Take care xx
Just realised what my trigger point is for crying, my partner is at work and his son is working with him today. I think why can he work with him when I can’t see my son. I’m not jealous but it hurts. I don’t see much of my partners son, and quite happy not too, he his trouble sometimes and can do without it, plus I don’t trust him. Xx
I lost my husband just over 7 months ago, and there has not been one day that I haven’t cried.