I lost my partner march 2023. We had no children and his sisters don’t bother with me anymore. My sister lives abroad with her family. I don’t have any friends and I just signed up for the grief text messages and realised I didn’t have any friends or family to add. I feel like I don’t exist anymore
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Congratulate yourself for coming to this site, so many of us feel the same way that you do. Keep posting, there are so many of us out here. Sending hugs 
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Thank you for replying and sending me hugs. I have been reading the conversations for a few days just last night I felt strong enough to say something. I miss my partner so much and the evenings are so long without him. I feel it’s just me and a bottle of wine and I want to stop the wine.
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Sorry pressed send before I finished writing., I am sending you hugs as well
Thank you. Please try to stop with the wine, I know it numbs you for a while but it is a depressive and not worth the next day feeling. I always end up crying far more than I would have. I read somewhere that whilst grieving we should stop the alcohol, the diets, anything unkind to ourselves, and make sure we look after number one. Yes, the evenings are the worst, I’d give anything to sit cuddled up on the sofa with him again, yet I used to berate him for doing that as I was the more active one. And cooking and eating for myself is just so dull.
Anyway, it’s a sunny (if wet) day here, so I’ll make myself take a fast walk to blow away the cobwebs. I hope you manage your day, we need to try to make it better than yesterday. X
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it’s sunny and wet here too. I have decided that I’m going to go to the shop and not buy wine but buy meat and vegetables and cook our favourite meal instead of relying on microwave meals. I hope you enjoyed your walk x
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When I first lost Peter I was tempted to drink wine first thing in the morning,I never did though I have never drank very much but it was so tempting just to dull the pain.I realised it would be a slippery slope I’d have got on. It’s a sad and lonely life I hope hope you manage to cut the wine down a bit.xx
Thank you. I have been to the shop and for the first time in a year I haven’t bought a bottle of wine. I am going to try not to have any tonight. I never drank before my Dai passed away and I am sure he would be unhappy about me drinking but sometimes I feel so lonely and it helps. X
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Yeh you know i have found that walking and taking in fresh air to be the biggest help in this awful sitiation we are now in ! I take my dogs for as many walks as i can, weather permitting and i have found some nice friends whilst doing it ! One in particular who is really lovely xx
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Its so hard isnt it ? Its like we are in some foreign world now without them. Im 15 months into this and go through periods when i cope ok and then it seems to just fall apart ! I think bank holidays are the worse ! Make you feel more isolated 
and as we have one coming up feeling more alone than ever … ;( i have a nice friend who i think world of but don’t see him all the time but he is just a lovely, kind man and i dunno if he even realises it but i think he is. He has been so kind to me in the last 6 months. Think the world of him. Its so hard without our men here isnt it sending you big hugs xxx
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Thank you. I do go out for walks every day if I can and I am hoping to get a dog. I think having some company in the house will help. I cared for my partner for the last few years and I am disabled so it has to be a dog that doesn’t pull me over or is too energetic. I miss caring for someone and I still wake up at night thinking he’s shouting me and then I remember he isn’t here anymore and I just cry. Sending you hugs xx
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Well done you,try distract yourself this evening if possible it’s so hard and lonely I know.I just have wine at the weekends and only a couple of glasses like we always did .If I’m finding something hard I say to myself pull yourself together you will feel much better when you have done this.I’m anxious about things that never bothered me before.I hope you have a peaceful evening.x
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Yep thats so true … things that you took with a pinch of salt before have suddenly become huge mountains to climb … i got a friend - well i thought she was a friend ??? - shes married ofcourse and hasnt got a clue ! Im so sick of people not understanding how hard this is for us … its as if you have to justify yourself all the time ! I aint justifying how i feel to anybody ! I would like to see how well they coped if they were in our shoes !! Huh !!
I’m so sorry. I’m all alone too after my fiancés passing. This is the worst thing ever.
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Yes people have no idea how this feels everyone thinks I’m fine and it couldn’t be further from the truth.I had my car serviced and mot this week got so anxious about which is ridiculous and it all went well but silly things cause so much anxiety
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Yeh thats just like me ! I got mine due in may and was panicking other day because i wasnt sure when it was due … i never panicked about it before !!! Jeez you drive yourself mad dont you ? Then had a bad day today cos think need new boiler and i just couldnt cope with it all by myself … nobody to turn to or say everything will be ok … anyway i got boiler insurance so just need to wait for them to get back to me … had to text my brother but you miss having your husband around to keep you calm dont u xx
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Thank you. I have done things this evening that I have put off doing for months. I have sorted the photos into albums and framed some of them. I have cried buckets while I was doing it remembering what we were doing when we took them but I felt like it was another step forward in the journey. X
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@Mini1 big hugs. I lost my husband in July. Life is lonely. I dont have friends, but I do have people I meet up for coffee with. Do you have any local women’s groups in your area, or does anyone on here live near you.
Keep talking on here it does help and everyone is friendly. Xx
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I have joined a church group. I am not religious but I go to the coffee morning and enjoy that but I don’t have any friends. I would love a group where people meet up for lunch or something like that. I occasionally go out by myself and sit in a cafe and have lunch but it makes me feel even lonelier because I see people coming in with friends or their partner. I just sit there with a book and get out as soon as I can x
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Youre brave doing that - going to a coffee shop by yourself !!! I cant ! Would rather have a coffee at home … 
txx